


The Wolf of Mithren

by Annsabella



Series: The Continuing Voyages [2]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Drama, F/M, Horror, Psychological Horror, Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:08:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 87,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24498460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annsabella/pseuds/Annsabella
Summary: Admiral Kathryn Janeway and her husband Captain Chakotay's children are developing some extraordinary talents no one can explain. Their son Asa has painted a realistic yet disturbing image they seem to recognize but cannot place. Meanwhile, a mysterious woman named Senua along with the admiral's assistant Victoria has been actively protecting her and her family for unknown reasons.In the Delta quadrant, Ambassador Neelix relays reports about a planet that has appeared out of nowhere, the occupants seem to have vanished and left behind an active defense grid that makes it nearly impossible for any ships to get close enough to investigate without being destroyed.
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway
Series: The Continuing Voyages [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769944
Comments: 14
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

It was almost twenty-three hundred by the time Kathryn Janeway had gotten the children to bed, her youngest daughter Eva, had been changed, fed, and was now finally asleep along with the rest of her siblings. As she lay on the bed trying to read Homer’s Odyssey, a poem which mainly focuses on the Greek hero Odysseus, king of Ithaca, and his journey home after the fall of Troy, couldn’t focus on it. All she kept thinking about was her husband, Chakotay.

He was currently on an odyssey of his own for the last four months. Starfleet had requested him specifically for a four-month expedition to the delta quadrant. He was assigned to captain the USS Hermes, a new breed of slipstream class starship. 

Ambassador Neelix, who was the only Federation ambassador assigned to the delta quadrant, had advised Starfleet of multiple reports he was getting about a strange planet that appeared out of nowhere. The structures on the surface were technologically advanced but seemed to have been abandoned by its population overnight. There was a defense grid in orbit, making it nearly impossible for anyone to get a closer look without risking the loss of their ships. 

Even though her leave was almost up, and their daughter Eva was nearly a year old now, Starfleet didn’t want to separate both parents from their young daughter at this point, opting instead to request Captain Chakotay’s expertise due to his knowledge of advanced tactical training, specialties in both archeology and paleontology, and planetary expedition. Including being the only officer of his rank with any knowledge of the delta quadrant.

Over the last year, they had decided to move from their condo in San Francisco to a large plantation style house in her hometown of Bloomington, Indiana. The children were ready for the change, missing the call of the outdoors and the freedom it provided now that they’d come to better terms with their past. Her mother was thrilled they were now living so close, making her visits frequent and easier. 

She was expecting her husband to return home in a couple of days, and the separation had been harder on her than she originally anticipated. Not being able to have him so close and in communications range, if only to hear his voice for a few moments, would have certainly eased her mind. Instead, she would have to wait to be contacted by Starfleet Command if there was a problem, and that was one call she didn’t want.

She ached to hold him, never having been separated for so long since they admitted their feelings and made their commitment, allowing their hearts to open fully to the other. It was the first time she had to find a way to cope without his continued presence since their union. Deanna, her mother, sister, and the children helped a great deal, along with visits from Seven, the Doctor, Tom, and B’Elanna.

Miral was almost three, and she was defiantly a handful. Her brother Michael was only five months older than Eva, and it was sweet to watch them play together. Eva was a very patient child, curious, intelligent, and extremely observant. She was fascinated by almost everything and would spend hours playing with her interlocking building bricks, trying to find new ways to not only put them together and duplicate the objects she saw but expand on them. Her parents, along with anyone who came into contact with her marveled at the ability. 

When she and Michael were together, they would build some of the most amazing structures. He had a tendency to take over and lead their projects while Eva followed his instructions without complaint, but once he got distracted by something else, she would redesign them, often making the object more stable and efficient. 

Sian continued her meditations and the practice of the Vulcan martial arts form Suus Mahna. Her parents had found a Vulcan Master of the art form with Tuvok’s assistance so she could continue her training. Kathryn and Chakotay had stayed to look in on a couple of her sessions, and what they saw was a child who was not only laser-focused but was turning out to be quite the little master herself. Her instructor had confessed to them in private that he was impressed by her technique, and how quickly she seemed to pick up on the forms subtle nuances as if she had been studying the art form for far longer than her age would have allowed. 

Asa’s paintings were remarkable. Even though he hadn’t painted the man again, he still continued to have dreams of places, people, things he couldn’t explain, recreating the images on canvas. Although some of the images had been disturbing, they hadn’t invoked the same level of dread the man had. The others were of beautiful alien vistas’, their inhabitants, culture, and technology, all painted in the same beyond real three-dimensional quality. Several artists who Phoebe had shown his work too wanted to come to watch him paint and study his technique, amazed by his level of precision and his ability to make any object appear absolutely real. 

Kathryn had no qualms about limiting their time with her son and granted few requests. He was still a child after all, and he needed to be a child for as long as possible. He would have the rest of his life to be an adult, but childhood came only once, and as far as she and Chakotay were concerned the rest of his would-be as joyful an experience as it would be for the rest of their children. 

However, there’s only so much normality a parent can provide as a member of Starfleet. Especially when your mother is an admiral and your father a captain whose ship was lost in the delta quadrant for seven years. The level of fame that came to them due to that twist of fate did not always bring good tidings. Sometimes, it bestowed a certain amount of animosity on them from the other children, as if their parents weren’t special somehow because of who theirs were. There were a few times when Kathryn or Chakotay would have to go up to the school and speak with the principal regarding some kind of altercation one of her children had gotten into. 

Sian would restrain herself due to her mental training, and she never used her knowledge of martial arts in an offensive way, only in defense, and even then, it was only used to harmlessly disable her opponent. Asa had come home with his share of black eyes, busted lips, and various abrasions and bruises. It was nothing that a dermal regenerator couldn’t fix, but it was worrying. Asa had told them some of the things the children who had taken issue with him were saying, that he and his sister weren’t really their children, they were imposters from another reality and that their parents must have felt sorry for them or ordered to provide their care. They may have originally been their counterpart’s children, but they loved them as if they themselves had given them life. 

Asa had been deeply hurt by their words; his parents not happy with the results they’d gotten from the principle. Where their children were concerned, they were a force to be reckoned with. She hadn’t just been handed a promotion to admiral, she’d earned it through years of hard work and sacrifice. Granted, had it not been for her stint in the delta quadrant forcing her to prove her metal over the years, that she was not only a capable leader but had the fortitude to endure by upholding Federation principles, the promotion might have come later rather than sooner. She used that same fortitude and intimidating presence to force the issue with their school, once she had, miraculously her children’s relationship with their peers improved dramatically. 

She didn’t know when her eyes had closed, or when the precise moment occurred that she’d fallen asleep. If it had not been for something soft and warm repeatedly pressing itself against her lips, she might have found herself in the morning laying in a similar position, the book either next to her on the bed or possibly on the floor.

The pressing upon her lips had moved to her neck along with something pressing down on her, a soft touch caressing the side of her cheek. Once the unusual sensations had broken through the fog of sleep and registered in her brain her eyes snapped open, her hands immediately pushing back hard against the object.

“Kathryn, it’s me,” Chakotay said and rolled to the side so she could see him clearly.

“Chakotay?” She questioned in disbelief.

“Hello beautiful,” He stated with a grin.

“Chakotay!” She exclaimed and pulled him toward her, bestowing a series of firm kisses against his mouth. He chuckled softly as he tried to kiss her back, clearly, she missed him as much as he did her. “I thought…you weren’t…coming back…for two more…days?” She asked between kisses before settling in for a long slow one, drawing him in and making him forget what he was going to say by the time she stopped long enough for him to answer. 

“Wow, if that’s the response I get from you when I go away for a few months I should consider doing it more often.” 

She smacked him lightly on the arm, “Not that I’m complaining, but what are you doing home?”

“We finished early, but we’re going to have to go for another tour. Starfleet’s sending us back out with two other ships, Voyager and Mercury.”

She groaned as her head fell back and closed her eyes, “How long before you have to go back?”

He knew she wasn’t happy about it; he wasn’t either, especially once he told her how long he might be gone for. But for now, she was his, “A couple of weeks.”

She didn’t reply at first, only gave a long sigh, “I supposed we always knew this day would come. How long will you be gone for?”

“I don’t want to talk about that right now,” He said changing the subject, I just want to enjoy being home with our children and my sexy wife,” then began kissing her neck again, his hand gently caressing her breast, the size and shape back to normal. She’d stopped breastfeeding Eva a couple of months ago when she’d gotten for first two teeth, one upper and one lower. Once she’d been bitten by her while trying to breastfeed, she’d had enough. 

“Oh God,” she moaned distracted, it was all she could manage once he began kissing and touching her again. It had been too long since they’d been together, and she’d been looking forward to this reunion as much as he was. 

Slowly his hand drifted from her breast down her body and began to pull down her panties, pulling himself away just long enough to remove them before returning to her. She could feel his considerably sized erection resting against her opening, and all she wanted was for him to push himself inside, to feel him fill her in that pleasantly familiar way. 

“I need you inside me.” She whispered, urging him closer so she could once again find the sweet taste of his lips. He complied, entering her as he released a soft moan against her mouth. 

He moved against her slowly at first, her legs coming up and wrapping around his waist. Making love to her was something he’d never tire of. He relished the way she felt around him, almost as if she were crafted to him specifically. She felt the same way about him, and how his touch invoked feelings within her she’d never felt with anyone else. It was as if they were made for each other.

“I love you,” he whispered, enjoying the way her hands moved along the length of his back, one hand stopping to grasp and hold a firm cheek. 

“I love you too,” she replied just as softly, savoring the way his hips rose and fell against her, the muscles of his bottom clenching and relaxing with each movement. 

He wanted to make this moment last as long as possible, but it was starting to become impossible to hold back. Her moans of pleasure, the dirty talk she had begun whispering against his ear wasn’t helping this process. He began to think of things that would delay his release, trying to find something to pull his body’s focus. Malon, Hirogen, doing complicated math problems in his head, boxing, naming all the constellations he could think of. 

Suddenly he scrambled off her and sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands rocking slightly. She sat up concerned and crawled over to him, thinking something was seriously wrong. He’d never just stopped and completely removed himself from her like this before. “What’s wrong? Did I say something? Do something?”

“Yes and no.” Was all he could manage, still trying to run through all the things in his head he found tedious or required a great deal of concentration. The reply didn’t clear up her confusion, instead, it only left her feeling more puzzled. She began to rub her hands gently across his back and shoulders. “Please don’t touch me right now.” He said not realizing how the words sounded. 

“Fine,” she said curtly and began to move off the bed and stand up.

It was only then he realized his mistake, “Kathryn,” he called and stood up. Rushing over to the door, he’d just managed to block her from leaving. The only thing that gave him a head start was that she’d stopped long enough to put on her robe, “I didn’t mean it like that. I was just…” he flushed, embarrassed.

She wasn’t angry yet, merely annoyed by the way he’d spoken to her, “I’m not looking to start a fight with you Chakotay. I just need a few moments.”

“I’m sorry if you understood why I stopped…” he flushed again, and this time she did notice.

Her tone and stance softened. “Why did you?”

“You…you almost made me…” He just couldn’t bring himself to say it, his whole body felt hot with embarrassment. She waited for him to continue, and the longer he took to reply the more her stance and eyes began to harden again. It was a stupid thing to be embarrassed about, but he was finding it difficult to admit just the same, taking a deep breath he blurted it out before his brain had the chance to talk him out of it, “You almost made me come, alright.” Her lips began to turn up into a half-smile, “I was trying to hold back for you, but I couldn’t.” 

She laughed, unable to help herself. “Oh, honey. This was what all that was about?” She found the whole thing silly and ridiculous. “You should know me well enough by now that I would never have tried to make you feel bad about it even if you had. I know it’s been a while for both of us.” She said and slipped her arms around his waist, looking up at him, “I wasn’t expecting perfection, just making love with you is enough.”

He smiled and wrapped his arms around her. Leaning down he kissed her, then kissed her again. She responded in the manner he’d come to expect from his advances and lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist as his hands gripped her thighs and took her the few steps required back to the bed. Lowering her down, she released her hold on him and pushed herself back, shrugging out of her robe on the way. Moving toward her again, he stopped her from laying back until he’d removed the satin nightgown and tossed it to the side, wanting to see and feel her body fully against his.

Pulling him down to her, she kissed him, showing rather than telling how much she wanted him. She was pleasantly surprised as he immediately slid himself back inside before she’d even fully prepared herself. Giving a short cry against his mouth, making him smile slightly before resuming the motion of his hips. Her legs came up again, wrapping around his waist as he moved.

Their misunderstanding had delayed his desire for release, but not in the way he had originally intended. “Deeper.” She moaned against his ear. Shifting their position, he was able to comply with her request, bringing a soft pleasured cry to her lips. It didn’t take long for either of them to forget what happened and completely focus on the other. Their slow deliberate movements bringing them one step closer to ecstasy. 

Each of them was in an intense state of euphoria. All she could feel was him, the feel of his hands on her body, his mouth assaulting the spot just below her left ear that always drove her crazy. Once he’d found it, he’d often use it to his advantage, which was what he was doing now. It felt as if her body was getting lighter, the familiar flutter in the pit of her stomach beginning to rise and expand. She was so close to release, just a few more seconds and she be there. 

“You feel so good baby,” Chakotay whispered, “Come for me, Kathryn.”

She did, not that she needed encouragement. Her eyes rolled back in her head, her body pressing hard against him as she arched her back, a series of soft moans escaping her lips. The feeling making her body soar higher and higher, then just when she thought it couldn’t possibly get any better, she felt him releasing himself inside her. The feeling shut down all thought, pushing her over the top into oblivion. 

Almost from the moment, he felt her inner walls begin to contract and expand around him, his body let go, his mouth pressed against her neck, whimpering his release. He didn’t think he would ever stop as her heels dug into the back of his thighs, her hands clutching his back. His arms buried under hers, his hands gripping the back of her shoulders as his hips kept thrusting automatically against her. 

She could feel him holding her tightly as her body floated back down to Earth, his mouth pressing against her as his whimpering turned into a low deep moan, sounding similar to a growl. If the sound occurred under different circumstances, she’d have found it intimidating. Unwrapping her legs from his waist, she began caressing his back and making soothing sounds against his ear. When his body finally relaxed, all his weight seemed to be pressing against her chest, making it difficult to breathe. 

“Chakotay, please…” She wheezed, “…I can’t breathe.”

Finally, he rolled to the side, hearing her take in a large gulp of air. Both of them lay on their backs, breathing heavily, sweaty, but content. Once she’d gotten her breath back, began to laugh hard at the absurdity of it, after a moment he joined her. When the laughter died down, he turned to look at her as she closed her eyes and felt an almost overwhelming sense of love and admiration. She’d given him everything he’d ever wanted from this life, and if he died right now, he’d do so deeply fulfilled and content. 

Feeling his eyes on her, she allowed her head to roll to the side and looked back at him. She loved and needed him more than words could ever describe, and she could see those same feelings reflected back at her. She had no way of knowing when they met face to face on Voyager’s bridge years ago, his eyes hard and angry, holding his gaze as she silently conveyed under no uncertain terms she was in charge and he would have to get used to it, that he was the person who would fulfill every need she didn’t realize she’d been missing. 

His lips curved into a gentle smile and took her hand. Giving a firm squeeze she smiled back. As he stared at her, a single sentence made its way from his lips without prior thought or realization that he’d uttered a sound until he saw her eyes grow wide in shock. “I want you pregnant.”


	2. Chapter 2

Sobek's tears had been bitter, the man’s face haunting his memories. He had been one of the few who’d survived the ordeal on the Impeteux. Mithren used to be a place of peace, one he could find respite, comfort, and benignity. The war never coming to them directly until now. They had always been aware of the threat and continued to suffer greatly to it. If only they could find the man responsible perhaps the nightmare could end. 

He’d seen the crew mentally shut down one by one, each of them surrendering to what appeared to be a delusional and cationic state. It had happened before, but they had been able to temporarily ward off the effects of his power until he came back with a renewed sense of purpose. The man had tried to use his memories against him, force him to remember one of the worst events of his life. 

Impeteux was a supply depot, a place where ships would stop to refuel, exchange information, and gather supplies. Sobek was the engineer on duty at the time chaos broke loose and created a hell he’d never imagined. He thought his brief encounter with the Borg was hell until the man in grey unleashed something far worse. It couldn’t be stopped, but he’d learned to slow them down, disable them for a while. He had learned firsthand why their ships never returned from Botha space.

The man in grey had reminded him of his failure to act when his wife and child were in danger. He ran, his amygdala going into overdrive, driving his sense of terror and fueling his desire to run. There was nothing he could do he’d told himself; they were already lost to the Borg and it would be suicide to try and go back for them. He’d launched the escape pod with only minimal life support and masked his life signs, allowing himself to drift amongst the wreckage in the hope the Borg would ignore him, and they had.

He tried to come to terms with what he’d done over the years, unable to forgive himself for abandoning the only two people he loved more than life itself. That day, he had learned differently. It was self-preservation that had won out in the end, and now he’d faced down death again and survived. Living with nightmares even while awake. Never knowing when or how it would return to finally claim him. 

***

Harry’s patience was growing short. Tal Celes was an attractive young Bajoran, she’d served aboard Voyager for seven years but never quite found her place there. Even after her away mission with Captain Janeway she never got the hang of being a sensor analyst. It was then the captain allowed her to peruse other areas of interest.

Janeway felt responsible for her, considering she was a member of her crew and didn’t want anyone feeling out of place there. It was more than that, he remembered the look in his former captain’s eye when she told him how the young woman had said that she didn’t deserve to be on her ship and that she really wasn’t a part of Voyager, she just lived there. It seemed to bother her on a personal level. She was a kind and caring woman, he knew, and the last thing she wanted was for anyone to feel as though they didn’t belong. It was then that Janeway approached him with her idea.

She wanted him to take her under his wing, show her the ropes on how to be an operations specialist, perhaps under his tutelage the young woman would find some new sense of purpose that didn’t leave her feeling inadequate – as she’d told her aboard the flyer, there was nothing aboard the ship for her, unless Neelix needed a waitress in the messhall. She had become determined to show the young woman she was wrong, she was just as important and just and needed as anyone else on board, all she required was a little encouragement to get her pointed in the right direction. 

Over time, Harry did more than just take her under his wing, he fell in love with her. Although he never said anything to her directly, he found more ways to spend time with her. They developed a deep friendship, and even though he’d hoped to build up the courage to say more one day he never did. They returned to Earth and she’d returned home to Bajor to see her friends and family. They promised to stay in touch, keep the lines of communication open. But over time, their letters got fewer and fewer. Perhaps she didn’t feel the same way about him as he did her. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d opened his heart to someone and got hurt, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. 

He had found his patience with the current situation growing thin, and he’d never been known as a man who frustrated easily, always showing grace under pressure. Captain Joanna Hunter was pleased when he became available for reassignment, his knowledge as an operations officer superb, his knowledge of the delta quadrant invaluable. It would certainly serve her well when she headed there with the Mercury in a few weeks, having already been given the orders before the Hermes had even returned. 

Starfleet was still in the process of deciding what admiral they would be sending along with them to oversee the mission, and there were several good candidates to choose from, but who they wanted might not be possible considering she’d only given birth to her youngest child almost a year ago, and that her husband was going to be the captain of the Hermes on this mission. They were reluctant to ask, even though provisions could be made to accommodate their family, as they were already being made for other families who would be serving on the possible year-long mission. 

This had become the source of Harry’s lack of patience. If he didn’t seek out Celes now before he left to return to the delta quadrant, he might not get another chance, and he was finding that life was offering him few of those. He’d sent her a message almost a month ago, telling her how he felt, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, marry her. If he was going to do this, he would have to lay all his cards out on the table and hope she felt the same way. She’d given him so many signals during their time together that she did but held herself back as if she were waiting for him to make the first move. 

Captain Hunter had ignored the clipped replies during his shift, knowing something was weighing very heavily on his mind. She could see how his behavior was annoying her first officer Daniel Burke, but she’d given him the signal to let it go, reluctantly he did. Once his shift was over, Harry went back to his quarters and at long last received a reply from Celes. As much as he wanted to know the answer to his most important question, marriage, he was afraid to open it.

Sitting before his desktop terminal, his eyes stared at her name, making no moves to access the message. He’d been waiting and dreading this moment for a month. Playing out the responses he both hoped and thought she would actually send. Now he had an answer if he could only bring himself to open it and end the torment one way or the other. At least he’d no longer find himself trapped in a loop of indecision and endless scenarios. He’d know an answer.

Slowly, he forced himself to raise his hand and press the button which accessed the message, his hand pausing and restarting several times in uncertainty. The answer would be a life-changer one way or the other. Finally, his finger stroked the button and the message opened. There was only a single word she’d chosen to answer his inquiry. Yes.

***

She sat up, completely in shock, “I beg your pardon?”

He’d been thinking about for the last few months, wanting to have another child with her. He loved her pregnant, the glow about her, watching her belly grow over the months knowing it was their child she was carrying. He loved watching her when she was pregnant with Eva, but with everything going on they really didn’t get a chance to enjoy the experience. He wouldn’t trade any of his children for anything, he loved them all, there would always be room in his heart for more. 

“I had no idea I was going to say that.” He said sitting up.

All she could do was stare at him, the words going around in a continuous loop in her head. She didn’t know how they were going to be able to give their current children all the attention they needed, much less add another, not to mention their youngest was just reaching the one-year mark. She was looking forward to going back to work now that all her hormones were back in balance and she was feeling like herself again. She’d even managed to shed the bit of extra weight she’d gained during her pregnancy, chasing a baby turned toddler around had a lot to do with that. Now he was asking her to go through it again.

“I’m not sure I want another baby Chakotay.” She said finally, and she could see the look of disappointment in his eyes, “We have a lot of things to work out between our work and home life before we start thinking about making any additions.”

He agreed with her, knew he was crazy to even be thinking it right now, but his heart didn’t care about what was reasonable or even logical. He always dreamed of having a large family, his father had too, but his mother was unable to bear any more children after his sister Sekaya and had to have a partial hysterectomy due to a life-threatening infection. A few weeks after she gave birth, it was discovered that not all of the placenta had detached from the uterine wall, it was too late by then to resolve the situation utilizing any means other than its removal. His father had been deeply disappointed by the news, but he would rather have his wife healthy and alive than not at all. Over time, he grew to accept it, his dream never fulfilled. 

“You’re absolutely right. I know that. It’s just…” The words trailed off as he turned around to sit on the edge of the bed with a sigh. 

She moved up behind him and slipped her arms around his waist, her chin resting on his shoulder. “It’s just what?” She asked softly.

He reached over and caressed her arm, replying at a whisper he said, “Doesn’t matter.” 

She frowned, knowing it absolutely did matter to him, more than she realized, “No secrets, remember?”

He smiled and nodded, “I know we’ve never discussed having more children other than Eva. We weren’t even aware of Asa and Sian’s existence at the time, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything, I love them as much as I know you do. But I’ve always had this silly dream about having a large family one day. I didn’t think it would ever happen considering I’d spent a good portion of my life in Starfleet or the Maquis, and when I found myself lost in the delta quadrant that dream began to die, especially after I found myself in love with a woman who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but due to our circumstances could never return those feelings because she was my captain and felt she needed to devote herself to getting her crew home. 

“Now she’s mine,” he said firmly, “and I’m more in love with her than I ever thought one man could be, I could go on loving her for another ten eternities and it still wouldn’t be long enough.” He felt several drops of water splash upon his chest and slide down his body to his thigh, “I can’t stop wanting her, needing her, making love to her, and I don’t ever want that to change. I find myself looking forward to growing old with her, sitting next to each other surrounded by our children and grandchildren, and it’s my hope she feels the same way.”

“She does,” Kathryn whispered, her voice choked with emotion, her arms holding him a little tighter. 

“I know we should wait, and we can, as long as she promises to at least give it some thought.” He stated quietly.

She didn’t answer right away, considering, then asked as long as they were still speaking in the third person. “How many children is he wanting?”

“Six,” He felt her body go tense and released a soft chuckle, “that would be his ideal number, but he’d be willing to negotiate.”

She smiled, “She might consider four in total, but give her time. Okay?”

He began to turn toward her, and she let him go. When they were face to face, he reached out and took her face in his hands, wiping her cheeks with his thumbs. Their eyes locked, and he could see the love she had for him, rivaling his own. He kissed her then, tenderly. When the kiss ended, he stared back into her eyes again and replied. “He has all the time in the world.”

***

The children had been so happy to see him that they’d hardly been able to contain their excitement. When Kathryn carried Eva in from the nursery, she nearly broke her neck trying to push herself out of her mother’s arms the moment she saw his face. Her little hands opening and closing as her tiny arms reached for him as if they were saying mine, mine, mine. He smiled and went to her quickly before his wife lost her hold and took Eva into his arms, lifting her high above his head as if she were flying. She squealed in delight before releasing a full belly laugh. 

Kathryn leaned against the doorway with her arms crossed and smiled. This was one of those times that made being a parent worthwhile, the mynute moments of joy that often felt fleeting, a snapshot in the mind of one perfect moment of unrestrained bliss. Chakotay moved over and gave his wife a soft kiss on the lips. Eva took his face in her tiny hands and gave her father a kiss, copying the action, making her parents laugh. “Give mommy a kiss.” He encouraged. Eva laid her head on his shoulder and snuggled into him instead, her head turned away from them both. “That isn’t very nice.” He said in amused surprise.

Kathryn reached out and rubbed her daughters back. “She’s definitely a daddy’s girl, but most girls are I suppose.” Feigning a hurt response, the hint of a smile betraying her.

He leaned in close to his wife again and whispered. “That’s okay, I’m definitely a mommy man.” Then bestowed a quick kiss to her lips before heading outside. “Okay guys, let’s go!” He called to the rest of the children and they all headed out together shouting in excitement, except for Sian, she was happy but more restrained in her expression, the mental exercises clearly having an effect on how she now expressed emotion. 

Once they were outside, the laughter and squeals of delight continued as they played with their father. Kathryn began picking up the tornado of toys and games they’d left behind and begun putting them away. Moving from room to room, she heard what she thought was the com unit beeping. Making her way to her home office, she sat down at the terminal, her hair a mess and looking flushed from going up and down the stairs. It was Admiral Hastings. 

Seeing her current state, he asked, _“Did I catch you at a bad time?”_

“Nope, just part of my normal day picking up after the children,” She answered with a smile, “What can I help you with Fred?”

He smiled back, _“How do you feel about cutting your leave a little short?”_

She cocked her head to the side slightly, “Oh?”

_“Your husband may have mentioned it to you by now.”_

“About him going back to the delta quadrant for a longer tour yes. He hasn’t told me how long yet.”

He seemed reluctant to say more, not really wanting to be the one to tell her, but at the same time, she might be pleased with the news by the end, _“We’re sending three ships back to there for an extended period. Not just to continue the original investigation, but to help a race called the Mithren. They state that not only a race called the Botha has been the cause of their ships disappearing for years now, but one of their outposts had been attacked. Leaving only one survivor.”_

“How many people does the station usually hold?” She asked carefully.

_“Almost a little over two-thousand at any given time I’m told.”_

She was surprised, “And he’s the only one left? Who attacked them?”

_“That’s the strange part, he claims to have never seen anything like this before. According to Ambassador Neelix, he referred to them as necromorphs.”_

Confused she asked, “Necromorphs?” 

_“We’re not sure, Sobek, the man who survived has been going through some phycological testing in order to determine if he’s suffering from delusions or hallucinations. We’d like you to be the Admiral who not only oversees the mission but also go back to the planet your husband was sent to originally investigate. It appeared roughly about the same time the station was attacked.”_ He paused, gauging her reaction, _“I know you’re hesitant to take on this assignment based on your current family obligations, but your experience and knowledge of the delta quadrant makes you the perfect choice._

_“Kathryn, I know you’re also concerned about being separated from your children, especially when your husband will be working under you on this assignment. We’ve made arrangements for that, in fact, there will be several families on board due to the length of the mission. Your former chief engineer and helmsman being one of them. The second part of this mission will be to re-establish diplomatic relations with some of the races you’ve encountered during your time there, now that the Federation is able to establish a presence. We are expecting the assignment to last at least a year, with a possible extension depending on the level of success.”_

A mix of emotions flooded her consciousness, excitement, trepidation, caution. The length of time they’d be gone for and the thought of dragging her children into space for such a long period of time wasn’t something she relished the idea of. The delta quadrant could be a dangerous place. However, it would be different this time, she wouldn’t be cut off from the fleet, and a part of her liked the idea of being able to explore the quadrant again with better resources and more personnel. Having three advanced starships would certainly provide that support especially knowing that Voyager had been retrofitted with significant upgrades over the last two years, and they’d be able to stay in touch with Starfleet Command due to significant advancements made to long-range communications.

“I’ll have to discuss this with Chakotay and our children, see what they think of the idea.”

_“I expected you would, so contact me in a couple of days with your answer.”_

“Thank you, Fred,” she said with a smile, “I know the fleet doesn’t have to allow me the choice, but I’m thankful they have.”

_“Starfleet always wants their best people on any assignment like this, especially when the expectations are so high. You’ve proven you know how to handle extremely difficult situations, and that you not only know how to lead but how to bring out the best qualities in the people who serve under you. Not to mention your experience with this area of space and some of its occupants will greatly improve Starfleet’s chances for success. Hastings out.”_


	3. Chapter 3

They had discussed the situation with each other, then the children. In the end, all of them decided to go. The option being that their father be gone for a year or more, believing, with good reason, that they wouldn’t be able to handle the separation for that period of time. Besides, Kathryn was beginning to look forward to going back out into space again, having missed it over the last year. 

Not being able to bring Bnalla was almost a deal-breaker for the children, but Gretchen had assured them she would take care of her while they were away. So, she had contacted Admiral Hastings and accepted the assignment. It would certainly be a challenge raising their family on a starship for a while, but no less challenging that it most likely would be if they were home, with a few major differences. If they wanted to stay in Starfleet, this is what was expected, and neither of them, especially Kathryn, was ready to relinquish her career just yet. 

Their point of launch would be at Deep Space Nine. Admiral Hastings had delayed the start date by another couple of weeks so she would have enough time to familiarize herself with the mission and the new ship’s enhanced slipstream drive and technology. It had been difficult with the constant interruptions from her children and husband but managed to eventually assimilate the information into her psyche. 

The Admiral would keep her main office on the Hermes to be close to her husband and children while holding offices and quarters on Voyager and Mercury when she felt her presence was either necessary or required. Her faithful assistant, Victoria Mason, would be by her side throughout the assignment, ready to provide whatever support she needed. 

On their way to the briefing room set aside for their use on Deep Space Nine, Victoria and Janeway walked side by side as she began to fill her in on the other officers she would be on this assignment with now that everyone had been confirmed. Three of them she knew, Chakotay, Tuvok – who had been promoted to Captain and would be assigned to Voyager, Tom Paris as his first officer. The other’s she was not familiar with. 

“Tell me about Captain Hunter,” Janeway asked as they walked.

Victoria pulled up the information on her data padd, “Captain Joanna Hunter, assigned to the Mercury. She served as Captain aboard the Independence, another Intrepid class, before being reassigned to her current posting. From what I’ve gathered, she’s smart, can often make decisions on the fly, and is generally loved and respected by those who serve under her. Hmm, sound like anyone you know?” She asked with a grin.

“Perhaps,” Kathryn replied, unable to stop the crooked smile gracing her lips, “Continue.”

“Her first officer Commander Daniel Burke, can be a bit of a stickler for the rules, likes to play it close to the vest, but when in a firefight he’s apparently one man you want in your corner. He’s an expert marksman with any type of phaser that’s current and some currently not in use. I’m told he never misses and is completely calm under pressure.”

Janeway raised an eyebrow, “Sounds like a good officer to have around,” Victoria nodded.

“Then there’s Commander Senua Ostad, your husband's first officer. She’s Nossican.”

“Nossican?” She replied in surprise, “I didn’t think we had any currently serving in the fleet. I know they’re apart of the Federation, but they rarely leave their homeworld, seemingly disinterested in associating with other races.”

“I believe since they became a charted member of the Federation a hundred years ago, only four others have served in Starfleet. The last one leaving after only serving about three years, and that was nearly twenty years ago.” Victoria stated.

“I’ve heard stories of their legendary telepathic and psionic abilities. When one of them decides to join the fleet, Starfleet Command likes to fast track them into a command position. If I remember my semester in the comparative analysis of xenomorph studies correctly, their mental acuity is on par with the Vulcans.”

“That was only five years ago, wasn’t it?” She quipped with a smile.

“Stop trying to get on my good side,” Janeway commented, unable to prevent the smile forming on her lips and failed, “What can you tell me about this particular Nossican?”

“I’m afraid there isn’t much. She showed a high level of acuity on all her mental evaluations. The same goes for her dexterity and physical strength. Her instructors were greatly impressed with her it seems, showing an aptitude for unconventional thinking and reasoning as well as leadership.”

“Has she had any experience with command?”

“Yes, over the last two years she’s been assigned to three other starships.”

She gave her an odd look, “That sounds rather ominous.”

“Actually, she was requested. Apparently, each of those captains were fighting over who was going to have her serve with them first, but she only stayed a few months in each instance. From what I gathered, she found each of them,” she looked at her notes, “In her words, ‘lackadaisical and shortsighted with the acumen of a Meleagris’.”

“Ouch,” She winced inwardly, “If I knew who those captains were, I might agree with her,” she joked lightly.

At that, they reached the briefing room and a crewman opened the door for them and announced her presence. Everyone in the room stood up at attention. She gave a wave of her hand and said, “At ease,” before taking her seat at the table. “I’ve been studying the mission details, and it appears Starfleet Command has a lot of expectations in relation to this assignment. I’m sure all of you are familiar with them?” A series of nods went around the room, “Good, then I won’t have to repeat it.” She said and clasped her hands together on the table, all business.

“Those are Starfleet’s expectations, and while I concur and support them, they are not mine. I expect everyone in this room to commit to this assignment fully. You will never get less than a hundred percent from me and I expect the same from the people I serve with. If you’re having any doubts, now is the time to express them.” No one spoke. “Now that that’s out of the way. Are there any questions?”

“I do Admiral,” it was Captain Hunter, “Is there anything more you can tell us about this man Sobek?”

“I’m afraid not, all the information we have is what was relayed to me by Starfleet Command though Ambassador Neelix. We’ll need to speak with him directly in order to disseminate anything further.”

“How reliable do you believe his information will be considering the reports from the doctors who’ve been treating him?” Paris asked.

“I’m not certain. Until our own psychiatrists have had a chance to evaluate him the only information, we have is what is currently in their report. I’m afraid we don’t have much to go on at this point, but that’s why they’re sending us. Command is extremely concerned about the necromorphs he mentioned, and if what he’s relayed is even remotely true, this problem won’t stay isolated in the delta quadrant.”

“I understand Admiral, that these necromorphs he described cannibalize the dead and then reanimate them in some way we’ve yet to comprehend, is that correct?” Commander Ostad asked.

“According to the information he has relayed that does appear to be correct,” She answered, then took on a straightforward tone, “I’m not going to lie to you. Just the idea that something of this nature could actually exist is frightening, and I wouldn’t blame any of you if you were, but it’s situations like these where we all took an oath of duty, loyalty, honor. If we do encounter anything remotely like what he’s described, we owe it to every citizen of the Federation to put an end to it.” She then allowed her tone to lighten. “Are there any other questions before we get underway?”

“Only one,” Tuvok said, “Mister Sobek has stated that he was only able to disable or delay them temporarily. Giving this situation the level of concern, it deserves. What is Starfleet Command’s recommendation on how to pacify these creatures?”

Janeway met his eyes, and with every ounce of courage and resolve, she replied, “That’s a good question Captain, and I wish I had an answer for you. However, we’ll have to wait and find out.” He nodded thoughtfully, “Dismissed,” when everyone stood up to leave, she said, “Captain Chakotay, a moment.” He retook his seat. Giving Victoria a nod, she indicated privacy, and she left the room. Looking back to her husband she said. “You were awfully quiet.”

He remained so for a bit longer, thinking before he spoke, “I’m not concerned for myself, I chose this life, but our children. Could we really live with ourselves if anything happened to them?”

She sighed, having wondered the same thing, “What’s the alternative? Send them back home to stay with my mother until we return? Do you believe you could be separated from them for a year or more?”

He shook his head. “No, I know it’s selfish, but I couldn’t.”

Standing up, she walked over and took the seat next to him. Reaching out she took his hand in hers. “It’s not selfish. We love them, and we want to be the ones who raise them to embrace our morals and our ideas. They won’t learn that if we’re separated from them. I know it’s a massive risk we’re taking, and I’ve been on the fence about it ever since I accepted this assignment, but if we’re both going to stay in Starfleet these are the kinds of choices we have to make. Unless you’re saying you’re ready to give up your commission.”

“No, I’m not ready to do that, and I’m not prepared to ask you do to that either. I know how important your career is to you, just as mine has become to me over the years. In many ways, I can’t imagine a better example to teach our children than by showing them our commitment to the ideals and principals we hold most dear.”

She smiled and caressed his cheek, “I find myself amazed by your insight at times. You always seem to know the perfect thing to say.”

He grinned and placed his hand over the one on his cheek. Sliding it to his lips he kissed the back of her slim delicate looking fingers, “So do you, I just say it better.” Then laughed.

She smacked him lightly on the arm before joining him.

**Four days in…**

It would be at least a month before they reached the Phalest sector where their only Ambassador to the delta quadrant resided, Neelix. It gave the crews time to get to know one another, feel each out if you will. The Admiral had been spending time on each ship, trying to get to know the people she’d be working with for the next year, and finding that she liked them. 

Commander Senua Ostad was unusual. She’d never met a Nossican in person and was finding herself fascinated to learn more about her and her culture, considering there wasn’t much about their species on record. She’d been surprised when she requested a private meeting but felt she was probably trying to get a feel for her, learn what kind of officer and person she was. If she were in her position, she might be doing the same. 

Chakotay hadn’t run into any problems in their dealings, and she seemed to know what she was doing. He found her friendly and approachable with a good sense of humor but always kept a respectful distance, especially with the officers who severed under her. She had been nothing like he was expecting or predicted and seemed impressed with her abilities and intelligence. But there was something about her he found unsettling, even though she’d hadn’t given him any reason to feel that way. He had chalked it up to the fact that very little was known about her species, so there was no sense of familiarity to rely on.

Victoria announced her presence, showing her in once the Admiral had given her consent. On their first meeting, she hadn’t really gotten the chance to look at her closely on Deep Space Nine, so when Senua entered her office her eyes began to take in the visual details. The young woman had a mane of flowing spun gold hair that she kept pulled back into a low bun, her eyes a penetrating liquid silver. Her skin was a light beige that almost shimmered in the light with long pointed thin ears that extended nearly six inches and sat flush against her head. 

“Please, have a seat,” Janeway said and gestured to the chair in front of her desk. “Coffee? Tea?”

“Coffee, black. I seem to have developed a taste for it over the years.” She replied, the timber in her voice sounding almost musical.

“I’ll be right back,” Victoria said then left to retrieve the beverages. 

“A coffee drinker. I have a feeling I’m going to like you, Commander.” She said with a slight smile. “So, how can I help you?”

“I simply wanted to meet you. I have studied the reports on your time in the delta quadrant, and although I have questioned some of the wisdom in your choices during your time there, I cannot fault you on your tactics. It is obvious to me that you are a strong and capable leader who is willing to sacrifice your own wellbeing in order to not only protect the people you serve with but others who cannot protect themselves.”

She seemed taken aback by her directness and honesty but did respect her for it. Victoria returned and provided their beverages before leaving them alone again. “Well, now that I have your approval,” she replied taking a sip of her coffee, “Any other observations you’d like to make while you’re at it?”

Senua stopped, sensing the offense she’d just made. “I meant no disrespect, Admiral.”

Janeway gave a quick wave of her hand and leaned back in the chair, “I’ve developed a thick skin over the years Commander, sometimes it’s good to have someone keep you on your toes, but I wouldn’t make a habit of it.”

She nodded, “I still find myself unaccustomed to how other races chose to communicate in such oblique terms. On my world, everyone is expected to say what they mean directly and without obstruction.”

“I understand the concept may seem quite strange to you. While I have a tendency to be more direct, it’s good to know how to choose your words in such a way that provides a bit of tact. The art of learning how to spare someone’s feelings is a lifelong practice, and one we don’t often master.”

The young woman grew silent for a moment, struggling with her thoughts. Janeway could tell she was having difficulty trying to find the right words to express what she wanted to say next and asked. “Do you have a question?”

“Just a premonition. However, it is highly inappropriate among my culture to relay future events.”

Janeway lifted an eyebrow. “We certainly don’t have that stipulation here. In fact, any information about what we might find out there could be extremely useful. I didn’t know your species were capable of this ability.”

“Not all of us do. In fact, it is a rare trait from what I’ve been told.”

Janeway chose her words carefully, “Would it be inappropriate of me to ask what you saw?”

Senua smiled, “Not at all. I would be remiss if I failed to mention that not every premonition will come to pass once it is revealed. So, I would suggest that no one completely rely on any vision I may have. But I can tell you if you wish. You may find the information a little too personal, however.”

Her interest was piqued, “So I’m assuming this vision is related to my family?”

“Specifically, your husband and yourself.”

“I see,” she replied, taking another sip of coffee. She shouldn’t ask and leave it be. A large part of her was telling her to do just that. But that small part of her wanted to know, couldn’t help needing to know on some instinctual level she couldn’t explain. “What did you see?” She found herself asking slowly, trying to mentally prepare herself for the answer.

“You will be pregnant soon.”

Her eyes started to grow wide, the desire to respond to the statement temporarily withdrawn. 

“I cannot tell you precisely when or how the circumstances will occur, but that is what I see and all I wish to see.”

She was flabbergasted. “You did mention, however, that not all of your premonitions come to pass once they are revealed. Correct?”

“That is correct, Admiral. In this case, I have a very strong sense that this revelation will be unavoidable. Even though I have relayed the information to you, I still see it as an inevitability. Whether it happens by accident or by choice, I do not know.”

The majority of her now wished she had not asked and left it alone as she gut was telling her. “Have you shared any of this information with Captain Chakotay?”

“I have not. Did you wish me to do so?”

“No,” she answered quickly, “I would prefer to keep this conversation between us.”

“As you wish.” She acknowledged. “There is one other vision I did have prior to leaving Deep Space Nine.”

“Not another one about my family I hope.”

“No, it's about the necromorphs that Sobek mentioned.”

Senua had the Admiral’s full attention now, “What was it?”

“The necromorphs are indeed no delusion. They are real, and what they bring with them is death.”

Janeway shuttered, “Thank you, Commander, I appreciate the information.”

She stood up and sat the empty cup down on the edge of the Admiral’s desk. “I have taken up enough of your time for today, Admiral. I will see myself out. Thank you for agreeing to meet with me.”

“You’re welcome,” she replied absently, her mind still trying to digest the information as Senua turned and left.


	4. Chapter 4

**Two and a half weeks later…**

**Mercury**

“Okay gentleman,” Captain Hunter said, “We’re going to build a portcullis.”

“What’s a portcullis?” Harry questioned as her first officer shook his head and put a hand on the man’s shoulder.

“If you’re going to spend any time with the Captain, Lieutenant, you’ll have to learn these things.”

She gave him an amused smile. “A portcullis Mister Kim was used to protect the entrance of a castle from attack and was usually positioned at the front of a castles gatehouse, it created yet another barrier to protect the people inside the castle from enemy attack.”

“The Captain is fascinated by fifteenth-century technology,” Burke said.

“Obsessed is more like it.” Her helmsman Lieutenant Robert Lancer commented.

“And this is what you do for fun?” Harry asked. He wanted to try and get to know his new Captain, but when he was invited to join them on the holodeck, he expected something a little more exciting. For him, the prospect felt more like work than relaxation. 

“Every chance we get.” Lancer replied, “We’ve built some pretty complex and fortified structures in the past with moats, machicolations, sally ports. We even built a murder hole once.”

He had no idea what any of those things were, but that last thing he mentioned got his attention. “A murder hole?”

“Let’s not overwhelm the poor man on his first time out.” Burke said, “Give him a chance to get used to how we do things around here first before you start showering him with the lingo.” Burke said with a smile and clapped him on the shoulder.

“Shall we get started, gentlemen?” Hunter asked and they all started forward.

“It’s actually a lot more fun than you think Harry,” Lancer said stepping up to walk with him, seeing the same look he had on his face the first time. “I didn’t think any of it would actually be enjoyable, but once you get into it, you find yourself getting caught up in the details, wanting to complete it. When we were assigned to the Independence, we used to host monthly jousting, swordsmanship and archery contests. Our doctor wasn’t too thrilled about that, but what could he do?

“Commander Burke is also an expert in more than just phaser weapon marksmanship. He’s pretty handy with a longbow. I’ve never seen him miss. He’s won every archery contest he participated in. No one liked going against him, so when he couldn’t attend, we had a plethora of crewmembers show up. However, the Captain here always gave him a run for his money. Almost beat him a couple of times if I remember correctly.”

“The keyword their Lieutenant is almost,” Burke said feigning seriousness. 

Hunter laughed and shot her first officer a humorous look, “I seem to recall my longbow having some major malfunctions by the final rounds. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that would you Mister Burke?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He replied, a slight smile spreading across his lips, “I won those rounds fair and square, and I resent your implication.”

“It’s not an implication if it’s true.” She retorted with a chuckle. “But I guess we’ll never know, will we?” He laughed, unable to stop himself. “So, Mister Kim,” she began once they’d stopped and turned to face him. “What do you know about blacksmithing?”

“Nothing.”

“Then Lancer here will show you the ropes while Burke and I gather the rest of the supplies.”

As he followed him, all Harry could think about was spending time with his new wife Celes, however, she was now part of the Mercury’s security team and currently on duty, giving up on her previous career altogether. It turned out she was quite good at it and loved her new position. Once they got started, Harry began to realize that Lancer was right. As they continued to work and he started getting the hang of it, enjoyed the work a lot more than he thought he would. 

They were forging simple bolts to hold the portcullis together. Folding the iron and shaping it with hand tools. “Now keep an eye on the color of the metal, that’s important,” Lancer said. “As iron heats to higher temperatures, it first glows red, then orange, yellow, and finally white. The ideal heat for most forging is a bright yellow-orange color, that indicates forging heat. Because it's important to see the glowing color of the metal, its why blacksmiths worked in dim, low-light conditions, but it can work in well-lit conditions. The key is to have consistent lighting, but not too bright. Direct sunlight obscures the colors.”

Harry paid close attention to his instructions, and after a while, they’d completed their first bucket of bolts. 

“Mister Kim, are the first bolts ready?” Captain Hunter asked and he nodded. 

“They’re right here.” He replied and tried to lift them up by the handle, but quickly discovered they were too heavy. She smiled and bent down, lifting with her knee’s picked up the bucket and started to turn with it.

“Thanks.” She replied and began walking back to where Burke was waiting.

Harry looked confused and turned his head to see Lancer’s amused expression. “Did she just…”

“Yep, she did.” He replied with a soft laugh, “The Captain might appear to look frail and weak, but don’t let that fool you. If you ever have to go hand to hand, she’s defiantly someone you want to have in your corner.”

“Good to know,” Harry said sounding impressed, also making the realization he really needed to work out more.

“Come on, let’s back to it. These bolts aren’t going to forge themselves.” Lancer encouraged.

Harry turned with a bemused smile and got back to work. 

**Voyager**

Commander Tom Paris was spending time with his daughter and son in their quarters until his wife got off duty. As the fleets chief engineer, she had plenty of work on her hands. Not only did she have the responsibility of maintaining Voyager’s systems but coordinating with the chief engineers of the Hermes and Mercury as well. 

Currently, he had an impossible challenge on his hands, one that would determine if he was the victor or the vanquished. The combined efforts of his children were piled on top of him and making daddy cry out for mercy. 

“Do you surrender?” Miral said with a satisfied look on her young face as she held her father’s arm behind his back. He was currently facing the floor, lying on his stomach. 

His son Michael was spread out across his legs, trying to use his meager body weight to hold him down. If Tom could have seen the look of complete and total determination on his face that was so adorable, he wouldn’t have been able to keep a straight face. 

In a melodramatic voice, he replied. “I’ll never surrender. You know that.”

“Then be ready to accept the consequences.” She said playing along. “Okay Michael,” she called to her brother, “it’s time to deploy the feather of persuasion.”

Michael got to his feet and with as menacing an expression that he could pull off, picked up the foot-long yellow feather that used to serve as the tail for his toy duck, and then moved over to kneel in front of his father’s face. It took everything Tom had not to laugh and stay in character. 

“Okay Captain Proton Daddy, I don’t want to have to use this, but I will if I have to. Surrender or be destroyed.”

“You can’t intimidate me Children of Destruction. Do your worst!”

“If you insist.” He replied seriously and began tickling Tom’s nose with the feather.

“Now talk!” Miral demanded, “or the torture will continue.”

“I’ll never talk!” He replied, fighting the urge to sneeze as Michael pulled the feather away from his nose.

“Very well.” Then she looked to her brother, “Continue!”

He thrust the feather at Tom’s nose again, this time the urge to sneeze was really starting to become too much. “Alright! Alright! You win this time. I’ll talk.” Michael pulled the feather away from his nose. “Mommy’s secret stash of cookies is in the drawer with her nightgowns. But that’s all you are getting out of me!”

The children disappeared with a squeal of delight as they ran into their parent's bedroom. He could hear them opening the drawer and rummage through it. B’Elanna would not be happy about it, but he’d find a way to make it up to her, he always did. “Found it!” Miral cried in victory, then the sounds of the package being ripped open. 

The urge to sneeze was beginning to fade when he first heard, then saw the door open, his wife entering the room looking exhausted. She took one look at him and asked. “What happened to you?”

“The Children of Destruction.”

Her lips began to curve into a half-smile as she walked past him and into the bedroom. “What are you two doing?” She cried and rushed in, seeing her children gorging themselves on her cookie stash and took the package away. “Tom!”

Now he was in trouble. “It’s not as bad as it looks, I’m- “he began walking into the bedroom, and there on the floor were two children in the midst of a euphoric chocolate chip cookie heaven. Both had a cookie in each hand.

She looked back at him, the ripped package in her hands and a Tom I’m going to kill you face. “You told them about my stash?”

“It’s not my fault, I only gave that information under duress.”

“What kind of duress could they have put you under?” She said crossing her arms and tapping her foot.

He gave her a ‘you’ve got to be kidding me’ look. “These are our children, remember?”

She did, the smile making its reappearance. “I suppose it’s not that bad.” She said walking up to him. “It doesn’t look like they got very many, but I’ll need to find a new hiding place, and this time I’m not telling you where it is.” She said giving him a couple of pokes on the chest.

Tom laughed and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close and she allowed it, letting her arms come up to rest around his neck, the package dangling from her hand as they looked into each other’s eyes. “I’m sorry baby, how can I make it up to you?” Then he gave her a soft kiss.

“Well, that’s a start. You’ll have to show me the rest later once the children are asleep.”

“Eww!” Miral cried, “I think I’m going to be sick.” Her parents laughed and kissed each other again.

**Hermes**

An exhausted Kathryn Janeway snuggled up to her husband. Wrapping his arms around her he pulled her in close and kissed her on the forehead. “Long day?” She only released a tired moan and he laughed. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“I enjoy the work, being in the thick of things again, but I’d forgotten how exhausting it can be.” She replied, enjoying the feeling of being in his arms again.

“Well, it’s all over for today. The children missed you tonight at dinner.”

“I’m sorry, I just couldn’t get away. I’ll make it up to them in the morning, we’ll all have breakfast together before they go to school and Eva to daycare. Since we didn’t get finished until almost midnight, Victoria insisted then arranged for my shift to start at zero nine thirty hours. She can be very persuasive and stubborn when she wants to be.”

Chakotay laughed softly. “Sounds like somebody else I know.”

She smacked his leg lightly through the blanket but said nothing, the smile he couldn’t see on her lips betraying her. “I did have an interesting conversation with your first officer a little over two weeks ago, I’d forgotten about until I’d spoken with her again tonight on the way back to our quarters.”

“Oh? What did you two talk about?” He asked interested.

She didn’t answer right away, “It was what she said rather than discussed.”

“What did she tell you?” He asked, his brow furrowed slightly.

Instantly she regretted saying anything, wishing she could take it back, but now that she’d opened that can of worms, she’d have to tell him. First, she replied with a question. “Did you know she claims to have the ability of precognition?”

“No, but I was aware that her race does possess some pretty extraordinary psionic abilities. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was one of them.”

“According to her, it’s not a very common trait.”

“I take it this has something to do with what she told you.” He said.

She nodded against his chest. “She told me that Sobek isn’t suffering from delusions, that the necromorphs are real. I didn’t want to believe it, and I don’t know her well enough to substantiate if there’s any truth to her claim, but at the same time I can’t ignore it.”

“Agreed, it would be foolish to dismiss it entirely, but you’re right to question it.” He said rubbing her arm absently, the both of them lost in the realm of their own thoughts for a moment before he spoke again. “Did she mention anything else?”

She kept silent, debating the wisdom of telling him anything further. 

“Okay Kathryn, spill it.” He said pulling back from her enough that they were looking the other in the eyes. “I know you, she told you something else, and it’s something you don’t want to tell me.”

Damnit, she thought, he knows me far too well. “She did, and yes I didn’t want to mention it because I was hoping to avoid that conversation.”

“Looks like we’re going to have it. So, what was it?”

Rolling onto her back, she closed her eyes as her hand lay next to her on the pillow. She wasn’t ready to have this conversation, didn’t know if she’d ever be ready to have it, but she could no longer avoid it. “She told me…” The words trailed off. 

Chakotay rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow so he could see her face. “Told you what?” He encouraged.

Opening her eyes, she looked at him, seeing the concern forming across his dark handsome features. “She told me I would be pregnant soon, and she seemed very certain about that.”

He said nothing at first. Taking a moment to let her words sink in. “Have you given the idea any thought?”

Her eyes closed again, a hand coming up to her forehead. “I can’t stop thinking about it. Ever since she mentioned it. It was the one thing she said I couldn’t make myself forget as much as I wanted to.”

He seemed perplexed by her statement. “Why would you want to forget it? I’m not sure I understand you on that one.”

Lowering her hand, she looked into his eyes again, confused by his response. “Don’t you? We’re talking about bringing another life into the world. One we’d be putting in danger along with the rest of our children.”

“Kathryn,” he said gently, placing a hand on her stomach, “We made a promise to each other, that we wouldn’t let our personal lives be dictated by our responsibilities to the fleet. That our lives would be our own and lived as separate as they can be from our professional ones.” 

“I know that, but this is different.” She insisted.

“How so?”

She was astonished by his reply. “How…? What do you mean how so? Don’t you see the risk? The negligence in willfully bringing another child into our lives we would be putting in direct danger?”

“You don’t know that. You’re guessing, and it’s not like you. If you don’t want to have another child Kathryn then just say it, don’t hide behind excuses.” He felt himself getting a little angry but forced himself to calm. Nothing good would be served by giving into it. “I’m sorry. I know what you’re saying makes complete sense, and you have every reason to feel this way. I should never have accused you of feeling otherwise.”

She felt herself begin to relax a little after he got her ire up, the apology helping to soothe the situation as she reached up to caress his cheek, a sign of forgiveness. “I know you want another child Chakotay, I’m not oblivious to it, and part of me wants to give you what you want because I love you, and I can see this need you have for a larger family. I can’t help having doubts about it. It’s how I’m wired, and you knew this when you married me. I can’t change who I am because it’s what you want. Understand?”

He nodded, “I do, and I wouldn’t presume to try and change anything about you. You’re the exact woman I fell in love with, but you can be frustrating at times,” then smiled. She returned it as he pulled her in close and rolled them back onto their sides. “I found myself looking forward to the day you’d tell me you were ready. I was almost sure of it, but I’ll get over it.” He said and kissed her on the forehead, “We already have three beautiful children, it’s enough.”

Hearing him acquiescing to her reasons only made her feel worse, not better. She hated to disappoint him; he was only one in a handful of people in the universe who could make her feel as if winning an argument was the same as losing one. She shouldn’t be considering otherwise, all the reasons against the idea were valid. However, when it came to him, to his needs and desires, she often found herself giving in to what he wanted, and this time would be no different. 

She sighed, “Alright, let’s do it.”

“Do what?” He asked, genuinely confused, already having said goodbye to that dream.

“Have a baby.”

“You don’t have to do that Kathryn. I don’t want you to feel as if I’m trying to guilt you into something you don’t want to do.”

“You’re not. I’m doing it because it’s important to you. Besides, if we continue to wait time will make the decision for us. I realize we’re not getting any younger.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle. “Are you trying to say we’re old?”

“No,” she replied with a laugh, “only pointing out that we’re reaching our expiration date when it comes to baby-making.”

“You say the most provocative things sometimes.” He began to laugh earnestly now. She started laughing too, unable to stop herself. Once it died down, he said, “I’ll be right back,” then got up and went over to the dresser. Reaching it, he pulled out two hyposprays and turned to her, she cocked an eyebrow. “Do you remember when I said I was certain you would say yes?”

“I do.” 

“I had the Doctor prepare these for me before we left for Deep Space Nine.” He said and sat down on the bed facing her, “These contain the compound that will neutralize the chemical that’s preventing us from reproducing.”

She shook her head, not really surprised. “You’d better inject me before reason takes over again and I change my mind,” the hint of a smile on her lips.

With a smile on his lips, he injected her, then himself before putting the used hyposprays on the nightstand and rejoined her in bed. Holding her close, he allowed his hand to slide down her body and into her panties, proceeding to slowly rub the sensitive cluster he knew would drive her crazy. She released a soft moan and tried to push herself up higher onto the bed, her head falling back. He kissed the spot below her left ear, which only served to enhance the pleasurable sensation. 

“When I agreed to try for a baby, I didn’t mean tonight.” She moaned softly.

“Do you really want me to stop?” He asked, knowing what her answer would be.

“Don’t you dare.” She replied and ran her hands through his hair. 

Rolling her onto her back, he removed his hand and quickly removed her panties along with his boxers before moving himself on top of her. The comforter still covering their lower half, she pulled his face to hers, kissing him slowly, passionately, before allowing their hands to roam over the other’s body. His hand caressed her breast through the satin nightgown she wore as her hands ran slowly across his back to the nape of his neck. 

She released a moan against his mouth every time his erection rubbed against the sensitive cluster. “Inside me Captain, now,” she whispered, having a little fun.

“Is that an order Admiral?” He asked, playing along.

“Yes,” she confirmed, and he complied by sliding in slowly. Stretching out the process for as long as possible. With a twinkle in her eye, she reached down with both hands and pressed against his bottom, pushing him in the rest of the way with a smile. He laughed softly as he moved slowly against her, shifting his hips in such a way that he knew how to make her really moan. Her body pushed up against him as she released a loud cry, her eyes rolling back in her head, finding herself in a moment of ecstasy and whispered. “Make me pregnant Chakotay. I want your baby inside me.”

The declaration turned him on more than what he already was. Dropping his face into her neck, he slipped his arms under her and grasped the back of her shoulders, moving his hips against her in earnest. 

Sian heard a cry, not knowing where it came from only that it had awoken her from sleep. Looking around the large room, she saw both her brother and sister were present and undisturbed by the sound. Listening, she could hear several, almost inaudible moans coming from outside the room. Getting up, she slid the door open and moved into the living area. The sounds weren’t coming from here, but she could see a light on through the frosted clear aluminum door of her parents’ bedroom, and as she listened, could hear both her mother and father moaning, but not from pain, that she could tell for certain. 

Slowly she crept closer to the door, listening, wondering what they could be doing in there. She heard her mother cry softly, “Oh God, make me come.” Then her father’s soft reply, “You want me to make you come?” She cried out softly again, “Yes, baby. I’ll do whatever you want.” He answered her, starting to sound a little out of breath, “Say my name.” He demanded, “Chakotay,” she cried out weakly, also beginning to sound out of breath. Sian could hear the bed squeaking slightly. “Oh no baby, you don’t get off that easy. Say my name like you mean it.” 

Her curiosity getting the better of her, she began to slide the door open quietly as she heard her mother moan, “I’m gonna come.” Looking inside, it seemed the moment she did saw her father on top of her mother, his hips moving furiously against her as her body pressed hard against him. “Oh, Chakotay.” She said, the words barely audible, her head pressed back against the mattress, her mouth in the shape of a soundless cry as her eyes rolled back in her head. 

As her body began to relax, her father thrust against her as he groaned against her neck. “You’re making me come, Kathryn.” She could hear the sound of air being sucked against teeth as his hips thrust sporadically against her. “That’s my good boy,” her mother cooed, “keep coming inside me.” Her eyes closed with a look of extreme pleasure on her face. Her hands gripping his bare behind. Eventually, his hips stopped moving. Both of them were sweaty and breathing heavily. Immediately she kissed him softly, intimately, lovingly, he kisses her back with equal fervor. 

After a few seconds, their lips parted, and her mother’s head rolled toward the door, eyes closed with a smile on her lips as her father kissed her neck. When her eyes opened, the recognition of who she was seeing made her eyes go wide in shock. “Sian!” She cried, and rolled Chakotay toward her as a barrier, reaching down to quickly pull up the comforter to cover them. Sian withdrew and closed the door quickly. 

Kathryn pressed herself into the mattress, burying her face against it. “Oh my God,” she cried, then turned her face toward her husband, “I can’t believe my eight-year-old daughter just watched me have an orgasm.” She said horrified.

Chakotay rubbed her arm, offering comfort. “Maybe, all we can do is talk to her about it, and hope she’ll understand. It’s not as if I haven’t walked in on my parents before.” He said trying to find any level of humor in the situation. “Haven’t you done that?”

“No thank God.” She answered, just the thought of it made her flush, “I don’t think I could have looked either of my parents the same way again if I had.”

“Then you can probably understand how she’s feeling at the moment.” He pointed out.

She did understand, and felt an overwhelming need to try and explain, circumventing any confusion Sian may be having about what she saw. “Let’s go talk to her,” he nodded. 

Slipping on her robe, Chakotay slipped on his along with the boxers and followed her out. Sitting on the sofa with the lights on, sat their daughter, Sian, looking composed and completely unfettered. “Hello, mother, father. I understand how my sudden appearance in your doorway must have been unsettling. I was curious as to what was happening. I’d never heard either of you speak or behave that way before. I was concerned that something might be wrong.” She said matter-of-factly.

They both stood there, stunned, thinking they were going to find a traumatized young girl, instead, Kathryn was the one who felt traumatized. “How much did you see?” She asked carefully.

“Enough to know that my parents are in love and they make each other happy.” She answered.

“So, none of what you saw or maybe heard bothered you?” Chakotay asked slowly. 

She smiled, “Not at all, however, I wouldn’t want to see it again. I only waited here for you because I knew you would want to talk to me about it, and if I could make either of you feel better about the situation in any way it was the least I could do because I love you.”

Was this the same child who’d been so traumatized by what she saw on New Earth almost two years ago or had someone switched her with a Vulcan child somehow? Kathryn was stunned while Chakotay seemed perplexed by the answer. “If there are no more questions. I’ll be going back to bed now. I’m glad we had this talk. Goodnight.” She said and disappeared back into her room and closed the door. 

“Did she just…?” Kathryn started but couldn’t finish.

“I think she did. She’s apparently fine, but you are the other hand will need more time to recover.” Turning off the lights, he led his confused wife back into the bedroom and closed the door behind them.


	5. Chapter 5

He feared the darkness, knowing that’s when she would come to haunt him with memories of the past, reminding him of his failure to act as a husband and a father. The man in grey would always be with her, silent, observant, menacing. Looking up, he peered through the small barred window, dreading, waiting. The sun was going down, and soon the nightmare would begin anew. 

As the last of the light left the room, he closed his eyes, huddled in the corner. At any moment he would hear her sweet tiny voice. The things she would tell him in that voice were terrifying, and what she showed him was even worse, bringing him one step closer to the mental breakdown he knew was inevitable. 

“Daddy.” She called.

He tried to ignore her; pretend he hadn’t heard her calling him.

“Your friends are waiting. They want you to come out and play.” Then she giggled in that sweet high-pitched sound that used to bring him so much joy.

He squeezed his eyes shut, pushing himself against the wall as tightly as he could. If he could find some way to shut, her out he wouldn’t have to relive that nightmare. That he wouldn’t have to see his friends being brought back to a perverse and unnatural form of life, twisted and grotesque, their mutilated features staring back at him as they came to claim him for their own, relentless and unyielding. His feet getting stuck in the growing fleshy bloody mess that seemed to be creeping in slowly around him on the floor, walls, and ceiling. Oozing in around him and attempting to swallow him up in a sea of flesh and blood. He didn’t want to think about who’s parts they were even though he knew. The left-over parts of his friends, coworkers, and travelers to the station. 

He had crawled through many shafts, circumvented many obstacles to reach his final destination, the shuttle bay. All the while believing he wouldn’t really reach it. That some specter of death would reach out to strike him down, and there was nothing he could do to prevent it. How he managed to survive at all was a miracle he would never be able to explain. 

“Go away, Hasina!” He shouted. “Leave me alone!”

“I can’t Daddy. You made me what I am. You allowed the Borg to take me. Just as I will allow the creatures to take you.” She said, the voice a breath away from his ear.

“NO!” He screamed. “I won’t become one of them! I’ll die first!”

He never heard the door open but did feel the four sets of strong arms lifting him up silently and place him back on his bed. Their combined strength holding him down as they fastened his restraints. “You’re alright Sobek, you’re daughter’s not here. She was taken three years ago by the Borg, remember, aboard the Aeneas along with your wife. Only you survived.”

He pulled against the restraints, the last one going across his chest to keep his torso down and opened his eyes without thinking, not his first or last mistake. Over Doctor Kroxin’s shoulder, he could see the creature reaching for him. The irises of its eyes black, lifeless, and bloodshot. It’s limbs an amalgamation of spare parts, forming an unnatural shape as its body stretched impossibly tall, towering over him. “PLEASE!” He screamed in absolute and unabashed terror. 

“MAKE IT STOP!”

“Try to calm down Sobek.” He said firmly, trying to get through to him, “No one is going to hurt you.” All he could see in his eyes was terror, there was no getting through to him at this point. He was unreachable. Looking to the nurse who’d entered with him, gave a nod, indicating they give him the sedative that would put him to sleep for a while and give his overactive mind a rest. Within a few seconds, the look in Sobek’s eyes began to recede, the terror leaving his face for the moment just before they closed. “That’s it, Sobek, go to sleep.” He encouraged. 

“When did you say those ships would be here Doctor?” The nurse asked gently.

“Ambassador Neelix assures me it will be soon. I hope there is something they can do to help the poor man. He’s been through enough hell already.” He replied compassionately. 

“I’m certain that will be the case.” The nurse assured and put her hand on his shoulder. 

“Thank you Ehiell,” He replied with a smile and patted her hand, “Your optimism, as always, is welcome.”

***

“Why did you interfere with their normal thought processes?” The woman’s voice in her head asked as Senua lay down to sleep. 

“Because you asked.” Came her simple reply.

“I asked you to tell her about the necromorphs, not to influence either of their thoughts in regard to having another child.” It was clear she was none too happy about it. 

“I thought that was what you wanted was it not? To see both of them happy, fulfilled, to enhance their natural desires for one another and to give them all the things you wished for them? What their hearts truly desire and wish for each other?”

There was a sigh. “There is a difference, what you’re doing is reckless and will only put them and the fleet in greater danger. It has to stop. Besides, they are already deeply in love, there is no need to enhance it in any way. And as far as their having another child is concerned, that is a decision they would have come to on their own in time. I do see another child for them, but much further in the future. You have purposefully altered their better judgment in an attempt to draw that decision closer. Why?”

“Because it was what you wanted.” She replied.

The voice was silent for a moment. “It is true that I want that for them, as much as they want it for each other, but I never conveyed that I ever wished for you to interfere with the timing of that decision. From now on, allow nature to take its course in relation to their feelings and only provide them with the information that will help them accomplish their mission. Anything outside of that will happen when it’s meant to. Thankfully, I do not see them with a child as soon as you advised. It should be kept that way.”

“As you wish.”

“I will reach out to you soon. Have a safe journey, my friend.” The woman said warmly and with great affection.

“You too, my friend.” She replied, returning the same degree of feeling. 

Then she was gone, her thoughts her own. Closing her eyes, she focused on the Admiral and the Captain for a moment, using the same abilities she’d used to alter their thought processes and emotions. Knowing that when they awoke, both of them would be having second thoughts about their previous decision to grow their family for the moment, she being the cause of their erratic behavior. She would do as she was asked and allow nature to take its course.

She hadn’t wanted to leave Noss, nor join Starfleet. It was her, the alien woman who had come to their world and showed her there was more to life than the decision of the Convocation of the Nine to become the next Oracle for their people. They had grown close during her time there, forming a connection she’d never experienced with anyone. She had begun to care about the things she cared about, as the woman similarly came to care for the things she did.

Life on her world began to feel smaller than the stories this woman shared. Teaching her that there was more to life than what she’d ever thought or wanted to experience. She had found a lifelong friend in her, a type of kindred spirit, and she would do everything in her power to help her. Wherever that led. 

***

Breakfast with the children felt a little awkward after what happened a few hours ago, mostly on Kathryn’s part. Sian hadn’t indicated or mentioned the incident in any way, and she didn’t know if that was a blessing or an omen. If her daughter was attempting to suppress any confusing or destructive emotions, she needed to find out as soon as possible, and she knew just the person to ask. 

Once Chakotay returned back to their quarters from dropping the kids off at school, he found his wife sitting on the sofa and watching their youngest daughter playing with her interlocking bricks on the floor. He had awoken this morning feeling as though they’d made a dire mistake in attempting to try for a baby right now. All the feelings and reasons she’d expressed earlier about why they shouldn’t running on a continuous loop in his head. 

He had been so certain about it before, even going so far as to have the Doctor synthesize the counter agent just in case. Now he was severely questioning the wisdom of that request or even why he’d done it. When had the need to have another child become so overpowering? All he’d really wanted originally was for Kathryn to consider the possibility, even though the desire was there. 

At the time, before she’d accepted this assignment, wanted to try for a baby knowing she and the children would be safe at home on Earth, her mother nearby if the case for additional help was needed. When had that changed for him? When had the need become so great that it was overriding his good sense? He couldn’t recall the moment as he took a seat next to her, taking her hand in his. 

“You were right.” He said, feeling there was no reason to be anything other than straightforward with her.

“About what?” She asked, turning her head to look at him. 

Meeting her eyes, he replied, “Why we shouldn’t try for a baby right now.”

He saw an immediate and relieved expression on her face, “Thank goodness,” she replied with a nervous laugh, her hand going over her heart, allowing the relief to continue to wash through her. He couldn’t help but laugh at the display of complete and total alleviation, “Because I’ve been sitting here this whole time trying to think of the best way to tell you that we were making a huge mistake.”

“You can at least pretend to sound a little disappointed.” He said, still laughing.

She started to laugh fully now, her hand going from her heart to her stomach. The pressure she had been putting herself under to convey her extreme desire not to go forward with what they had previously agreed upon a few hours ago evaporating. “I’m sorry honey,” she said when the laughter began to ease, “You just have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say that.”

“I have to admit, I feel the same way. I’m not sure what came over me, or when it started to happen.” He agreed.

“What I remember before speaking with Commander Ostad last night is being dead set against the idea. Then after speaking with her, I found myself starting to warm up to it again after we started talking. Letting my feelings for you and what you wanted override my better judgment, and at the time I didn’t question it, I just let it happen.”

“We don’t know much about the Nossican’s psionic abilities, but I don’t see any reason why she would attempt to interfere in our personal lives, or why it would even matter to her. That is if it was even done intentionally on her part.”

“You think it could be some kind of side effect?” She questioned.

“Maybe. There isn’t any clear information on why the last Nossican who served with Starfleet decided to resign their commission and return to their homeworld. Perhaps it may have something to do with their abilities. Some kind of reaction that occurs when they’ve spent too much time among other races who don’t share their unique talents.”

She nodded; both were strong possibilities. “Since she’s your first officer I’m going to leave this in your capable hands. I would like for you to discreetly question her, see if you can gather any information that might provide a definitive answer.”

“Aye Admiral,” he replied with a grin, “I’ll get right on that.”

She found a crooked smile forming on her lips. “I’ll drop Eva off with the caregivers on the way to my office. There are still some things I need to take care of before we meet with Neelix in a few days.” She said, speaking with Tuvok about her daughter being one of those things. “If all goes well, I should be back in time to have dinner with you and the children.”

He nodded before bestowing a soft kiss upon her lips. “I’ll go by sickbay on my way up to the bridge and have him administer my contraception injection. When you find time today, I’d advise you to do the same, hopefully, he’ll won’t find a reason not to.”

“I was feeling pretty good about our situation until you said that. I don’t think I’ll be able to focus until I know for sure, so I’ll stop by and see him this morning.”

“Good idea.”

“And for the record,” she began slowly, “I’m not entirely opposed to the idea of having another child, but I think we should wait and revisit the idea once this is all over.” 

“You took the words right out of my mouth.” He agreed, “We still have plenty of time to decide.”

**Voyager**

Admiral Janeway materialized on the transporter pad alone, her assistant back on the Hermes. She assured her this would be a short visit and would not be in need of her assistance. However, if she needed her for any reason, she could reach out to her. Victoria wasn’t pleased with the idea but there wasn’t a lot she could do about it. 

A security officer was waiting for her, ready to escort her wherever she needed to go. As they headed for the bridge, she thought back to her visit with the Doctor this morning, and his news that she was not in danger of becoming pregnant at the moment before administering her contraception injection, once that was resolved, it allowed her to shift her focus to where it was needed. Right now, it was needed to resolve one last personal matter before they arrived at their destination, New Talax to speak with Neelix and gather more information regarding the man Sobek and any information he may have gathered about these necromorphs he’d mentioned. 

Stepping onto the bridge, the security officer announced her presence. She put the bridge crew at ease as she headed for Tuvok’s ready room, the same one that used to be hers not so long ago. The door opened and she stepped inside, the security officer standing and waiting outside the door. “Captain.” She said stepping up to greet him. 

“Admiral.” He said standing, then gestured for her to have a seat, “I know how fond you are of coffee, may I offer you a cup.”

“Thank you, that would be lovely.” She said taking a seat on the bench sofa he offered under the viewports. Bringing her the beverage, she took a sip as he joined her.

“How can I be of service?” He asked, his hands clasped together in front of him. 

“My visit is strictly a personal one, I have some concerns regarding Sian.”

He appeared curious. “What are your concerns?”

“Ever since she returned from Vulcan, I’ve noticed a change in her that I’m not sure if I should find worrying or if it’s just a normal part of the meditation process.”

“Can you elaborate?” 

“You remember how traumatized she was when she first came to us.” Tuvok nodded, “Chakotay and I have spent a lot of time trying to make sure she was getting the help she needed until she had a major setback and tried to kill herself.” The thought of the memory still had the power to make her throat clench with emotion but forced herself to take a breath to regain control.

“I remember you mentioning the situation to me after her doctor suggested she go to Vulcan and work with a Vulcan Master at the temple of T’Kal.”

She nodded, “Since her return, she’s been different. Calmer, more focused, less emotional, logical. I know how it sounds, but she’s not a Vulcan Tuvok, she’s a human child who’s had to learn to cope with some fairly traumatic events. I worry that she may be using these meditations as a way of avoiding her feelings instead of confronting them.”

He fell silent for a moment in thought before speaking again. “Vulcan children learn from an early age how to recognize and deconstruct their emotions so they can be viewed and processed from a place of reason and logic. Similarly, your daughter has learned to do the same over time. It is logic that has given her the means to confront her most destructive emotions and find a sense of peace within herself.” 

“But is that really healthy for her as a human being to suppress her emotions as Vulcan’s do?”

“The meditations only provide the means in which to analyze emotion from a place of reason and logic, the idea that Vulcan’s suppress emotion is a faulty premise the majority of races whose lives are based on emotion often fail to understand. We learn to recognize the emotional response, and through practice, disarm its ability to control our emotional impulses, thereby allowing one’s own logic to provide an objective perspective. Your daughter has learned to do this from an early age, it is only natural she would continue to approach any emotional situation from this viewpoint.”

She nodded, “Thank you for clarifying that. Knowing how the process actually works does provide a greater understanding as to how her thought processes are perceiving and handling emotion,” then she smiled, “As always Tuvok, I find your counsel most enlightening. Thank you.”

“You are welcome, Admiral. Is there anything further you wish to discuss?”

“Now that you mention it. I wouldn’t mind hearing your perspective on our present dilemma regarding Sobek and the necromorphs he mentioned.” She replied and took another sip of coffee as she leaned back against the sofa bench now that she was feeling more relaxed about the situation with her daughter.

They discussed his thoughts on the subject for about an hour before she made her way back to the Hermes, feeling a renewed sense of purpose. His counsel often brought an enlightened perspective she found herself missing when he wasn’t around, she certainly could have used it more often over the last couple of years. However, she was thankful he was here now to offer it once again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Mithren**

The children of the streets were searching for their next meal and a means of safety for the night. The war which had seemed so far not that long ago had reached into their lives and ripped their parents away from them, introducing something by which they had no means of comprehension. 

The grey man had been invading their dreams, showing them their worst fears and nightmares. Trapping them in a state that bordered on the cationic. Their war with the Botha, the faceless enemy of their parents had now reached into their own lives and continued to remind them of their loss, of what their parents had faced on the Impeteux.

They had been found by a passerby and taken to the temple. The Healer Aya had done all she could for them. It wasn’t until night had passed that the grip which had held them so tightly to their nightmares had been released and they were awoken. Frightened, terrorized, by images they couldn’t begin to understand. All they knew was that death was coming for them, as it had their parents, and the grey man was watching, waiting. 

There was a name for this demon, Marrku. It was a creature who in their ancient texts placed a curse upon the Mithren many centuries ago. That he would invade their dreams and unleash a hell so complete it would consume all life and putrefy its very nature. Most of her fellow citizen’s considered him a myth, a story used to pacify young children into doing what they’re told, but she had always believed the legends. Now it seemed he had returned to enact his curse and take his revenge. 

She had noticed several sores appearing on the children, one’s she had not noticed when they were brought into her care. It was the Rot, an affliction that had once threatened their world many years before, and one that had come and gone as mysteriously as it had appeared. If it was making its appearance again, she would have to report it, and the children would have to be placed into quarantine until they could overcome the disease, or it overcame them. There was no cure.

Notifying Doctor Kroxin, she waited for his arrival and attempted to try and make the children as comfortable as possible. It was unknown if she herself would succumb to the affliction, but with the God Hequt’s blessing, he may find her worthy enough to be spared. She would make the appropriate offering later, along with a prayer for herself and the children. She would pray that his wisdom and divine grace would also spare their world from further harm and put an end to their suffering.

**One week later…**

**Hermes**

“All stop,” Captain Chakotay ordered.

“Aye sir,” the Andorian helmsman Ensign Jhalloss Zh'otyrrak replied.

“Hail the fleet and let them know we’ve arrived at New Talax Ensign Wilder.”

“Aye Captain,” she replied, working the console, “They’re responding.”

“On screen.” 

He saw a face he wasn’t sure he would ever see again. _“Captain Chakotay, you’re a sight for sore eyes,”_ Neelix said with a warm smile.

“Ambassador Neelix, it’s good to see you,” He replied with a smile of his own, “I hope you have some good news for me.” 

_“Terrible news I’m afraid,”_ he answered sadly, _“it appears that the situation has become much worse on Mithren. Whenever you’re ready, I can transport over to your ship to discuss it.”_

He nodded, “The Admiral will be happy to see you, however not for the reason’s which brought us out here.”

 _“I certainly wouldn’t blame her, but I am looking forward to saying hello to a few old friends,”_ a wide smile spread across his lips, always the optimist. 

“Standby for transport. Chakotay out.” He said then ordered, “Notify the Admiral and have her meet me there, then alert Captain’s Tuvok and Hunter and request they transport over as soon as possible for a meeting in the briefing room. Notify Counselor Arthur Hamilton as well,” Wilder nodded. “You have the bridge Commander Ostad.” He said on his way to the turbolift.

“Aye Captain.” 

***

When Neelix shimmered into existence on the transporter pad, Janeway had an immediate smile on her face. She was fond of the Talaxian and missed him terribly. “Admiral Janeway.” He said stepping down to greet her, and she opened her arms to him. 

“It’s good to see you, Ambassador,” she replied affectionally, embracing him in a hug before stepping back to arm’s length then shook the hand Chakotay offered. “Good to see you again Captain.”

He took his hand warmly as replied with a smile, “It’s good to see you too Neelix. How have you been?”

“I’ve been very well. Oxilon was sorry he couldn’t greet you himself.”

“Another time,” Chakotay said with a wink. 

Making their way out of the transporter room, Janeway threaded her arm through Neelix’s and he placed his hand on her arm with a quick smile. “So,” she began as they talked down the corridor toward the turbolift. “How are Dexa and Brax?”

“They’re well. We just celebrated the birth of our daughter Alixia a few months ago.” He said proudly.

Janeway gave his arm a squeeze with a soft cry of delight, “Oh, congratulations. I’m sure she’s beautiful.”

“Perhaps you and the Captain can meet her next time.”

“I would love that.” She replied, still smiling. 

He allowed silence to pass between them for a moment. “I understand that you and Captain Chakotay have married. And that you have three children?”

She gave a nod of confirmation, “Yes, and I know the math doesn’t work out, does it?”

“No.” He answered with a soft laugh.

Reaching the turbolift, the three of them stepped inside. “Deck one,” Chakotay said and the lift hummed to life. 

As the doors began to close, she shot her husband a pleading look and answered, “That’s a long story.” Chakotay gave her an amused smile. 

*** 

Inside the briefing room, Captain’s Chakotay, Tuvok, and Hunter, along with Admiral Janeway were giving Neelix their rapt attention, her assistant Victoria stood behind her taking notes. Once they introduced Hunter and Hamilton to him and he was able to greet Tuvok who continued to regard the Talaxian with the same level of emotional detachment he always had, got started.

“The situation on Mithren is beginning to become a little more desperate, especially now that an affliction they called the Rot has resurfaced after many years of absence,” Neelix said.

“Charming,” Janeway said with mild annoyance. Of course, nothing was ever as easy as she’d hoped.

“The Rot?” Hunter questioned.

“Yes,” he replied, considering how best to describe it, “From my understanding, it’s a disease that affects the immune response of the host, changing the body in such a way that it begins to attack itself and making the person susceptible to any number of infectious agents. At the moment, they still haven’t developed a cure for it. However, I’m not sure how or if it will affect any races other than the Mithren’s. I do know that it is only spread through touch and appears to attack any new hosts at random. Doctor Kroxin is treating a group of young children whose parents were killed on the Impeteux and have been living on the street over the last couple of months, poor things.” 

“Where are the children being housed?” Chakotay asked.

“In the same facility that Sobek is being treated,” Neelix answered.

“That may prove to make the current situation more difficult,” Tuvok said.

“How long have they been kept in proximity of Sobek?” Janeway questioned.

“A little over a week from what I’ve been told, but I’ve also been advised that if he were going to be suffering any adverse effects from the exposure, he would have already been showing symptoms. Currently, he’s still in good health, except for the delusions of course.”

“What more can you tell us about his condition?” Hamilton asked curiously. 

“He’s apparently been prone to night terrors prior to his stint on the space station. Four years ago, he was serving as an engineer on a ship called the Aeneas. The where attacked and the entire crew was assimilated by the Borg, his wife, and daughter amongst them.”

“The man can’t seem to catch a break. That’s an awful lot of tragedy for one man to bear.” Chakotay said compassionately. 

Neelix agreed, “The incident aboard the Impeteux hasn’t helped matters. He claims to be receiving nightly visits from his daughter Hasina who’s always accompanied by a man in a hooded grey uniform who silently watches while she conjures up any number of unnatural creatures formed by the parts of the station's former inhabitants.”

Janeway’s eyes went slightly wide in remembrance, “The painting,” she whispered.

“Admiral?” Hamilton questioned.

“Almost a year ago, my son Asa painted a portrait of a man in a grey hood who he claimed he dreamt of. It just seems like too much of a coincidence for the two not to be related somehow.” She explained.

“Do you think there’s any way we could get a better description of the man he’s describing? A drawing perhaps?” Chakotay asked Neelix.

“I’m not sure, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask Doctor Kroxin about it. He’s also been the one treating Mister Sobek.” Neelix answered.

“Is there anything else you can tell us Ambassador that could shed any further light on the necromorphs he mentioned?” Tuvok asked.

“Only that they were formed by the parts of the dead inhabitations of the station and can apparently regenerate any missing limb rather quickly. From what I’ve been learning over the last month while you were making your way here, standard weapons don’t seem to be very effective. The vacuum of space doesn’t seem to affect them either. Sobek described one of his encounters with Doctor Kroxin, citing that he had managed to disable one of them for a short while with some type of plasma cutting tool, but the creature had already begun regenerating as he was making his escape.”

“It sounds like we might have to try and capture one of these creatures in order to see what measures need to be taken to put one of them down for good.” Hunter reasoned.

None of them liked the sound of that.

“Before deciding on any further course of action. I believe our next move should be to speak with Mister Sobek and have Counselor Hamilton conduct an interview in order to determine how much of his story we can corroborate with any evidence the Mithren’s may have collected. Either from the station's sensor logs and video recordings or the means, he used in order to make his escape.” Janeway stated. “Once Ambassador Neelix has returned to New Talax. I want to set a course for the fleet to go to Mithren.” She said looking to Chakotay.

“I’ll see it done Admiral.” He replied.

“Dismissed.”

***

Before the fleet continued, Lieutenant Commander B’Elanna Torres wanted to take the slipstream drives offline for maintenance considering they’d just been running them nonstop for a month. Getting permission to switch to warp drive, she had each chief engineer of their respective ships run diagnostics on their drives, delaying their arrival to Mithren by five days. The Admiral agreed with her suggestion, not wanting to push the engines further and leaving them in a position where they wouldn’t be able to access them when needed. 

Commander Ostad felt the decision was sound. She hadn’t seen the Admiral until they were three days in, having confined her presence to her offices or in other parts of the three ships. When she arrived on the bridge, being the consummate professional she never let on that something was wrong. She was working at the science station, going over the last set of scans they’d taken of the area. Senua hadn’t spoken to her directly or even gave more than a passing glance once she arrived. 

She had been speaking with Hermes Security Chief Lieutenant Dudun Voi, a Betazoid, over a few concerns he had about the combat readiness of his staff in case they were needed to face any unexpected encounters and wanted permission to begin setting up some combat training scenarios on the holodeck. She couldn’t fault the wisdom of his approach, so she granted the request. When he left, there was a beep from her console. Leaning toward it, it was a note from Victoria, asking her to keep an eye on the Admiral this morning. She didn’t appear to be feeling well and wanted to make sure someone was able to keep an eye on her up on the bridge. She acknowledged the concern before deleting the message. 

_“Chakotay to Ostad. Please report to my ready room.”_

“Aye Captain.” She said having opened the connection before closing it. Standing, she turned to the operations officer Ensign Renee Wilder and said, “Ensign, you have the bridge.” When she did, made a point of glancing over to the Admiral at the science station nearby.

Immediately she noticed that Victoria’s concerns had been justified. The Admiral had a pained expression on her face as if she were experiencing a severe headache but trying to pretend it didn’t exist. Her skin looked paler than normal, almost as if she appeared ill. She decided to approach her before heading to the Captain’s ready room. 

Tapping her com badge, “Janeway to Seven.” 

_“Yes Admiral,”_ Seven replied.

“Send me all the data you’ve collected regarding Mithren space and reroute it to the science station on the bridge.” She ordered.

_“Sending it now. Seven out.”_

“Admiral, I don’t mean to disturb you.” She spoke softly.

Janeway looked up at her, squinting slightly as if the light hurt her eyes. “What can I do for you, Commander?”

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” She replied and looked back to the console. 

She paused, visually accessing her condition before responding. “Forgive me Admiral, but you do not appear well.”

Janeway tried to laugh it off, but the woman was right, she wasn’t. She’d woken with a headache three days ago, and as time wore on it seemed to be getting worse, not better. “It’s just a headache,” She finally admitted, “I’ll be fine Commander. However, I do appreciate your concern,” then gave a slightly strained smile. 

“Perhaps you should go to sickbay and have the Doctor take a look. A consistent headache isn’t something I would recommend dismissing. It is usually a sign that something more serious may be occurring that should be addressed.” 

She thought about it for a moment before realizing she was right; she shouldn’t be putting her health at risk when she had a fleet to oversee along with the welfare of three crews and children to care for. Sometimes she needed to be reminded that some of her choices didn’t just affect her anymore. “Alright Commander, I’ll take your suggestion.” Then began to stand up. She swayed the side slightly and placed a hand on the console to steady herself. 

Ostad’s arm automatically reached out to steady her, and when it did, saw something flash in her mind's eye she found confusing. “Ensign Cole,” she called to the officer at tactical, “Please escort the Admiral to sickbay.”

“Aye Commander.”

Janeway didn’t protest as she allowed the man to escort her into the turbolift under her own power at this point, and Senua turned to head into Chakotay’s ready room. 

When she entered, Chakotay was holding two beverages and greeting her with a friendly smile. “I apologize for my tardiness. I was just recommending to the Admiral that she should go to sickbay.”

He cocked his head and indicated she join him on the sofa bench. “Did she listen to you?”

“Yes.”

He seemed a little amazed when he sat down and offered her a cup, “I’ve been telling her that for almost three days now. You didn’t happen to use any of your talents in order to get her to agree, did you?” He asked jokingly as she took the cup he offered and sat beside him, “It’s coffee, I’ve noticed you seem to enjoy the beverage as much as my wife does.”

“I would never presume to use my talents to manipulate someone,” She answered then looked down at the cup, knowing that was a lie, “I have grown fond of it over the last couple of years, I’m not sure why. I find the taste almost foul.” she answered and looked up to meet his eyes fully. When that happened, the flash she saw after her brief touch of the Admiral appeared again and nearly dropped the cup in her hands.

“Are you alright?” He asked suddenly concerned, reaching out to keep her from spilling the hot beverage on herself.

“Yes, sir.” She answered and gave him a slight smile, having learned that most races, humans, in particular, found the gesture disarming.

“Don’t let my wife hear you say that.” He laughed gently and took a sip of his tea.

“Say what?” She replied, appearing distracted, it did not go unnoticed.

“What you really think about her favorite beverage,” He answered, then allowed a moment to pass. “Something on your mind Commander?”

“I was wondering why you wished to see me.”

“I thought since we had a little time before reaching Mithren, we might try to get to know each other a bit. We will be working together for the next year at least.”

She didn’t reply right away. Her feelings regarding the Admiral, Captain, along with their children weren’t coming from her, they had been infused into her psyche by someone she had come to care for deeply. So, in turn, never even having met them, came to care for them in the same way she had. 

He sensed her reluctance and said, “You don’t have to worry, you can speak freely.”

“Do you really mean that Captain?” She questioned.

He seemed a little taken aback, “I wouldn’t have said it otherwise.”

“I have often found during my time among other races, most will say one thing but mean another. It is a concept I am still attempting to master as to when someone is speaking the truth or not.”

“I can tell you that I don’t often say things I don’t mean. When it does happen it’s usually because I’m upset, and I haven’t thought about what I’ve said completely through. In this case, however, I can assure you I meant exactly what I said.”

She cocked her head to the side in thought. “Has the Admiral mentioned my ability to see future events to you?”

“She has,” he answered slowly, surprised that she would be the one to broach the topic, but kept his face neutral, “Is that a problem?”

“No.”

He nodded and took a sip of tea, “She did mention the two predictions you shared with her.”

“Did she also mention that once I’ve revealed any premonition there is a good chance it will alter the event, perhaps change the outcome?”

“She failed to mention that.”

“The vision I had about Sobek and his so-called delusions about the necromorphs was not false. He did see them. It was not induced by previous trauma.”

“She mentioned that.” He replied and allowed his thoughts to drift for a moment before asking, “What about the other?”

“The prediction I had about your wife becoming pregnant soon?”

“Just between us, the Admiral and I have taken steps to prevent that from happening.” He said sounding fairly confident.

Meeting his eyes fully she replied, “Are you attempting to ask me in some way if I still see that as a possibility?”

Most of him didn’t really want to know the answer, but the way she was looking at him changed his mind. “I suppose I am.”

She thought about it for a moment. Considered the information he’d provided about their having taken measures to prevent an unexpected or even unwanted pregnancy. Her conversation with her dearest friend about how she did not see them with a child in the near future. She had never been wrong. However, the vision she received after her brief contact with the Admiral, and the one she had gotten when she’d locked eyes with the Captain moments ago only left her feeling apprehensive and confused.

Meeting his eyes again she replied. “I still see it as an inevitability.”

Chakotay’s heart felt as if it were about to stop beating in his chest as his pulse continued to race. The thought of Kathryn pregnant right now didn’t seem possible. The Doctor had scanned her and provided the contraceptive injection. He wouldn’t have done that if she were pregnant. So why did he still have this horrible sinking feeling that what Senua had just revealed was true?

“I have to ask you something, and it is my hope you will be completely honest with your answer.” He asked seriously, quietly.

“Of course,” she answered with caution. 

“Is my wife…the Admiral in charge of this fleet, pregnant?”

She didn’t know how to answer that, or if she should. Sometimes responding with silence was the best answer. However, she did promise to be completely honest with him and replied simply, “Yes.”


	7. Chapter 7

It just wasn’t possible. He had scanned and assured her she wasn’t pregnant before giving her the injection. How could this happen? How could the error have occurred? She understood that what she’d allowed herself to do with her husband over a week ago could certainly have resulted in pregnancy, in fact, at the time that was the intent. The next morning, however, both of them had realized the error of that decision and took the appropriate action to prevent it. Now it felt as if she were being punished again for a lack of better judgment. Reminding her once again that no deed ever went unpunished.

“I’m sorry, Admiral. There was no reason to believe that that particular medical tricorder was malfunctioning.” The Doctor said, he felt awful about what that scan had led them to believe, therefore allowing him to administer the injection that would prevent pregnancy and cause the headache she’d been experiencing for the last three days. The flood of hormones conflicting with the compound. “Let me assure you that taking any kind of contraception while pregnant will not harm the fetus but can cause a variety of non-lethal side effects within the mother, this being the culprit of your headache.”

She couldn’t make herself believe this was really happening, she had to be lost in a dream that had turned into a nightmare of a situation rather quickly. This was the last thing she needed right now, and she had only herself to blame for it. She thought she might be physically sick at the thought of spending the rest of this mission contending with a pregnancy that shouldn’t have happened. But had it really been all she and Chakotay’s fault? They had suspected Commander Ostad with having something to do with enhancing their desire to try for a baby. The coincidences lining up a little too perfectly to ignore.

“Admiral?” The Doctor questioned in concern. She hadn’t heard a word he said. 

“Yes Doctor,” she answered finally, turning her head to look at him. 

“I asked about how you’re feeling.”

“My headache is gone,” she answered absently.

“I’m pleased to hear it, but I was asking about your pregnancy.” He replied concerned by her behavior, “I take it by your reaction that you’re not completely thrilled about it.”

She wasn’t but didn’t answer. “Thank you, Doctor, am I able to leave now?”

He nodded, knowing she was trying to deflect the topic, which she often did when it came to something she didn’t want to discuss. “I think you should speak with Counselor Hamilton about your feelings on the matter, along with your husband.”

“This is a private matter. There’s no need to discuss it with anyone other than my husband.” She answered, doing her best to hide the conflicted expression she was trying to suppress.

“I understand Admiral, and I apologize if you feel I’m overstepping my bounds, but this isn’t something you can continue to hide from the rest of the fleet. Eventually, everyone is going to notice.” He pointed out. “When they do, I don’t want you feeling unprepared for any questions they might ask.”

“I am perfectly capable of doing my job Doctor. Being pregnant doesn’t change that.” She was almost defensive by the thinly veiled implication. 

“I realize that, but there may be some who are not. I urge you to consider the suggestion further. Besides, what harm could it do to speak with someone about your feelings? To have someone provide themselves as a sounding board for any concerns you might have. That you may feel your husband couldn’t be objective about considering how close he’ll be to the situation.” He reasoned.

It did make sense, but she was a long way from just opening herself up to a stranger right now. If Deanna were here, she would have immediately sought her out, but she was light-years away and out of reach. Until she came to terms with the knowledge of her circumstances, she wasn’t prepared to speak with anyone about it, including her husband. As much as she didn’t want to be separated from Chakotay or the children, she needed to spend a day or two on her own. Get used to the idea that she was about to embark on another life-changing journey. 

As if on cue, her assistant Victoria entered the room. “Are you alright Admiral?” She asked, appearing worried.

“Can you give us a moment Doctor?” Janeway asked. 

“Of course,” he replied and headed into his office. 

When he was gone, she looked to Victoria, “I’m going to be heading over to the Mercury for the next couple of days. Please inform Captain Hunter of my arrival, and let my husband know where I’ll be going. You’ll need to make arrangements for both of us to transport over.”

“Right away Admiral.” She acknowledged, then left. 

**Mercury**

Harry was lying in bed holding his wife Celes firmly in his arms. It was the first time in a long time he felt happy, that there was more to his life than just being in Starfleet. At the moment she was asleep, and their lovemaking mind-blowing as far as he was concerned. They had decided upon getting home they would begin starting a family as long as their relationship continued to say as strong as it was now. 

He found himself looking forward to starting a family with her, and he wanted to have at least two children, remembering what it was like being an only child. In many ways, it was wonderful to always have his parent’s attention, but at the same time felt extremely lonely not having someone around his own age to pal around with. He didn’t want that for his own children. If she wanted more, he was happy to accommodate her up to a point, not wanting to end up with a family of four or more. 

Celes shifted in his arms, at first, he thought she was about to wake up until she began to struggle against him as if she were fighting against some invisible foe. He called her name, and if she’d heard it, either couldn’t or wouldn’t respond. She was flailing her arms and legs wildly as if she were trying to get away from something, an expression of pure terror. She’d given him a couple of really good smacks to the jaw as he tried to pin her down, making him see the array of an indoor stellar nursery for several seconds. “Open your eyes baby! It’s me, Harry! You’re safe!” He cried in a panic.

She continued to struggle for a while longer, and he was quickly reaching his wit's end. He didn’t know what had induced this behavior or why it was happening before she suddenly went limp and unresponsive. Grabbing his com badge from the nightstand he pressed it. “Kim to transporter room two, medical emergency. Transport myself and Ensign Tal directly to sickbay.” The next thing he saw was the familiar surroundings of sickbay and the face of Mercury’s chief medical officer Doctor Karen Corbin rushing toward him.

***

“I have no explanation for it Captain, but she appears to be trapped in the lower delta waveband where we begin to dream. It’s as if something were holding her there.” Doctor Corbin explained, finding the situation baffling.

“Lieutenant Kim, what were you and your wife doing prior to this event?” She asked, wondering if something they’d done or experienced previously contributed to this condition.

Harry blushed, “We ahh…were…making love Captain,” he answered finally, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. 

She gave a hint of a smile. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about Lieutenant. You’re a young married couple, I’d be surprised if you weren’t. However, I know how uncomfortable the topic can be, but can you think of anything that might have happened this evening that could have caused this?”

“Any new food you may have tried, any behavior that may have seemed unusual?” Doctor Corbin asked, trying to find any connection, no matter how innocuous.

“No, nothing. It was a perfectly normal evening.” He said thinking back. “We had dinner, one of her mother’s favorite recipes. Then we caught up on reports for about an hour before watching a vid, Casablanca starring Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman and ate popcorn. Afterward…well you know the rest.” He finished, finding himself blushing again at the reminder. It wasn’t like she or any of their shipmates weren’t aware of their extra-curricular activities, but he wasn’t exactly advertising them either. 

“I appreciate your honesty, and I hope you can understand the reason why I asked.” She said gently. 

“I do.” He admitted, but it was still uncomfortable, nonetheless.

The door to sickbay opened and another crewman was being carried in by their partner, also unresponsive. Doctor Corbin began to scan them as soon as they were on the biobed. “What happened?” She asked. 

“I don’t know, we were asleep, and she began to start thrashing around then fell unconscious.” The young man said in a panic. “What’s wrong with her?” He asked desperately.

Before she could answer, another person, this time male was being transported into sickbay due to a medical emergency. Looking up at her Captain as she moved to begin scanning the man said, “Notify the Admiral, it appears we’re about to have a serious problem.”

Joanna groaned inwardly. It was the last thing she wanted to do. “Understood.”

***

Admiral Janeway was still half asleep after Victoria awoke her, notifying her of the waiting com from Captain Hunter. “Put her through,” she said looking over at the chronometer. It was just after zero four hundred. 

_“I apologize for waking you at this time Admiral, but we appear to have a situation I need to make you aware of,”_ Hunter said.

“What is it?” She asked, still trying to wake herself up as she began to swing her legs over the edge of the bed and onto the floor. 

_“We’ve had a total of eighteen crewmembers fall unconscious thus far, all of them appear to be trapped in some kind of low delta wave band that Doctor Corbin can’t awaken them from. She’s beginning to become inundated with more crewmen being brought in or transported to sickbay, and that’s only the ones we know about,”_ She advised. 

“Does she have any idea as to what’s causing it?” Janeway asked, struggling to wake up as if something were trying to keep her there.

_“Not at this time, but we are working toward a solution. I’ll let you know when we know anything further.”_ Hunter assured.

“Tell the…” she began then found herself losing her train of thought, unable to focus. Her eyes began to close as she fell back limp across the bed. 

_“Admiral?”_ Hunter questioned, _“Admiral Janeway are you there?”_ She knew something was wrong. Breaking the connection, she tapped her com badge again and ordered the transporter room to transport the Admiral directly to sickbay. When she shimmered into view, she was unconscious like the others. “Get her to a biobed,” Hunter ordered the two nurses and they obeyed. “Hunter to bridge.”

_“Yes Captain,”_ Came her first officer Daniel Burke’s voice. 

“Stop the fleet and contact Captain’s Tuvok and Chakotay, let them know we have a major problem and that they need to transport over to the Mercury right away.”

_“Yes, Captain. Should I inform the Admiral?”_

“No need,” She replied a touch of dread in her voice, “She’s already here, unconscious.” 

Joanna liked the Admiral’s husband and thought he was a nice guy and a capable leader, but he was not going to be happy about this. She really didn’t want to have to be the one to tell him, but that was, after all, part of the job. Sometimes you just don’t get to avoid the bad parts.

***

Tal Celes found herself running through a maze of unknown corridors, all of them slick with a substance she didn’t recognize, but deep down had a pretty good idea of what it was. She didn’t want to consider the possibility, to acknowledge it would only confirm its existence. There was a sound up ahead, a scraping of metal on metal. She crept closer, falling back on her tactical training to try and move into the best position possible that would give her the advantage. 

The sound was emanating further down the corridor and around the corner. Slowly she crept forward, her eyes trying to focus on the shapes in the dim artificial light. When she’d almost cleared the corner, there were two shapes, a man and a woman. She could hear them speaking to each other in low hushed voices. Carefully, she made her way closer in an attempt to overhear their conversation. This was the first time she’d ran into anyone in hours other than those creatures since she arrived. 

“Keep trying,” The woman said, her voice authoritative, self-assured.

“It’s not working,” The man replied calmly, his fingers attempting to manipulate something on the wall. 

“If we’re going to protect ourselves, we’ll need those weapons.” She stated as if he didn’t quite grasp the seriousness of the situation. 

“I understand that Admiral,” the man replied, seemingly not having taken any offense to her insistent tone, “but it’s not responding, it's almost like it’s been encrypted, and if you have any new decryption algorithms hiding in your pockets I don’t think we’re getting there.”

“Sorry, I must have left them in my uniform back on the Mercury.” She replied sounding slightly amused before releasing a sigh, “There has to be a way to get in there that we haven’t tried yet. Maybe we’re going about this all wrong.”

“Admiral?” He questioned.

“Perhaps there’s another way,” She said directing his attention above them, “I’ve noticed there are vents in the ceiling beginning at every junction. If we could access one of those, we may be able to crawl our way into that room.”

“They’re not wide enough for someone my size to fit through.” He pointed out, “And I apologize for stating the obvious, but you’re not exactly dressed for the job.” He said, drawing her attention back to the thin satin nightgown she was wearing. 

She didn’t appear to be embarrassed or deterred by the observation, “What choice do we have Commander? We need those weapons.”

“I can do it,” Celes said quietly, startling them both. She had managed to move up close to them without their knowledge and stood up. 

“Ensign Tal?” Burke questioned.

“Yes Commander, Admiral, I’m sorry I didn’t make my presence known sooner. I wasn’t sure if what I was seeing was real or not.”

“I understand, and you were wise to apply caution,” Janeway assured.

Celes smiled at the compliment, “I’m fairly certain I could make my way through the service tunnels, I seem to be more appropriately dressed than yourself Admiral, no offense.”

“None taken,” she answered, noticing the tank top and pajama bottoms she wore. 

“I’ll lift you up and you can stand on my shoulders to reach the vent while the Admiral continues to keep an eye out,” Burke said. 

Celes nodded and they carefully made their way to the vent.

“What do you suppose this stuff is?” Burke asked as they trudged through the slimy mess. 

“Sometimes it’s best not to ask too many questions,” Janeway replied keeping a lookout.

“Okay we’re here,” Burke said, “I’ll give you a boost and you can climb up onto my shoulders.” Celes gave him a nod and they got started. 

“Kathryn...” A voice called from far away like they were in trouble.

“Did you hear that?” Janeway asked.

“Hear what?” Burke said under some strain as held Celes on his shoulders.

“That voice. It sounds like someone needs help.” She replied taking a step forward, looking out into the darkened end of the corridor. It seemed to be where the voice was coming from.

“Kathryn Janeway…” It called again, more desperate. She could almost recognize it. 

“Someone is calling me.” She whispered, her eyes searching for a visual sign.

“I got it, push me up,” Celes said, her fingers finding the lip of the opening and grasped it as Burke put down his hand's palms up and allowed her to step onto them so he could lift her up higher. He groaned under the strain, just as she groaned pulling herself up the rest of the way. 

“What can you see in there?” He asked looking up.

“The vent seems to be clear from what I can tell. I’ll make my way over to the room. I’ll need to you to signal me somehow, so I don’t go past it.” She replied.

“Ahh,” he said thinking, “Move a few feet down the vent and tell me if you can still hear me.” 

“Okay,” she said and moved forward. 

Moving forward with her he asked, “Can you still hear me?” He didn’t want to say it too loudly, in order to avoid unwanted attention. 

“Yes.” She answered, “I can hear you.”

“Good…” He looked back to where the Admiral was standing, but she wasn’t there. “Where did she go?”

“Who?”

“The Admiral. She’s gone.” He said looking around, staring as far as he could down each corridor. “I’ve got to find her. It’s not safe here.”

“Commander let’s get the weapon’s first. If she’s in trouble, we’ll need them.” Celes countered.

He found himself battling against his nature to provide immediate assistance or wait until he was better prepared. Celes’ reasonable suggestion won out in the end. “You’re right. Let’s get the weapons first.”

***

Captain Joanna Hunter had learned quickly that it wasn’t just the Mercury who was having the issue, it was the entire fleet. Both Captain’s Chakotay and Tuvok were unconscious along with just about the entire crew of all three ships. She’d lost contact with Commander Burke over an hour ago, and when she’d gone up to the bridge after failing to reach anyone else there, realized very quickly that all of them were unconscious.

She sent out a general call to all three ships, trying to get anyone’s attention who might still be awake. The first person who responded was a voice she had not been expecting. The voice sounded young, female, with a strange type of staccato she’d only heard in Vulcan’s. “Who are you?” She asked, trying to hide the surprise in her voice.

_“Sian Janeway.”_

The Admiral and Captain’s daughter, she thought, “Where are you?”

_“On the bridge. There’s no one here. I started to investigate when I could not wake my brother, sister, or father. What are your instructions, Captain?”_ She asked perfectly calm as if the entire situation was well in hand.

“Have you located anyone else?”

_“Negative.”_ She replied.

The way the child spoke only served to increase the awkwardness of the conversation. “Stay where you are for now and keep this channel open. I’m going to see if I can locate anyone else.”

_“Understood.”_

She began trying to hail the engineering sections of both Voyager and Hermes, her own engineering team having already succumbed to this deathlike sleep. After an intolerable silence, she finally received an answer to her hail. 

_“This is Commander Ostad. I hear you, Captain.”_

Relieved she replied, “It’s good to hear your voice Commander. What is the condition of your crew?”

_“Everyone I have encountered thus far is unconscious. I have been unable to rouse them.”_

“It’s the same here. Do you have any idea what might be causing it?”

There was a pause. _“I do sense another presence, but I have been unable to localize it.”_

“Telepathically?” She questioned.

_“Yes, Captain. I am attempting to narrow down their location, but I do believe they are close by.”_

“Keep me informed and leave your com channel open. I’m going to try and keep reaching out to Voyager and see if I can raise anyone there. Also, the Admiral and Captain’s daughter Sian is on the bridge, you may want to keep her close to you.” She advised.

_“Acknowledged.”_

***

When Janeway looked behind her both Burke and Tal were gone, and there was no sign they had ever been present. Had she imagined them? She didn’t think so, their presence had felt too real to be a dream. Somehow, she was being cut off from them. 

“Mommy!” That sounded like Asa’s voice, and he was frightened.

“I’m coming, Asa!” She called back, “Stay where you are! I’ll find you!”

“Kathryn! Where are you?” It sounded like Chakotay, coming from another direction. 

“Ma! Ma!” Eva’s voice.

“Mother? Mother, I’m here.” Sian’s voice.

They were all coming from different directions. It became apparent rather quickly that whoever was behind this was trying to confuse her, use the voices of her family against her. She wasn’t going to play that game, feeling anger for having the people she loved used to manipulate her emotions. She began to head back the way they came with renewed purpose. If she ever found who was responsible, she’d make them pay dearly for their mistake. 

Behind her came a loud piercing scream, startling and causing her to immediately turn toward the sound. Her heart began hammering in her chest, the anxiety deeply rooted and potent. Her mouth had gone inexplicably dry, her body numb with fear. Before her now stood the hooded man in grey, and it was only then she not only recognized him but saw who he was holding. Her daughter Eva, a knife to her throat.

Holding up her hands to show she was unarmed, she eyed him cautiously, fearfully. She didn’t know precisely if this was an illusion or if he actually did have her daughter trapped in here with her and was unwilling to gamble on that chance. “Please, let her go. We can talk about this.” She stated with as much calm as she could considering the circumstances. 

“You escaped me once, years ago. I haven’t forgotten,” He replied softly, “I knew when your crewmember turned my abilities against me, you’d be my death. I should have killed all of you when I had the chance. I won’t make that mistake again.”

That was a hard place to begin a negotiation, “We can talk about this. No one has to die, including you. Can’t you see she’s frightened.”

He smiled widely, appearing confident, “As she should be.”

The memory of their encounter was beginning to become clearer the more she stared into his face. He was the Bothan who had been using his psionic abilities to make the entire crew, including herself, see their loved ones and drawing them further into a fantasy he’d created. She remembered seeing Chakotay standing still and unblinking in the turbolift after she’d sent him down to engineering, never having made it, surrendering to his own delusions. 

She remembered how she’d seen Mark in the turbolift, how he’d tried to kiss her neck and how she’d resisted, knowing it couldn’t be him. Someone was trying very hard to manipulate her feelings, using the memory of the character from her holodeck program who’d kissed her earlier, wounding and twisting her own conflicted feelings about it. She had still been in love with Mark at the time, missed him, needed him. 

Slowly, she remembered how she’d turned and lifted her head to stare into his eyes after he’d accused her of enjoying and allowing the character on the holodeck to kiss her, moreover that she’d even liked it. She told him she hadn’t been unfaithful, and they’d shared a kiss of forgiveness before she’d taken him back to her quarters in a torrent of want and desire to make love with him for the next several hours. He’d manipulated her then too, using her feelings of loneliness and love for her fiancé at the time to consume all reason and forget what was absolutely critical at that moment. Protecting her crew. Now he was doing it again, only in a different way. She had to find a way to end this. To stop him from reaching whatever conclusion he had in mind. 

She wasn’t feeling fear any longer, it was a wave of slow-burning anger that flashed in her eyes, and it didn’t go unnoticed. The menacing smile he was sporting had begun to falter slightly, becoming less confident. Dropping her arms to her sides she spoke in a low deep dangerous tone which left no doubt as to how she now felt about the situation now, “If you hurt my daughter, my family, or any member of this fleet I will hunt you down, and the screams you’ll produce will be heard throughout the quadrant.” She took a step forward, causing him to take a step back, “I will make you cry out in pain until you’re begging me for death.” She continued to step forward, each step taken with more purpose, causing him to retreat further, “I will continue to hurt you while you pray to whatever deity you choose in those moments to ease your suffering. You will know fear before the end. Do not test my patience. It may be long but it’s not infinite.”

“Stop!” He commanded and held the knife a little closer to Eva’s neck. She complied for the moment. Her anger may have been evoked but her reason was still very much intact. “You forget yourself,” he continued, projecting a bit more confidence, his anger rising to match hers, “I didn’t come here to exchange threats with you Admiral. I came because you have something I want, and I will not leave until I get it.”

Taking in a long slow deep breath, she continued to lock eyes with him, trying to enforce a level of calm within herself, “What is it you want?”

“That,” He said, pointing at her stomach with the knife in his hand, “Your child.”

When she looked down, her stomach had grown impossibly large in a very short length of time. She moved her hands to cover and protect it, confused by the alteration. “You can’t have it,” She answered without a thought, the reaction immediate. 

“I wasn’t asking,” He reminded. “Once I have it, I will go. You were already concerned about how your pregnancy would affect your command of the fleet. You weren’t even willing to discuss it with your husband, you just ran as far as you could away from him, unwilling to face the consequence of confrontation.”

“Get out of my head!” She demanded, “I will not allow you to turn and twist my thoughts against me!”

“I will have the child Admiral, and by the time I do you might even thank me for taking him off your hands.”

Him? She thought. “I wouldn’t bet on that.” She grumbled, then asked directly, “What is my child to you? Why do you want them so badly?”

He ignored her questions, “I’ll be back soon to collect him.” 

A bright white light began to form behind him, making her raise a hand to shield her eyes. He seemed to fear it as he turned its direction. The light was impossibly bright now, and she had to close her eyes and press the closed lids against the crook of her arm, protecting them. The light still seemed to penetrate her vision, causing a pain in her head which drove her to her knees. She’d heard a scream before the light was gone. 

Two small delicate feminine hands touched her shoulders, firm but gentle, and began helping her up. “He’s gone for now,” The familiar female voice assured kindly, “But you’re still in danger.” 

Janeway opened her eyes, but all that greeted her was darkness. “I can’t see.” She could feel the person holding her but was unable to see anything. “I’m blind.” Then noticed she could no longer hear Eva, “Where’s my daughter?”

“She’s fine,” Safe on board the Hermes. 

“Who are you?” She asked, unnerved by what had just happened. “You will remember me in time. For now, you need to wake up before it’s too late.”

“Too late for what?” She dreaded to think.

“To cure your blindness.”


	8. Chapter 8

“Kes?” Janeway said upon recognition. 

There was a smile in her voice, “Yes Admiral.”

“But how? I thought you went back to Ocompa?” She questioned, confused.

“I did, but shortly after I returned realized I didn’t belong there. My thinking had changed too much. So, I continued my journey.”

“To where?” She asked, allowing Kes to guide her, still unable to see anything.

“Eventually, Noss.”

Janeway began to realize that she must know Senua. “I take it you’re the reason why Commander Ostad joined Starfleet.”

“Yes,” she said with great affection, “We became very close over my time there. Rekindled my desire for exploration, and in doing so, reminded me of who my true friends are. It’s why I made it possible for you to rescue your counterpart’s children. I knew you’d come to love and care for them as they did.”

“That was you’re doing?” Janeway asked surprised. “You took an awful risk. What if we hadn’t been sent to investigate that rift or Chakotay and I never became involved?”

She smiled even though she couldn’t see it. “I knew both were inevitable. Senua isn’t the only one who can see the future. She helped me cultivate and expand upon my abilities to such a degree that I can travel anywhere in an incorporeal form. I’ve even learned how to reverse and stop my aging process. But Senua will have to cure your blindness, healing never seemed to be my forte.”

She felt overwhelmed by all the information, as well as her feelings about the Ocompan she’d grown so close to while on Voyager. “Why does he want my child?”

Kes paused before answering, “Because he’s special.”

“All my children are special.” She replied.

“Yes, they are,” she admitted, “but he possesses a rare gift that he wants.”

When she didn’t continue, she prompted her, “Are you going to make me guess?”

“No, however, I’m uncertain as to how you’ll react.”

She could hear the conflict in her voice, “I’ll find out sooner or later.” She said and ran her hand across the curve of her stomach. “You may as well tell me.”

“The alien is dying, and he’s looking for a replacement. Your son will possess some very powerful psionic abilities.”

Janeway was stunned. “How?” Then she paused, considering, “Come to think of it, how did any of my children receive the abilities they have?”

“Because I gave it to them,” Kes answered.

“You?” She questioned shocked, “Why?”

“Every being has the potential buried deep inside them. It can take centuries, or even millennia before they begin to manifest naturally. I just unlocked their natural abilities and brought them to the surface.” She answered.

“That still doesn’t answer the why, Kes.”

“I know.” She replied and fell silent, causing Janeway to believe that she might not ever receive an answer. Feeling a hand placed to her stomach, she felt a tingling sensation as Kes gave her the answer, “I knew you would need protection, and I can’t be everywhere at once. Besides, you seem to have a knack for finding trouble, even when you don’t go looking for it.” She finished with a smile and noticed the crooked smile and Janeway’s lips. “That’s why I asked Senua to join you on this assignment. What we share is closer than friendship, closer than love, we understand each other in ways no one was ever meant to. So much so that we’ve imparted certain feelings we have about the people we care about. She has come to care for all of you in the same way I do. 

“As far as your son goes, for as long as he remains inside you, the necromorphs will not attack you or anyone near you. They recognize the psionic properties he possesses, just as their maker did.” Janeway’s stomach was smooth when she pulled her hand back, “There, his gestation has been reverted back to normal, and I’ve places some safeguards to prevent him from trying to increase it again.”

Janeway’s hands automatically went to her stomach, as if she didn’t quite believe it, and it was once again smooth. “I’m not going to ask how you did that.”

“It’s probably better that you don’t.” She replied with a soft laugh. “You will feel pain when your body awakens however, I cannot change that, but Senua can dramatically decrease the discomfort when she cures your blindness.”

“So, this isn’t temporary?”

“No, neither was the advancement of your pregnancy. In the real world, your body went through an extremely rough transition over a few seconds. There are always physical and chemical changes that occur when that happens, but I did reverse the process as I said. Had I not intervened you would have found yourself ready to give birth at any time. I must warn you, however, that your son’s ability will affect you in ways you might not be able to anticipate or control. You may find yourself able to tap into his connection unexpectedly and at random. He may even reach out to you.”

“How?”

“You are connected by more than just an umbilical cord Admiral. There’s an emotional connection, he’s your son, and he loves you without question. All children see their mothers as God, for you give them life. They begin to recognize the voice of their fathers, brothers, sisters over time, and tap into your feelings for them so they know it’s someone they can trust. If you don’t, he’ll sense that too, and depending on the circumstance, he may be prompted to strike out to protect you if you begin to feel threatened.”

Her hands continued to rub her stomach. “I don’t know how to feel about this.”

“Happy,” Kes answered, “It’s always the best way. Allow him to reach out to you, and he’ll show you himself.”

Closing her eyes, she concentrated on the child growing inside her, and just when she didn’t think she would feel anything, felt a nearly overwhelming sensation of pure love wash over her, and a wide smile formed on her lips. “I feel it.” She whispered.

“That’s him, your son, telling you that he loves you,” Kes explained.

She couldn’t find the words to describe it, even if she wanted to. “The feeling is mutual.” She said softly. “It’s true I was having considerable doubts about how I would negotiate this pregnancy and the timing of it, but I’ve never doubted my feelings. He was wrong about that. I love all my children as well as my husband. Nothing can ever change that.”

Kes laid a hand on her arm, “It won’t, but he will try to confuse you, use your deepest darkest thoughts against you. You need to be prepared for that. Even if you reject those dark impulses, they are there, we all have them, but if you let him come between your feelings and tap into those thoughts he’ll win. Don’t let him.”

“I won’t.” She replied purposefully. 

“That’s why you need to take the Doctor up on his suggestion to speak with your ship's counselor. He’ll help you fortify your resolve, make peace with your doubts. I know it will be difficult, but for the safety of your family and the fleet, you have to.”

It was the last thing she wanted, but she trusted her judgment, her counsel. She’d already proven she could when she protected her and her son from him, “I’ll do as you ask.”

“Good,” she said with a smile and gave her arm a firm squeeze before letting go, “I have to leave you alone now, but you will be safe. Your companions will be here shortly. I must speak to Senua so we can end the control he has over the crew. I will see you again.”

“Kes?” She called but received no reply.

“There you are Admiral,” Burke said coming up to her, “We’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“Did you get the weapons?”

He gave her an odd look. “We’re holding them right now.”

“Are you, alright Admiral?” Celes asked concerned.

“I’m afraid I’ve gone blind for the moment, and I hate to be a burden, but I will need your help.” She explained.

“Of course,” Celes answered and reached out to grasp her hand and placed it on her shoulder, “Just hang on to me. I’ll protect you.”

“Thank you Celes, the both of you actually, you didn’t have to come looking for me, but I’m glad you did.”

“We couldn’t leave you alone in this place. Besides, we’re Starfleet, it’s in our nature never to leave a man behind,” Burke answered. 

She smiled, “Well, let’s find our way out of here. Shall we?”

“On your orders Admiral,” Burke said.

Taking a breath, she answered, “Let’s go.”

**Hermes**

Senua worked the console in engineering after she’d retrieved Sian from the bridge. Trying to set up the resonance burst Kes had telepathically advised her of. Senua informed Captain Hunter of the plan and was currently down on her way to engineering. The Captain hadn’t been able to reach anyone on Voyager, so Kes would have to handle that last one herself. 

They would have to time the burst perfectly in order to create a big enough burst to force the grey man out of hiding and disrupt his power over the crew. As the three women coordinated, Captain Hunter began having problems staying awake and focused. The field was strong there. Sian volunteered to go over to the Mercury but Senua declined. Not wanting to let the child out of her sight. 

_“You have to let her go, my friend,”_ Kes said over the com. or the crew will be lost. 

She already had enough to worry about with the knowledge of the Admiral's condition and the need for her healing abilities once she was awake. Then having to perfectly time the burst wasn’t going to be easy either. Anything could go wrong. And what if something happened to Sian on her way over to the Mercury?

“I can do it, Commander,” Sian said, “the Captain needs my help, and you are needed here. It is only logical that I go. I am the only one who can.”

“Alright, but you keep an open comlink.” She finally agreed, not seeing another option. 

Sian went to the transporter room and began the sequence that would allow her to transport over to Mercury. Making her way down to main engineering wouldn’t take long once she’d reached the turbolift. She’d passed some crewmen on the way, all of them unconscious. _“I’m almost there.”_ She advised over the com. 

“Good.” Senua said, “If you run into a problem before you do or you feel yourself beginning to lose consciousness, let us know.”

_“Acknowledged.”_

**Mercury**

She began to feel more confident when she reached the turbolift. Only halfway there. Engineering wouldn’t be far beyond that. The ship suffered a jolt, almost knocking her to her feet. “Are we under attack?” She asked, but there was no response. “Commander Ostad? Kes? Captain Hunter?” Nothing. Did her com badge stop working? Had the connection been severed? She didn’t feel any different, and if she’d lost consciousness it happened so quickly, she wasn’t even aware of it.

The turbolift doors opened, and what she was faced with where two monstrous creations she never would have imagined. They were impossibly tall, their limbs long, covered in blood and muscle. They were unnatural, twisted, and any grown man or woman would have been petrified by the sight, especially an eight-year-old solitary female, but she wasn’t an ordinary girl. 

Backing up against the wall, she placed her right foot on the smooth surface behind her. When the creatures began to move forward, she pushed off with her foot and threw herself like a torpedo between them, sliding across the floor. Jumping up, she turned just in time to see them begin to turn around to exit the lift and pressed the button to close the door, locking them in. 

The corridor didn’t look any different than expected, and she couldn’t hear or see any further creatures. Stealthily, she made her way down the corridor, using any dark corners to her advantage while the lights continued to remain dim during red alert status. Finally, she’d made main engineering. The warp core was online, and she could see Captain Hunter laying on the floor next to the console, unconscious. 

Glancing at it, she could see she was still in the process of trying to set up the resonance burst but had been interrupted. Looking at her, she noticed she wasn’t just unconscious, she was dead, a large piece of metal jutting from her neck. She accessed the nearby com unit and attempted to try and establish a comlink with Kes or Senua, the only two people she knew to be awake. There was no response. 

She would have to try it on her own if nothing else it might buy her some time to return to the other two ships and begin their resonance bursts. Perhaps a cascade of them might be enough to disrupt the grey man’s hold over them. Accessing the console, she continued to input the commands, having paid close attention to what Senua was doing while she was on the Hermes.

Just as she was about to put in the core temperature of five million kelvins, the door to engineering opened. Looking up, it was Mercury’s female Vulcan chief engineer Lieutenant Sai. “You are not authorized to be in this area.” She said walking toward her.

“I am attempting to finish the resonance burst Captain Hunter started before she was murdered. By the lack of dried blood on the metal, the culprit may still be nearby. I advise caution.” Sian explained.

“Step away from the console crewman. That’s an order.” She said drawing her weapon.

Sian stopped, knowing that none of what was happening was right. She had to have succumbed to the same fate as the others even though she couldn’t determine when that might have happened. Stepping back, she eyed Sai curiously, looking for any sign that she was either one of those creatures in disguise, or perhaps even something more dangerous.

“You will come with me to the shuttle bay. The fleet is lost, we must leave and find assistance.” Sai said, still pointing the weapon at her. 

“If the fleet is truly lost as you say, then why not try to complete the resonance burst? It certainly wouldn’t hurt to try.” She challenged.

“There isn’t sufficient time. If we don’t leave now, we’ll possibly lose our only advantage.” She answered.

If she had been uncertain at any point that she was trapped in a state of unconsciousness, she knew now. She’d spent many months around Vulcan’s and was very familiar with their speech patterns. The use of contractions was not part of their vocabulary. Her muscles began to tense, ready to jump out of the way to the bulkhead behind her. It wasn’t much, but it would provide some cover until she could determine her next move. 

Springing into a backflip, she landed behind the bulkhead. The alien moved forward cautiously; she could see their shadow on the floor. Using it as a guide, she waited until they were close enough to perform a trip maneuver that would put them on their back. Once they had crossed the threshold, she jutted her leg behind theirs and used the bulkhead as a means of support as she pulled back her foot hard against the back of their calf. The alien fell, the weapon dropping from the hand and sliding back across the floor.

She performed a standing leap and dove into the air before tucking her body into a roll onto the floor and back on her feet. Running forward, she headed for the weapon and grasped it before turning around. The alien had just reached their feet, but this time she could see who it was, the grey man.

“You’re a nimble little thing, aren’t you?” He sounded almost impressed.

“Who are you?” Her tone demanding but calm.

He gave her a look of derision, “You know who I am.”

“Alright. What do you want?”

“Does it matter?”

“It does to you, or you wouldn’t be here.”

He seemed almost delighted by her response, “Clever girl. I could use someone like you. Perhaps I’ll make you a team.”

Now she was confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Your brother.” He answered.

She shook her head slightly. “Asa and I aren’t going anywhere with you.”

“You misunderstand. Your other brother, he will be arriving soon.”

“I don’t have another brother.”

He smiled knowingly, “Your mother is due to give birth to him any time now. And when she does, I will take you both,” as he spoke, it didn’t go unnoticed how he kept trying to move closer to her.

“I apologize for this,” she replied then fired, and he fell to the ground stunned, “but I intend to have other plans.” As she passed, she shot him once more just to be sure before accessing the console again. Putting in the temperature she began the resonance burst. Almost as soon as the first pulse went out, the grey man disappeared. It was only then she realized that she hadn’t been unconscious, he was only playing with her mind. 

When she looked down however to Captain Hunter, the metal was still jutting out of her neck. Upon closer inspection, she realized that she wasn’t dead but would be soon if she didn’t get immediate assistance. Tapping her com badge, “Sian to Computer, lock onto my and Captain Hunter’s coordinates and transport us to sickbay, medical emergency.” Within seconds, she was there, and Doctor Corbin was shaking off the effects of whatever she was just in. “The Captain needs help.” She called to her. 

Making her way over, she touched the shoulder of one of her nurses who had just woke up and indicated that she needed their help. Together, they got Captain Hunter on the biobed and began scanning. Looking to the nurse she said, “We’re going to need to perform immediate surgery.” The nurse nodded and they got to work.

Sian heard a loud painful moan coming from the other side of sickbay, it was her mother. Moving to her side, she was writhing on the biobed, her eyes open but unseeing. She took her hand, “It’s okay mother, I’m here with you. The baby will be fine.” If she had heard she didn’t respond. She flagged down another nurse for assistance. “My mother is in great pain. Please help her.” She asked kindly.

The young man grabbed a medical tricorder and began scanning, looking extremely confused. “I can’t get any reading.” Picking up another, he only got the same result. Turning the scan onto Sian, he was able to read her bio signs but not the Admirals. “I don’t understand why the Admiral’s bio readings are being scattered.”

As the young man attempted to make her more comfortable, the door opened and Commander Ostad entered. Scanning the room quickly with her eyes, she spotted the Admiral and headed to her. Gently pushing the young man aside, she placed her hands on Janeway’s stomach and closed her eyes. “Calm down little one. I’m here to help you,” she said softly. A warm yellow light began to emanate from beneath her hands, and within a matter of moments, Janeway was still and appeared to be no longer in pain. Looking tired, she moved up to her face and placed her hands over her eyes, the same yellow light appeared and after another moment she stepped back, dropping to her knees in exhaustion. 

Janeway’s eyes opened, disoriented at first, but she could see and was no longer in pain. Whatever just happened had ended her suffering. Sitting up slowly, she looked down to see Senua kneeling against the biobed. “Nurse, please help her up onto a biobed. She needs to rest.”

“Yes Admiral,” He replied and begin getting Senua to her feet.

Looking at her daughter, she smiled. “How did you get here?”

“It’s a long story. I’ll have to tell you later.” Her mother nodded.

“She’s crashing.” The nurse called firmly. 

“Get her thirty cc’s of Ephemerol and prepare the cortical stimulator.” Doctor Corbin ordered.

Janeway got off the bed and began walking over to see what was happening but staying well out of the way as they worked, Sian holding her hand. She watched as the nurse injected her with the drugs.

“No effect.” The nurse stated.

“Begin cortical stimulation, twenty megajoules.”

“Nothing.”

“Raise to thirty.”

“No change.” There was a long beep. “She’s dead.”


	9. Chapter 9

Ocin had survived the vicissitudes of the past forty years. He was the last to bear the title of Concinnate. His order had always operated in secret, the wisdom he held had been learned from a young age when he was taken in as an orphan off the streets of Mithren. They promised him a purpose, a direction that would bring his life meaning, even if no one ever learned his name. 

The defense grid had obliterated his order when they attempted to land on the hidden planet, having traced the source of the devastation which had brought so much pain to their people. He had lost his brothers and sisters that day. They had been closer than family, theirs was a union forged in blood and death.

They had aimed their ships at the planet, hoping that the defense net would be overwhelmed by the numbers they were hurling at it, and it had. To his knowledge, he was the only survivor, and it was up to him to put a stop to the aberration. To end the necromorphs reign of terror, and to find the man in grey before he could strike at their collective heart again. 

He had heard the tale of Sobek. The fact he was still alive after encountering the horde was either a miracle of the divine or left in the hands of the knave. Either way, he had been abandoned to suffer the next worst fate, slow descent into an illusion of madness. If his fate were a blessing or a curse he could not know. What he did know, is If he could not end the effect of the remnant, all would perish. 

Checking his Horologium, there wasn’t much time before the light left the sky. Giving way to the ghastly creatures whose terror came at night. Pulling the cucullate further across his face, he began his trek across the desert toward the heart of darkness itself. This would be his last battle, and it was one he intended to win.

**Hermes**

Chakotay’s eyes snapped open, the nightmare he had found himself in had ended suddenly and inexplicably. He had found himself lost in a maze of corridors, each a dead-end that had changed in shape and dimension at every turn. The sounds he’d heard were that of his family, trapped, alone, and without support. The helplessness he felt upon hearing their cries struck at his soul, left him feeling shaken and confused. 

When he’d awoken to hear his youngest daughter’s inconsolable scream, he flew off the bed and into the living area to find Asa holding her, trying to offer what comfort he could. Chakotay could see his son was upset if it was due to the heart-wrenching sobs of his sister or a hellish experience of his own, he didn’t know yet. 

Eva reached for him the moment she saw his face. Hers was flushed red, incomprehension in her young eyes. She couldn’t tell him what was wrong, what had precipitated this overt response. He took her into his arms, her hands gripping his shirt as she continued to scream against his ear. Kneeling, he pulled his son to him and held him close. Finding safety and comfort there, he cried into his shoulder. 

This had been one of his and Kathryn’s worst fears when they made the decision to bring them along. Both hoping to shield their children from the possible terrors and dangers they might find. Chakotay feared what his son and daughter had seen within their own nightmare and wondered if the experience had set Asa back after overcoming so much trauma from his past. It was then he remembered Sian and wondered where she was.

“Asa, where is your sister?” He asked, trying not to panic the boy.

He pulled back slowly but didn’t release him. “I don’t know Dad. She wasn’t here when I woke up. I only found Eva.”

Now, Eva had started to calm, the screams decreasing into cries, then finally to whimpers. She was almost asleep against his shoulder but was actively resisting.

“Let’s get dressed and then we’ll find them.”

“You’re going to take us with you?” He asked looking thankful and surprised.

He smiled, “I don’t think either of you would allow me that choice. Would you?” Looking to his sister, who was docile at the moment, only shook his head. “I didn’t think so.”

**Voyager**

B’Elanna was heading for main engineering when she received Tuvok’s hail. “Torres here Captain.”

“Commander, once you have reached main engineering, I need you to reestablish communication with the fleet. We seemed to have suffered extensive damage to those systems.” His voice was even, the words delivered in the same unwavering tone she’d secretly admired. 

“Yes, Captain. Torres out.” The doors opened, and she was stunned before she’d even entered the room. Standing by the warp core was a face she never thought to see again. “Kes?”

She looked up and smiled. “Hello, Commander.”

“What…? How…? When…?” The beginnings of questions coming all at once but finishing neither. Which only made the Ocompan laugh. 

“It’s a long story, but sufficed to say, I’m happy to see you too.”

B’Elanna embraced her in a hug, not caring who was watching before separating again. “Can you at least tell me what you’re doing here in engineering?”

Her smile widened. “That is also a long story, but I’m sure the Admiral will explain it once your communication system has been restored.”

“How did you…?”

Kes only gave her a knowing smile. “Did you need a hand?”

B’Elanna allowed her confusion of the situation to fall away for the moment, “Absolutely.”

**Mercury**

“I don’t accept that.” Doctor Corbin said. “Go to the stasis unit and get the adrenaline shot.”

“But Doctor, we’re not supposed to-”

“I wasn’t asking for an opinion Lieutenant,” she interrupted, her tone unyielding. 

“Yes Doctor,” the young woman acquiesced and headed for the unit.

She turned to find another nurse and saw the one standing next to the Admiral and her daughter. Harry and Celes had also joined the small group. “I could use you here nurse.” He moved to the space across from her. “Just who I need. I’m going to ask you to do something you’ve never done before, it’s going to take a lot of strength, dexterity, and steadiness on your part.”

“What do you need?” He asked, eyeing her warily. He knew her well enough that if she ever started an instruction with the words ‘I’m going to ask you to do something you’ve never done before’ it was defiantly something he wasn’t going to like.

The other nurse arrived holding a large syringe with a long needle. No one in the room other than the Doctor had ever seen one like this, much less ever used it. It was nearly impossible to believe that any medical practitioner in the twenty-fourth century would even consider using anything so archaic, but even now they used more sophisticated versions of it. 

Taking the large syringe, she pointed to the area where she wanted him to inject the contents, explaining where he would be encountering bone and cartilage before he slipped past the muscles of the sternum and into the heart cavity. This is where he would need to inject the adrenaline in order to provide the most direct route to the bloodstream. “Now you will have to do this in one quick motion without breaking the needle.”

“Now you tell me,” He says with a slight groan, and takes the syringe.

“Now, see this mark,” she points at the X she placed over the spot. “Aim for the center of this without hesitation. Do it now.”

He found himself hesitating, afraid of what all the consequences might be if he got it wrong. 

“I’ll do it,” Sian said stepping up. 

Kathryn held her back. “No, you can’t, you’re not authorized.”

“If he can’t bring himself to do it because of his indecision, the Doctor will have lost her chance to bring her back. I have to help. I’m stronger than I look. I can do this mother.” She explained determined.

She looked to the Doctor, then to her daughter, “Somebody has to do it, and I don’t have the strength.” Doctor Corbin explained. 

Kathryn made the quick decision to let her try if she was that adamant. “Alright.”

Sian stepped forward and climbed up onto the table. Positioning herself over the Captain, she reached for the needle and aimed for the mark, having already listened and understood the instructions she’d given the nurse. Holding it steady, she held it before her and held it level with her face before plunging it down into the mark with both hands without hesitation, past the bone and cartilage, the muscles of the ribcage and into the heart itself. The Doctor reached forward to help her press the white substance down through the needle until the syringe was empty. 

The Doctor was about to tell Sian to pull the needle out when Captain Hunter sat up sucking in a large harsh gasp of air into her lungs. Everyone other than Sian was startled and took a step back. Sian reached out and pulled the needle from her chest and offered it to the Doctor, who reached out to take it gingerly. “You’re going to be fine Captain.” She assured before Hunter fell back again. This time, Sian got down to let the medical team take over. 

“Thank you, Sian.” The doctor said before she moved back to her mother’s side. 

“I don’t know how you’re able to do some of the things you do, but I’m just astounded,” Janeway said, leaning down to speak with her. Straightening, she looked to Harry and Celes and asked. “Are you both alright?”

“Yes, Admiral.” They answered, Harry, trying to ignore the fact that the Admiral was only wearing a satin nightgown but presented herself as if she were in uniform. 

Giving a nod, she moved to Senua to see how she was faring. At the moment, the nurse attending her advised she was asleep and would keep her advised. 

“Carry on.” She answered and began to head out of sickbay with her daughter. “I’ll need to go back to my quarters and change before I attempt to contact your father and check in with the fleet. We can get you something more appropriate to wear while we’re there.” Sian agreed and followed her down the corridor.

Her mother didn’t appear to be uncomfortable as she began to pass crewman on her way back to deck two. Sian mistook ease for training. There was nothing she could do about her appearance at the moment, so there was no reason to let herself get worked up about it. Doing so served no purpose. Once they’re reached her quarters, Kathryn felt like she could finally breathe again and headed into her bedroom to get a uniform while Sian used the replicator to first get a set of clothing and shoes before ordering a cup of black coffee. 

When her mother reentered a moment later, she offered her the cup, “This should help.” 

Kathryn smiled and caressed her cheek, “You’re as thoughtful as your father,” she said then took the cup. Before attempting to access the fleet-wide com system. It seemed to be down at the moment. Reaching out to the bridge, she received a response from Commander Burke. _“Good to hear your voice Admiral. I take it you’re better?”_

“Yes Commander, thank you. What’s our status?”

_“Currently our external com system is down, so we can’t contact the rest of the fleet, but I’m sending over one of our engineers to help Commander Torres, I’m sure she can use all the help she can get.”_

“So, I take it the transporters are working?”

_“Yes, Admiral.”_

“Captain Hunter was critically injured and is now recovering in sickbay. You will be in command until she recovers.” 

_“Understood.”_

“I will be heading back to the Hermes with my daughter should anyone need me.”

_“Acknowledged. Burke out.”_

When Janeway turned, Victoria was standing right behind her and found the sudden appearance startling. “I wasn’t expected to see you there.”

“I’ve already made arrangements for your transport, and Captain Chakotay will be informed the moment we’ve arrived.” She informed.

“Thank you.” She really didn’t know what she’d do without her at times. 

**Hermes**

Once the Admiral and her daughter arrived safely, she made certain there would be no further issues for their family’s reunion. Making her way back to her quarters, she entered the bathroom and removed the multispectral contact lenses from her eyes and placed them in the small container of a solution made for this purpose she kept next to the sink.

The irises, which had once been a light seafoam green, a trait she inherited from her mother, were now milky and discolored. She was blind without them, had been since she was eight. She could hardly remember the precise shade they used to be anymore, only the dark brown she now gazed upon when looking in the mirror.

Going about her normal routine, she counted the steps in her head necessary to reach the living area. From there she began her strength training and stretches, finding she was better able to focus without the visual assistance, but more than that, to get some relief from the constant irritation they provided. It was a necessary evil.

As she began her one-handed pushups, her mind wandered to the first time she’d met Kathryn Janeway, and over the years came to realize just how much their meetings had helped her overcome the trauma she’d endured. It wasn’t her fault she didn’t recognize her; she didn’t look the same as she did then. Many painful surgeries had changed any visual clues she would have once had. Her name change had also changed with it, removing the stigma of her father’s legacy.

She knew firsthand how kind and compassionate a heart she had; it was the second thing she noticed other than her voice which reminded her of velvet. If fabric could possess a voice, it would have had to have been Kathryn Janeway’s. To her, it didn’t matter who her father was, believing the sins of the father should not be taken out on their progeny. She told her that what her father had done to her and the others aboard the Sepulcher was not a reflection on who she was or who she would be, that was up to her to decide.

Victoria had grown fond of her visits, in fact, she was the only person who ever came other than her mother who had now grown cold and distant, as if she were a thing to be repulsed and pitied. She had been harassed by the cruelty of others over her former husband’s actions as if she herself had had anything to do with what he’d done. Neither of them could have guessed the kind of man he was, always showing everyone the carefully constructed side, he wanted the outside world to see.

It had been a day like any other aboard a starship. Nothing out of the ordinary happened prior to the event that would have given credence to what was to follow. It was one of the reasons she didn’t fully trust Betazoid’s anymore, even being half Betazoid herself. His nature had hidden any depth of feeling. She was young, naïve, inexperienced, and wasn’t aware that who she thought and who he actually was were two different things. Never had any reason not to believe the things he told her.

He was the chief security officer aboard the Sepulcher and had been misusing his authority and abilities to rape young women. Not just onboard the ship, but every ship and outpost he’d ever served on. The girls were not much older than herself, anywhere from ten to sixteen. She had thought she was the only one, having been groomed to respond to him from a very early age. It was the only time she ever felt any kind of emotion from him, what she thought was love. There wasn’t anyone telling her what he was doing to her was wrong, and how the conflicted awful feelings she often felt about it where natural.

Her mother had been taken out of the picture when she was three, her father obtaining sole custody. She would be allowed to visit whenever they were back on Earth, and even that might only be for a few hours if he was feeling generous. She had blamed herself for what happened to those other girls, that if she had been enough her father might not have gone looking elsewhere. It had taken many years to accept she had not done anything wrong, and that she was just as much a victim as they were, and how he was not only a predator but a monster.

He had been caught during the act. After years of complacency, his method of raping then using his abilities to suppress the memories of his victims had become commonplace. He’d gotten good at it, and the sense of urgency and careful planning of his crimes had grown lax after each instance he’d gotten away with it. The fear of discovery emboldening him to take further risks over the years, the thought he would ever be caught growing further in his mind as a possibility.

They had cornered him in his quarters, and when he’d entered felt an overwhelming sense of panic from him. She’d never seen him so crazed and undone, unable to predict how quickly his desperate need for escape would eventually become. He had used her as a bargaining chip, threatening to harm her if they didn’t allow him to take a shuttle and leave. Eventually, he knew they would override the lockouts and shielding he’d managed to put in place. Every minute that ticked by was one minute closer to capture.

He told her there was no other choice, he had to do it, it was the only way they would be safe. Once they broke in, she would be taken away and he would put in prison, his abilities chemically suppressed, it would be a living death to a Betazoid. She would be punished for what she’d allowed him to do, that they didn’t approve or understand how he expressed his love for her, and she would also be chemically altered, forever going through life feeling as though a major piece of her was missing. They would blame her for what he did, even though she didn’t know anything about it. It wouldn’t matter he said, she would never be believed. She had feared the reprisal he described and agreed that death was better.

He kissed her on the mouth as a final goodbye before raising the phaser and pointing it to her face. She was afraid of the unknown, of what lay beyond this life if she never saw him again what that would mean for her. She saw a bright flash, brighter than she’d ever seen before. The world began to slip away as she fell to the ground. He’d raised the phaser again, this time on himself before firing. Seconds, minutes, or hours later they had managed to make their way inside, for her time was meaningless. All she could feel was agony as they told her she would be alright and that she was safe before transferring her to sickbay.

It was several weeks later that Kathryn Janeway had come to visit her at Starfleet Medical. She was a cadet at the time, a woman of eighteen, and it was her first year at the academy. Having heard about the tragedy through the other cadets, and after she’d done some research discovered what had happened and who young the girl was, she was appalled. Her heart broke for the young girl, having never known any kind of loving relationship, like the one she had with her own family and how that dynamic was supposed to work out in the real world.

She remembered seeing her face for the first time after she had finally been cleared for visitation. Her father having a lot do to with making that possible. The girl had been horribly disfigured by the point-blank phaser blast from what she’d been told, and completely blind, it was a miracle she’d managed to survive at all. However, buy the time she was allowed to see her some of the damage had been corrected, leaving a lot of scaring.

It would be several more treatments and surgeries before the skin would be fully restored, but as far as her vision was concerned there was nothing they could do. The type of burns she’d sustained had fused the retina to the optic nerve, and even with all their collective medical knowledge, were still unable to repair that kind of damage. The girl would be blind for life.

It had taken some time to earn the girl's trust or any semblance of it. They began to establish a strange kind of rapport at first, the girl often using humor to deflect feelings about herself and what had happened. She would not discuss her father, even the mention of his name would send her into a rage when she’d overheard someone carelessly speak his name in her presence. It would take time for Kathryn to calm her down, and when she couldn’t they would have to sedate her.

She came to visit her every Wednesday evening and Saturday afternoon. The girl came to look forward to her visits, and they would laugh and play games. She would talk to her as if she were a little sister, and as the months passed the girl came to see and love her like one. Kathryn would sit in on her counseling sessions, and always at the girl’s behest. She seemed to be the only person she really trusted, especially after her own mother had stopped visiting altogether.

When she was due to be released into the care of a ward who was arranged to provide her with the special care she needed, they had promised to keep in touch. As the years went by and Kathryn’s responsibilities increased, the letters grew fewer. What she didn’t know was that the woman she regarded as a sister had just suffered a tragedy of her own, losing both her father and fiancé at the same time. It had changed everything she had come to expect from the world, and it was this that had ended their correspondence.

She’d never forgotten her, or the time they’d spent together. A year after she’d lost contact, she received word of an experimental procedure that may give her partial or full sight. The worst that could happen was nothing at all, and by then she’d been blind for six years, so no change meant very little. She had gone through several surgeries in an effort to restore her sight. Sometimes she would see flashes of light, other times colors. It turned out to be the best she could hope for, but the experiments restored just enough of her vision that she was able to be fitted with an optical device in order to provide her with a type of infrared vision.

As the years went by, she was able to join Starfleet herself in the GORPOS division as a combat mission specialist, learning the art of surveillance and counterintelligence, tactical weapons, and hand to hand combat. She’d learned how to deploy and coordinate troop movements, ground and orbital weapons, including modern warfare. Sun Tzu the Art of War had become her bible, the book of Starfleet Advanced Regulations, and Tactics her shield. But always in the back of her mind, she never forgot the woman who had reached out to her and treated her like family when she had none.

When she’d heard her ship was lost, she was devastated. Even though it had been years since they’d spoken, she felt as if she’d lost a sister. By then she had been fitted with the multispectral contact lenses she now wore, receiving upgrades when available. It didn’t give her the vision she barely remembered, what it gave her was the ability to not just see infrared, but included night vision, ultraviolet, and electromagnetic distortions. She had achieved the rank of Chief Master Sergeant by that time, and much earlier than anyone she served with had or expected, only being one of five to have achieved the rank by the age of thirty.

She attended the memorial service for Voyager, bringing a bouquet of yellow carnations to lay at the base. The same color and flower Kathryn would so often bring during her visits. Yellow had been her favorite color, and the only one she could remember clearly. The universe seemed a little smaller now without her presence. Just knowing she was out there somewhere had always been enough.

Eventually, she’d learned to move on, just as she always had. She kept an eye on Kathryn’s mother, sister, and fiancé from a distance, using her connections to make sure that whatever they needed somehow always managed to come their way, and that they remained safe. Taking up the role that Kathryn would have provided herself had she been present and alive, and felt she would have wanted it that way. When she learned that she was alive but stranded in the delta quadrant, a renewed sense of hope and peace emerged. It didn’t matter then that she wasn’t here, the fact that she had survived was enough.

Over time, she’d learned more about her whereabouts, what she’d been doing in the delta quadrant, who her crew was, what kind of relationships she’d developed with them. A year before she returned back to the alpha quadrant, she had attained the highest rank for a noncommissioned officer, Command Chief Master Sergeant, the only rank above her would be commissioned. She’d used her time strengthening her network of contacts, reaching out and making contacts on other worlds, this is how she eventually became associated with Senua and Kes.

Upon Voyager’s return, she was almost thirty-five years old. When Captain Janeway was then promoted to Admiral five months after her return, she’d used her considerable connections to retire at her old rank and reenter Starfleet, being given the provisional rank of Lieutenant, her knowledge of operations giving her all the tools she needed to place herself as her assistant. Her commanders and colleagues thought she was crazy, but she had her own reasons for that decision, and it wasn’t something they needed to understand, only accept. In the end, they did.

She felt she had failed to keep a tight watch on her before, losing her once to the delta quadrant, she would not allow that mistake to be repeated. When she realized that part of Kathryn’s regrets upon her return was not admitting her feelings to her former first officer, feeling that their time had passed since he began dating another member of her crew prior to return, she’d made arrangements to stay in close contact with him. Cultivating a friendship that would allow her to keep tabs on his whereabouts.

Once his prior relationship had ended, she’d waited for the right time to organically bring him back into the picture and allow nature to take its course. The Admiral’s news at having been told she could not have children and her subsequent behavior in relation to that news toppled with her current feelings provided the perfect opportunity. Now they were married with three children and one on the way. It was ironic sometimes how things worked out.

_“Janeway to Victoria.”_

Pausing her workout, she tapped her com badge and opened the connection, “Yes Admiral.”

_“Schedule a meeting for tomorrow in the Hermes briefing room at zero eight hundred. I’d like you to also be present for that meeting.”_

“Certainly. Anything else?”

_“Come to think of it, please retrieve the padds from the desk in my office before you arrive. There is some information I’d like to review before the meeting.”_

“I’ll have the padds waiting for you by zero seven hundred.”

_“What would I do without you,”_ she said fondly. 

“Forget your padds probably,” she answered with humor.

She laughed, _“See you in the morning. Janeway out.”_

Finishing her workout, she headed back to the bathroom to take a sonic shower, counting the number of steps in her head required to reach it. She was no longer known as Kasima Ozea, the name being associated with a girl she no longer knew. It was something Kathryn Janeway didn’t need to know about, and she’d never corrected her on the name change in any of their letters. Twenty-seven years ago, she had been reborn into a new life, finding a new family and a new purpose. She felt she owed this woman everything because she had given her a reason to hope, and in the end, hope is really all we have.


	10. Chapter 10

**Medical Complex, Mithren**

Two days later, the fleet finally made its way to Mithren. The previous situation had been discussed by the senior staff between all ships, once fleet communications had been reestablished. Their main priority now became to find the man in grey and put a stop to not only what he was doing with the necromorphs, but for the Admiral and her husband it became more than just a priority, it was personal. He wanted their unborn child in order to mold him into becoming whatever twisted version of himself he was trying to replace before his death, it was something they would never allow under any circumstances. This was their son, and if anyone was going to raise him it was them.

Captain Hunter’s condition was improving, and within a few days would be ready to retake command of the Mercury. The attack by the man in grey had left some nerve damage to her arm and shoulder, but with several more treatments, the pain would become nominal. The tiny nerves only giving her trouble from time to time.

They had made contact with Doctor Kroxin and arranged to meet him on the surface at their main hospital complex. Janeway insisted on being present for this meeting in order to meet the man Sobek for herself and to hear what he had to say. Perhaps there was some insight he could provide directly that hadn’t been relayed in any report.

Admiral Kathryn Janeway, The Doctor, Lieutenant Victoria Mason, Commander’s Burke and Ostad, Counselor Arthur Hamilton, Captain Tuvok and his chief of security Lieutenant M'iarr who was from a feline race called the Caitian, transported to the complex. Doctor Kroxin was there to greet them.

“Doctor Kroxin I presume,” Janeway said extending her hand to him. He eyed it curiously, uncertain as to what the gesture meant. Sensing his confusion, she explained, “It’s a form of greeting where I’m from.”

“Ahh,” he replied with a smile and awkwardly took it.

After introducing her companions, she asked, “How is Mister Sobek?”

He frowned slightly before gesturing for them to follow. Walking next to Janeway he replied, “Not well I’m afraid, he continues to have delusions of his daughter and the man in grey along with images of the necromorphs, poor man.” He added, expressing genuine compassion for him.

“And what of the children who were brought here? How are they faring?” She asked.

“I’m afraid all but one has succumbed to the Rot.” He replied sadly.

“I’m sorry,” and she was, “I would like to speak with the child later if that’s possible. Perhaps they can tell us how they came into contact with the disease and who they might have spread it to.”

“I can make the arrangements.”

“Is there any new information regarding Sobek’s delusions?” Counselor Hamilton asked.

“I’m afraid not, but at the moment he’s awake and quite lucid. The delusions only seem to happen after nightfall.” Kroxin explained.

“This was not mentioned in your report,” Tuvok stated.

“An oversight on my part, my apologies,” Kroxin replied as they reached the door to Sobek’s room. “I hope there is something you can do to help the poor man. I’m afraid we’ve exhausted every resource we have.”

“That is certainly our intention.” Counselor Hamilton said.

“I’ll go in and let him know you’re here to speak with him. However, I would ask that only three of you go in, any more than that might give Sobek the wrong idea.” Janeway nodded.

When he disappeared behind the door, she picked out Commander Ostad to be one of them due to her psionic abilities, Counselor Hamilton of course, and herself. The rest would wait outside. Doctor Kroxin reappeared after a few minutes and showed them in.

“Sobek,” he said gesturing to the aliens, “these people are from the United Federation of Planets. They’re here to ask you some questions about your time on the Impeteux and to see if there is anything, they can do to help with the visions you’re having.” Sobek eyed them warily but nodded in agreement.

“My name is Arthur Hamilton, I’m the fleet’s chief counselor. I’d like to ask you some questions about your experiences there if that’s alright.” Sobek nodded, “When did you first notice something was wrong?”

He began to think back, not really wanting to but doing it anyway, “When I came on duty, I went into the engineering supply room to get a cutter.”

“Cutter?”

“Plasma cutter, we use it to cut out damaged sections of hull plating off the ships that come in for repairs in order to make the replacement sections line up smoothly so they can be resealed.”

“Is that what you were doing that day, repairs?”

“No, I was asked to get it for a friend of mine who was already on shift. He left me a personal message asking me to bring it to him when I came on duty, he’d forgotten it. I sent him a message back telling him I’d bring it to the docking port.”

“What did you see in the supply room that gave you the impression something was wrong?”

“There was a pool of blood going under the desk.”

“Do you know who’s blood it was?”

“Yes, it was Laisae, I found her overalls ripped up and covered in blood next to it.”

“How do you know she didn’t just leave them there?”

“Because we don't keep spare uniforms in there, only tools and supplies. That, and the vent cover was torn open over the shelving unit. I didn’t notice the trail of blood leading up to it until then. You can’t see it until you’re near the desk.”

“What did you do then?”

“I tried to contact my supervisor to let him know there was a problem, but the com system wasn’t working for some reason. So, I had to leave and go to his office.”

“Where was his office?”

“Lower level eight, section ten.”

“And what level were you on?”

“Level four, section seven.”

Hamilton nodded, “Did you ever make it to his office?”

“No.”

“Why?” Sobek’s hands started shaking, his breathing rapid. “It’s alright Mister Sobek, you’re among friends here. I know the memories are painful and terrifying, and I’m sure there’s no one in this room who doesn’t understand how difficult this is for you. But if we’re going to help, we need to know what happened. There might be something in the details that will give us some clue as to how or why this incident occurred.” Hamilton explained gently, compassionately.

Sobek nodded in understanding, trying to get his fear and anxiety under control long enough to finish. After a few moments, he continued, “There was a power drain by the time I reached level six, the lift just stopped. I had to use the emergency hatch to get out and crawl into one of the maintenance shafts, and that’s when I saw it.”

“Saw what?”

“The necromorph.”

“How did you know that’s what it was?”

“I remembered the description from the old texts my grandfather told me about when I was a boy. He was a priest at the temple of Hequt and studied the ancient book of the dead. It described those creatures, referring to them as necromorphs, created and summoned by the God Marrku to take revenge upon the living.”

Hamilton gave him a nod in understanding, “Then what happened?”

“It started coming toward me. I didn’t have anywhere to go but back,” he stopped, thinking, then added as an afterthought, “and it was fast.”

“How did you escape it?”

“I still had the cutter on my belt, so I pulled it and fired. I didn’t kill it, but I was able to slow it down enough to give me just enough time to make it back to the ladder. I took off one of its arms, but all I did was slow it down, it started to regenerate quickly.”

“Once you were back on the ladder where did you go?”

“Up, it was the only place I could go. I decided I needed to get off the station, so I headed for the shuttle port which was on level two. There were times I didn’t think I was going to make it.”

“Why was that?”

“There were obstacles in the way. I stuck to the maintenance shafts as much as I could, trying to avoid being cornered somewhere. At times I had to leave the shafts because of either hull breeches or a collapsed bulkhead. I stumbled upon a group of them near the end of a corridor, but they hadn’t noticed me yet. It took everything I had not to run, knowing if I did, they’d catch me, and I’d end up as one of them. I’d sooner have been blown up first and taken them with me before I let that happen,” he felt himself getting angry for the first time since this whole thing began and stood up unexpectedly. It startled everyone in the room, Senua stepped between him and the Admiral, just in case. What he did do was turn toward the wall and hit it with his fist as hard as he could, breaking all the bones in his hand. Everyone in the room could hear the unmistakable sound when it happened.

“Sobek,” Doctor Kroxin began firmly with his hands raised in a non-threatening gesture, “Try to calm down.”

Counselor Hamilton held out his hand to the doctor, indicating he step back, “Let him be for now,” he instructed quietly before taking a step toward Sobek who didn’t seem to notice the injury, but Doctor Kroxin did as asked, “What did you do next Sobek? Where did you go?” He asked, trying to keep the man’s momentum moving forward, he needed to get his feelings out, and Hamilton was going to give him every opportunity to do that. Suspecting he hadn’t been allowed to express any of them before their arrival.

“I wanted to blow up the whole damn station! I knew they’d rather all be dead than spend eternity as one of those things!” He shouted. Then Hamilton saw a change come over the man, appearing as though it were deep regret and disgust, “But I couldn’t,” he continued and fell to his knees, emotion choking his speech and Hamilton bent down to one knee to face him, silently offering his support, “I was too afraid to go back. I’m a coward, just as I was on the Aeneas when the Borg came. I didn’t even try to save them; I just ran like I always do.”

“Don’t treat yourself too harshly,” he began softly, “fear is a powerful force that’s nearly impossible to overcome. When we’re afraid there is a tremendous amount of pressure the mind puts on us to flee, enticing us to abandon everything other than self-preservation, its call almost too powerful to resist. Listening to it doesn’t make you a coward Sobek, it’s what keeps you alive,” He explained, “If you had blown up the station, it’s possible that no one would have been aware of these necromorphs until it was too late, just as no one would have known what happened to Aeneas until they came looking for it. I know you don’t see this now, but you saved a lot of lives in listening to that call and saving your own.”

Sobek was quiet for a long time before he spoke again, “You paint a very pretty picture Doctor. Is that what I’m supposed to tell my wife and daughter when I see them again in the afterlife? That I was just following my instincts?” He asked looking up to meet his eyes, his own bloodshot and filled with tears.  
Hamilton smiled, “When you see them again, you tell them that you love them because the details of the how’s and why’s are meaningless. To the dead, the reasons no longer matter, they only matter to the living.”

Sobek broke down in tears, and Hamilton took the man into his arms, giving him as much comfort as he needed. The rest of the room watched in silence. Janeway felt a few tears slide down her own cheeks at the sight of the man’s deepest pain, having borne his soul to them, and wiped them quickly away. Placing a hand on Senua’s shoulder, she indicated they leave the room to allow the man some privacy.

Once they were outside the door, she asked the Doctor to go in and treat Sobek’s hand as they talked amongst themselves and waited. Eventually, the three men exited the room. “Well Counselor, what do you think?”

“He’s certainly not delusional. People who suffer from delusions get tripped up when pushed for details, Sobek was quite specific. So, I’m inclined to believe that whatever is causing his delusions is being induced.”

“Like what happened to the fleet,” Burke said.

“Exactly.”

“I am interested in something he said,” Senua stated.

“What’s that?” Janeway asked.

“The reference to the temple of Hequt and the ancient book of the dead. If the necromorphs are mentioned in those texts it may provide more answers.”

"Good idea," Janeway said, “Tuvok, Ostad, Burke, and M'iarr. Go to the temple and see what you can find. Contact me the moment you find anything. The rest of us will stay here.” Janeway ordered.

After they acknowledged the order, the group took off to find and temple and hopefully more answers.

**Shadya's Rest, Mithren**

The town of Shadya’s Rest was beautiful, tranquil. It would have been difficult to determine that any disease or danger had come here. The streets were clean and nicely kept. The houses made from a mixture of what looked to be andesite, diorite, and sandstone. An enormous tree stood at the town's center; its branches adorned with slips of paper pushed into its cracks. Upon inspection, there were notes. Using his tricorder to decode the message, he realized it was a note to someone deceased loved one.

“It’s like a wailing wall,” Burke said slipping the note back into the crack where he’d found it.

“I do not understand,” Senua replied, looking slightly puzzled.

“On Earth, in the country of Israel, is a surviving section of the wall which in ancient times formed a part of the enclosure to Herod's temple. It’s a place where the Jewish people traditionally gather for prayer and religious lament. They also leave prayers and notes for the deceased like this,” He explained, indicating the scraps of paper.

“How unusual,” she stated, raising an eyebrow and eyeing the tree.

“Why? What do they do on Noss to honor the deceased?” He asked, genuinely curious.

“We don’t,” she answered simply.

Now he seemed confused, “No one cares about deceased loved ones on your world?”

“No one on Noss ever really dies. A part of their consciousness seeks out a close friend or family member after physical death and resides there, imparting a part of their knowledge to the bearer.”

“Must be nice,” he replied, feeling somewhat astonished by the idea.

“Fascinating,” Tuvok commented, “I would be interested to hear more about that process at a later date. However, we have a mission to complete.”

They nodded in agreement and began looking for the temple again. After finding someone to ask, they were directed to the other side of town to where the temple resided. When they arrived, they couldn’t help but be impressed by the level of intricacy and care provided to the ageless structure.

Ornate stone steps depicting ancient legends and battles adorned the long steep set of stairs. At the top were a set of large stone doors, magnificently chiseled and detailed. At its center spread across the set was the most impressive creation of what looked to be a man bathed in light and completely cloaked in a manner that reminded Burke of what the ancient Egyptian’s wore. In one hand he held a curved sword that was inscribed with writing none of them could read. In the other, he held what looked to be some kind of ancient timepiece. Behind him on one door were the bodies of the dead falling through the sky into a pit of liquid. The second door featured the dead rising up from the pit and ascending dressed in similar clothing the man wore holding curved swords of their own.

Lieutenant M'iarr lifted a massive clawed paw and applied gentle pressure to the door, it began to swing open at his touch.

“Impressive,” Tuvok commented lifting an eyebrow.

“Agreed,” M’iarr said as they went inside.

It was dimly lit with candles, and a boy knelt at the base of a statue depicting the same figure on the door, in prayer. The group waited patiently, as he appeared to be the only person in the room. Within moments he stood and turned to them, “Welcome to the temple of Hequt, may he bless you on your journey. I am his pilgrim Qherrun, how may this servant be of assistance?”

“We are here on behalf of your government in order to uncover information regarding the necromorph threat,” Tuvok answered, “Who may we speak with that can provide us the information?”

“Wait here, this servant will summon the Priestess Aya.”

He left. When he returned it was with a woman who greeted them in a manner similar to that of the boy. “I am Aya, Priestess of Hequt and guardian of the sacred texts. Qherrun has informed me of your request. However, this knowledge does not come without a price.”

“In what manner would you expect recompense?” Tuvok asked.

She smiled, “It is not I to who you would make the offering,” then gestured to the statue, “but to Hequt.”

“How would he expect this offering to be made?” He replied, eyeing her curiously.

“Only the person with the most to fear may make the offering, they must be willing to make their sacrifice in blood to attain the knowledge of the dead. He who is born in fear attains wisdom, so saith Hequt.”

“So saith Hequt!” The boy repeated.

Then an echo of voices to those they hadn’t seen or noticed began to shout out the same phrase.

“Which one of you will be willing to make this sacrifice?” She queried once the voices stopped and took a step forward.

“Me,” Burke said stepping forward.

The eyes of the group turned to him in curiosity and surprise.

“I will take you to the Requiem,” Aya stated and gestured for him to follow.

**Hermes**

Kathryn was going to kill him. This was the thought Chakotay had upon entering the holodeck with his son and two daughters. The next time they went skiing he told her they’d do so as a family, but the kids needed the distraction. Seven had actually organized the event after she’d learned how much the children loved it, and while the away team was on the planet there wasn’t much for them to do except sit and wait. 

Several members of the crew were already enjoying themselves on the slopes. Sian was a fast learner, but it seems that anything physical came naturally to her. Asa was doing well; he’d learned a lot from the last few times they’d gone and was ready to take on a bigger challenge. Chakotay played with Eva in the snow, trying to show and help her build a snowman. She seemed confused as the snow kept falling apart in her hands as she tried to place it on top of the large snowball, they’d rolled together to made the base. 

After the third time it happened, she looked up at him as if to say he’d given her inferior building materials and when will the joke be over. He couldn’t help but feel laughter bubble up at the expression, it was the same look as her mother’s. Other than the green eyes and platinum blonde hair, she’d given birth to a little duplicate of herself. She even had the same little crooked smile her mother would sometimes favor him with when she was amused.

Eva ran at him and threw herself into his arms, hugging him around the neck. She was definitely a daddy’s girl. Before he knew it, he felt something cold down the back of his shirt before he heard the scant giggle next to his ear. “Why you little…” he said trying to sound mildly threatening, but she knew better. He laid her down on the ground and began to tickle her under the arms and around her sides and belly. She laughed loudly and flailed her arms and legs wildly in the air as she attempted to get away from him. 

Laughing himself, every time she’d managed to get away, he’d pull her back gently by the leg or the arm and began tickling her again until he knew she had enough. Laying down next to her, he let her get her breath back before trying to show her how to make a snow angel. This seemed to interest her greatly and enjoyed trying to fit inside the angel he’d made as she waved her arms and legs up and down. 

She would push herself up to point at it and say, “Da, Da, Evie.”

“That’s right love, that’s you and me.”

When Seven came by to see how they were doing. Eva ran over to her and cried, “Sev-in! Up!”

She smiled and picked up the toddler as Chakotay walked over to join them. “How’s married life treating you?” 

“Very well, thank you, Captain,” she replied with a smile as Eva tugged on the collar of her jacket.

“Tell me if I’m getting too personal, but you and the Doctor and have married for a while now. Have you discussed any plans to expand your family?”

“We have,” she answered simply.

He chuckled softly, and raised his hands, “Okay, I get it. Too personal. I apologize.”

“Actually,” she said thoughtfully while looking at Eva, “we are expecting our first child in six months.”

He smiled, “Congratulations,” then considered the how.

“We chose a donor,” she answered, already having seen the question in his eyes, “All donations are anonymous. However, there are facts they do provide about the donor. We had many potential candidates to choose from. After narrowing down the list, we eventually chose a brilliant scientist who has won several awards for his work in horticulture. He is also a member of the Quester group.”

For just a brief second, Chakotay almost allowed his jaw to drop but managed to keep a neutral expression, “Sounds as though you and the Doctor made an excellent choice.”

“We’re quite pleased with the decision.”

“Has the Doctor come any closer to choosing a name for himself now that you’re about to become a family?”

“He is still considering several names. However, I did ask him to finalize a decision before the baby is born. I do want to put an actual name on the birth certificate.”

“Good thinking.”

“I hear congratulations are in order for you and the Admiral as well,” she said with a smile.

“Yes, however, you will be delivering a few months before we do. Any idea what you’re having yet or did you wish to keep it a surprise?”

“Since he insists on being my primary physician due to my unique physiology, we know it’s going to be a girl.”

“Have you decided upon a name?”

“Not yet. We have a list of potential names but are still weighing our options.”

Having noticed the quiet, Chakotay looked to his daughter who was now asleep on Seven’s shoulder. “I guess she was ready for a nap.”

“I can take her over to the ski lodge and wait with her until she wakes up if you like, so you can spend some time with your other children,” She offered.

“I don’t want to take you away from all the fun Seven.” 

“I don’t mind, I could certainly use the practice.”

He nodded, “If she wakes up and wants me, just let me know.”

“I will,” Seven said and picked up the diaper bag Chakotay had brought with him and began walking back to the lodge with Eva.

As Chakotay headed for the slopes, wondered what Kathryn would think once she learned that her ex-fiancé was the donor for Seven and the Doctor’s baby. Only time would tell.


	11. Chapter 11

**Medical Complex, Mithren**

The child who’d survived the Rot was a girl no more than five years old. Upon seeing her, she looked similar to her daughter Sian when she was near that age. What she wanted to do was take the child in her arms and provide comfort but resisted the temptation. However, she did sit down in the chair next to her bed and began to speak gently with her.

It reminded Victoria of her own visits with Kathryn Janeway when she was a young scared girl. Her heart seeming to be as large for the plights of children now as it was then. Taking Doctor Kroxin aside, she asked. “What will become of the girl once she has been released?”

“I’m not sure. Her family died on the Impeteux, we have yet to have located another family member at this time. If we are unable to locate anyone, she will be placed as a ward in the temple of Hequt.”

“Are there no families that would take her in?” She asked.

“It’s difficult to find families for children who are not the descendant of their own family’s line.” He answered sadly.

“Perhaps I can help with that.” She replied, give me some time to scout out the area. I’m sure I could find a family for her.” 

“If you believe you can then you have my full support.” Doctor Kroxin answered supportively.

She nodded, “Then I will see it done. What is the girl’s name?”

“Vellaen.”

Counselor Hamilton had joined Janeway in speaking with the young girl. She was too young to obtain any reliable information, but they wanted to try and help put her at ease. Victoria had indicated to the Admiral she wanted to talk to her for a moment. Janeway assured the girl she would return once she’d spoken to her friend. Once she and Victoria were out of earshot she said, “Admiral, I would like your permission to leave the complex and attempt to find a home for the girl Vellaen.”

“Is that her name?” Janeway asked.

“Yes, I have been advised that she will become the ward of the temple if a family is not found for her. I would like permission to try.” Victoria requested.

“The prime directive does not allow us to interfere with alien cultures.” Janeway pointed out.

“I am aware of the regulations Admiral. However, I have been given permission by Doctor Kroxin to make the attempt.”

She paused thinking. “I would certainly recommend caution, but if you’re determined to do this, I want you to take the Doctor with you just in case you run into a problem.”

“Yes Admiral,” she replied, and Janeway returned to the girl. Approaching the Doctor, she explained what she had in mind. It was then he suggested that they request access to the complex’s medical records, see if they can find a family member or distant relative. Agreeing with the suggestion, they were granted permission to access and search the records.

After they left the room, the girl said, “You seem like a nice lady. Do you think I’ll ever find a home?”

She smiled and stroked the girl’s hair, “We’ll do everything we can to help you find one,” the girl’s expression changed to one of sadness and doubt, “What is it?”

“It’s just…” she started, tears forming in her eyes, “…I miss my mom and dad. Why would Hequt let them die? Were they bad?”

Janeway couldn’t help but take the girl into her arms as she broke down, trying to offer her what little comfort she could. It reminded her of another little girl she built a relationship with many years ago, Kasima Ozea. It was a name she hadn’t thought about in a long time, but one that would still cross her mind every now and then. Briefly, she wondered whatever became of that girl, who she was now. Did she ever regain her sight? Did she have a family of her own now? She’d lost contact with her after her father and fiancé died on Tau Ceti Prime, she being the only survivor. 

Perhaps when she returned to the Hermes, she would try to look her up and see what became of her. Regretting she hadn’t reached out to resume their friendship after she’d worked through the trauma of that loss. She had thought of her as a little sister, felt closer to her than she did her own. She loved Phoebe, but their personalities and interests often clashed, making for a rocky relationship when they were young and into their teenage years. It wasn’t until they were both adults, they’d managed to cultivate a healthier relationship.

“No,” Janeway replied softly, “I’m sure they weren’t. I’ve learned that sometimes bad things happen to good people, and we don’t always get to know why. But, as long as you keep their memory alive, they will never truly be gone.”

The girl hugged her tighter as Janeway looked up to see Hamilton speaking with Doctor Kroxin, discussing Sobek and the idea of possibly speaking with him again after nightfall in order to observe how he behaved when the delusions began. For now, she stayed and comforted the girl and thought about the son she hadn’t met yet, and how she was going to keep him out of the grey man’s hands. 

**Temple of Hequt, Mithren**

“Stand down Commander,” Tuvok ordered, “You do not have the authority to make that decision.”

“Captain,” Burke argued, “We need the information. If it can tell us anything about these necromorphs and how they were created and why it may even tell us how to stop them. It would be foolish not to pursue it.” 

“You are speculating on the degree of information the text would provide. As the commanding officer present, I cannot allow you to make this decision based on a faulty premise. Logic would suggest that we explore other safer avenues to obtain the information.”

“What other avenues?” He questioned calmly, it wasn’t his nature to give in under pressure, “To my knowledge, we have no other leads to follow, and it seems unlikely anyone here knows more about this text other than the priestess. Unless you happen to have any other clues, you haven’t made us aware of.”

“I am afraid I do not. However, it is also unwise to place yourself needlessly in harm’s way based solely upon a belief that the potential information gained by this venture will provide us with any solid answers.”

Sometimes he disliked Vulcan’s, always imploring good sense when sometimes a situation wasn’t always about what was reasonable, or even logical, it was about gut feelings and instincts, a trait their race was unequipped to comprehend. “I understand the logic Captain, and what you’re saying makes perfect sense, I get that. But what I’m trying to convey to you is that we don’t have the luxury of time. We could try and take safer routes to explore any alternatives, in the meantime, the fleet is still vulnerable against another attack by the man in grey. Even with all your logic, we know that the chances to successfully repel any attack by him are greatly diminished after each encounter. If we don’t start taking some risks ourselves to stop him, we won’t survive. I may not be your first officer Captain, but as acting Commander of the Mercury, I have to tell you what I think. I’m no good to anyone if I don’t do that.”

Tuvok thought about what he’d said and gave the options a final weighing. “I cannot disagree with your logic in this instance. What you are suggesting makes sense from a tactical perspective and I admire your wisdom. However, I cannot allow you to make this sacrifice.”

“Captain I-” Burke began but Tuvok held up a hand to cut him off. 

“I will make the sacrifice.”

“Captain, you heard what she said,” Senua reminded, “The person who participates has to be the one with the most fear and make the sacrifice in blood. I do not pretend to know you well Captain, but I do not believe you are that person.”

“Do not mistake composure for ease Commander. Vulcan emotions are extremely volatile. They are always there, far below the surface. It takes an extraordinary amount of discipline to master control over them,” he explained, and she nodded.

Looking to Aya he stepped forward, “I am prepared to make the appropriate offering.”

She gave him a warm smile, “Then let us begin. This way,” and gestured behind her. In silence, he followed.

**Medical Complex, Mithren**

Sobek was strapped to his bed, screaming. They didn’t want to take the chance of him accidentally hurting himself or others, mistaking someone in the room as one of his delusions.

“What do you see?” Hamilton asked firmly.

“NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!” He screamed, pulling against the restraints, “YOU'RE NOT REAL! YOU’RE NOT REAL!”

“Focus Sobek!” Hamilton tried again, “Tell me what you see.”

His daughter’s once sweet innocent face was now deeply lacerated as blood ran from the wounds, as was the rest of her body. “You told them about me, about us. You shouldn’t have done that. The grey man says you have to be punished for your carelessness.” His eyes flashed up to the grey man standing behind her then back to her face. “He says that you have to be silenced.” Raising her hand to his neck, two tubules shot forth and pierced his neck.

“What are you doing?” He asked, his voice filled with fear.

“What’s happening?” Hamilton asked, trying to get his attention.

“You’re going to be assimilated, Daddy. You managed to escape the Borg once, but eventually, we all become one with the collective. Mommy knew this, I know this, and now you will too.”

“I’m sorry,” He said, tears along with deep regret and pain in his eyes, “I shouldn’t have left you and Mommy to them. I should have tried to save you both.”

“What you’re seeing isn’t real Sobek. Your daughter isn’t here. The man in grey is trying to trick you, don’t let him.” Hamilton pleaded.

***

Janeway had fallen asleep, not realizing when or how it had happened. The last thing she remembered was sitting in the chair next to the girl Vellaen’s bed. Having promised her she would sit with her until she was asleep. Now she was lying in bed with her husband Chakotay, with no knowledge of how it could have happened, feeling confused by the sudden shift in her surroundings.

He was between her legs, moving against her, his warm soft lips pressed against her neck. This couldn’t be happening. Could it? The way he touched her, felt inside her, all of it felt absolutely real. It couldn’t be a dream. Was it even possible? 

“You feel so good.” He moaned against her ear.

She could feel his hot breath tickling her neck and shoulder, hear him panting softly as his hips moved against her in a comfortable rhythm. His gentle, yet firm hands, gripping her thigh and caressing the side of her neck. She could feel herself wanting to give in, to lose herself in the pleasure she was beginning to feel, the pleasure he’d always made her feel when they came together like this. 

She could feel the contours of his back, the way his hair felt in her hand. He felt incredibly real and present. It was getting harder to resist the temptation to fully commit to the experience, to deny herself the option not to submit to the pleasure he was making her feel. “Chakotay I can’t-“ He silenced her with a kiss.

His lips moved confidently and with familiarity against her mouth as if he knew all the ways she loved to be kissed. He was drawing her in, and she was losing herself in all the sensations he was overwhelming her with. She couldn’t deny that her heart secretly desired this, always giving her something to look forward to between those moments when duty and responsibility consumed the bulk of her thoughts. 

He pulled back, leaving her gasping as his hips continued to move confidently against the core of her desire, bringing her one step closer toward completion. Her eyes opened, and the face she saw horrified and disgusted her. 

“I will take your baby,” the grey man said. 

“NO!” She screamed and pushed as hard as she could against him. “Get off of me!”

“You will give him to me.”

“Stop!” She cried as she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block him out. Then felt a sharp pain in her abdomen, as if something were trying to pull her child out of her, “You can’t have him!” It was almost agony. She forced her eyes to open and locked onto his, “He’s mine!”

The grey man flew up quickly and violently to the ceiling. Hitting it with enough force that it sent out spider-like fractures along the bulkhead. She felt a sudden surge of rage, her eyes boring into him as he stayed pinned to the ceiling. “I am coming for you predator. I will not be your prey,” she said in a deep deadly tone. 

It felt as if she could kill him with a thought, a word, but lacked the knowledge or the strength. Had she possessed it, would have been more than tempted to use it. This was a kind of rage she’d never felt before, almost as if she were siphoning part of it from another source. 

The ceiling shattered, and her eyes snapped open as a loud gasp escaped her lips. The girl in the bed beside her was huddled in fear under the blanket. Kathryn could feel a massive cramp in her abdomen as if some muscle there had been overused. She placed her hands against it, Kes’ words coming back into her consciousness, reminding her of the emotional and psionic link she and her son shared. “It's alright now little one, we’re safe. You can calm down now and relax,” She spoke softly. After a few moments, the cramp began to ease, the rage and anxiety beginning to leave her body. 

Looking to the girl she said, “I’m sorry I frightened you. I was just having a bad dream, but I’m better now,” then offered her a smile. Slowly, the girl returned it.

***

Sobek’s body began to jerk uncontrollably as if he were having a seizure. His hands were balled into tight fists, his mouth opening impossibly wide, then wider still. There was a cracking sound as the bone snapped and his jaw hung loose. His eyes had gone wide in anguish and terror before the light began to leave them.

“Dear God!” Hamilton cried, repulsed by the inexplicable action and found himself stepping back, as was Doctor Kroxin, his face frozen in horror.  
They couldn’t see the grey man as he pulled apart the man’s jaw in rage. His prize denied him a second time. Janeway and the child had stopped him from accomplishing his task, the first being the meddlesome girl he’d met years ago. She had placed a safeguard to alert the child to his deception and made it impossible for him to grow then draw the child out of her. He was becoming unhinged, his desperation to ensure the continuation of his work was slipping further out of reach. She would not fall for that trick again, he knew. He would need time to think, to reconsider a new strategy, but time was going short. 

**Temple of Hequt, Mithren**

Tuvok followed the woman, his powers of observation continually at work. He did not know what to expect, or what he would have to do now that he’d made this agreement. Reaching the end of a corridor, the Priestess Aya turned toward him and gestured to a simple plain wooden door. 

“This is where the offering must be made. However, you must go in empty-handed to symbolize the trust you have in Hequt’s will to protect and enlighten you.”

“I am unfamiliar with the history of Hequt, but I will do what is required.”

She smiled, “Hequt will provide you with everything you need. From there, it will be up to you as to how you use it,” She moved to what looked to be a formidable metallic box sitting in a recessed portion of the wall next to the door, “You may place all that you have brought with you in this box. It will be sealed, the biochemical lock will only open to the one who activates it. Once you have done this, we can proceed,” She turned her back to him, offering privacy.

Tuvok placed his phaser and tricorder in the box then waited. 

“And the clothing. You must present yourself, in the same manner, you entered this life.”

He did not feel embarrassed but could sense the emotion below the surface as he stripped off his uniform and placed it in the box as well.

“Close the box and seal it with your thumbprint,” she instructed, and he did, “Now, open the door and go inside. If it is Hequt’s will, we will see you in again in several hours.”

“How will I be made aware that the offering is sufficient?”

Again, she smiled, even though he couldn’t see it. “You will know,” she assured. 

His hand reached out and grasped the antiquated handle and pressed down on the lever with his thumb. There was a soft mechanical click before the door opened to allow him access. Pushing it open he heard her say softly, “May Hequt walk beside you,” He only gave a slight nod and entered. 

The temperature would have been considered hot to most humanoids, but Tuvok found it to be quite comfortable, not unlike what he was used to on Vulcan. He was surrounded by sand, in the distance was a massive structure. Looking down, he noticed he was dressed in a light white linen garb that wrapped around his body and held together by a thick leather belt. His feet were adorned with simple leather sandals, over his head a cucullate that could be used to protect his head from the sun along with other elements of the environment, such as sand particles which the wind blew up to sting at his eyes, nose, and mouth. His wrists and calves were wrapped in thick leather, providing some protection. On his belt was a curved sword like the one he’d seen on the door of the temple, on the other side was the same strange timepiece the chiseled figure on the door had been holding in his other hand. 

He was uncertain as to what its purpose was but was certain that if the item possessed any unique properties it would eventually reveal itself. Looking behind him the door was gone, only an endless landscape of sand remained. He turned back toward the structure and began making his way toward it. 

***

Burke had notified the Admiral of their current circumstances. She never said or indicated that the situation he described either bothered or upset her in any way, it was almost as if she were distracted. He gave her their current location and advised him that she would meet them there. “That was odd,” he commented after she’d terminated the connection.

“What was?” Senua asked, slightly curious by the statement.

“The Admiral, she seemed…different,” He didn’t know how else to describe it, “More detached maybe? I’m not sure.”

“Perhaps her attention was being divided. We do not have any idea as to what may have occurred after we departed in search of the temple,” She offered.

“You could be right,” he agreed, but his gut was telling him otherwise. Something about that brief conversation didn’t sit right with him, but he’d have to let it go for now. There was no point speculating about something he didn’t have all the facts about. Once she and her team arrived, he’d know for sure if it was a one-off or if something more was happening.

**The Requiem**

The sand had been captured and lifted by the strong wind, stinging his skin and eyes the closer he got to the structure. He was still quite some distance away from it but felt something was trying to keep him away. The timepiece on his belt made a low humming sound, if it wasn’t for the vibration, he might not have noticed it. Stopping, he pulled it from his belt and turned his back from the wind to look at it. The face was glowing with a dim blue light. He wasn’t sure what it meant. Was it a warning? A message? A communication device?

As he stared at the object, attempting to ascertain its meaning, it began to glow brighter. He began to wonder if the object was going to explode. Before he could take further action, heard a sound of rushing feet through sand behind him. Had it not been for his superior hearing he would have missed it. Turning, he came face to face with a necromorph.

It moved incredibly fast, even over the sand, causing him to wonder how quickly it could have moved had it not be encumbered. Pulling the sword from his belt he held it above his head, keeping the blade pointed in its direction and took up a wide fighting stance, allowing him to change direction if necessary, his left-hand thrust out in front of him providing flexibility and balance, waiting for the creature to move within striking range. 

It lunged out its arm, and with quickness and precision, Tuvok brought down the sword and cut it cleanly in half as he performed a spin which allowed him to get behind the creature. Swinging the sword high he connected with his target, the creature's head, and severed it from its body. It slumped forward but didn’t fall. Slowly it turned toward him as Tuvok took several steps back. It was regenerating, just as Sobek claimed in the report. He had slowed down the creature but didn’t stop it. 

The timepiece began to emit a high-pitched whine, the blue glow almost blinding when he glanced down at it. Keeping his eye on the creature, he pulled it from his belt. As he held it, the object began to direct his hand toward the monstrosity, putting itself between them. The creature began to head toward him again, building speed quickly. He wanted to pull away and begin the process over, see if he could determine any weakness, but his hand would not allow him to let go, keeping the timepiece between them like a barrier. Once it was upon him, he felt a surge of fear for the first time in many years, seeping through his highly disciplined mind and into every facet of his being. He was completely helpless due to the objects hold over his arm’s motor functions. 

The end of the creature’s arm was a long white bone, shaped in such a fashion that it looked more like a giant claw, and sharp. It could easily impale him, and this was what he believed would occur when he saw it descend rapidly toward his face. Suddenly it stopped, frozen, but it wasn’t just the creature, everything around him appeared to be in a state of suspended animation. The high-pitched whine of the timepiece grew louder, higher, his hand vibrated as it grasped the object. He assumed an explosion was to follow. A blue pulse shot out, hitting the creature when it did, everything around him came back to life. The creature exploded immediately, sending out a shower of blood, flesh, and bone. 

The timepiece fell silent and found he could move his hand and arm again. The intense fear he was feeling receded, allowing him to re-establish control over his emotions. The adrenaline the feeling produced was quite present and would be for some time. Putting the timepiece back onto his belt, he turned back toward the structure and pulled the cucullate over his face once more before resuming his journey.


	12. Chapter 12

**Temple of Hequt**

Admiral Janeway arrived with Counselor Hamilton. The Doctor and Victoria were left back at the medical complex to continue their search for a family member of the young girl. Senua watched her closely, just as Burke and M'iarr were doing. Attempting to ascertain for herself if there was something off about the Admiral and noted how she seemed to be keeping herself guarded, especially her emotions, her defensive walls erect and fully in place. 

“Report,” she ordered upon reaching the small group.

“Captain Tuvok has been taken to something called the Requiem,” Burke answered.

“How long has he been in there?” She asked, appearing quite calm, assimilating the information. 

“Almost an hour,” he replied. She had never been exactly friendly based on all previous interactions, not to suggest that she couldn’t be, but usually maintained a professional distance. On occasion, he had seen her let her guard down with those she knew, as were most people. Maybe it was just her way, he reckoned. It wasn’t exactly like they were best friends; he didn’t know her personally, but the way she was behaving now seemed usual, even for her. She was in full admiral mode, and it wasn’t clear as to the reason for it.

“Where is the Priestess Aya you mentioned?”

“She hasn’t returned yet,” Senua answered.

“Do any of you know what this offering entails or why it was even necessary?” She asked patiently. 

Senua raised an eyebrow, “Admiral, may I have a moment?”

Janeway only stared at her for blankly for a few seconds before giving her a nod, then followed her over to a quiet space near the door, “What did you need to tell me that couldn’t wait for a more appropriate time?”

“Something happened at the medical complex after we left. I do not want to overstep my bounds, Admiral-”

“Then don’t,” she interrupted. 

It was the first real sign of emotion, only a hint, but there nonetheless, “I am not the only one who has noticed a change in you. Commander Burke and Lieutenant M'iarr have also made similar comments on it.”

“Whatever change you believe may have taken place is irrelevant and does not pertain to the current situation. I appreciate your concern Commander, but I believe our time would be better served by dealing with our present circumstances instead of discussing any perceived change you or anyone else believes has taken place. There are more important matters to attend to.” She replied professionally and returned to the group, not bothering to entertain the discussion further. 

“Commander Burke,” Janeway began, rejoining the group, “Can you please answer my previous question.” 

She was trying to focus her thoughts better. What the grey man was doing after opening her eyes and finding him on top of her instead of her husband left her feeling violated, angry, impure. As if there weren’t enough baths or sonic showers in the universe that could make her feel clean again. She had forced herself to suppress those feelings until she could deal with them on her own turf and in her own time, her son continuing to amplify any extreme emotion she was feeling, or in this case, not feeling. It was leaving her to experience an odd kind of detachment, everything had taken on a kind of dreamlike quality as if she were more of an observer rather than a participant. It was difficult letting this particular feeling go. To do so would invoke a reaction she wasn’t prepared or equipped to deal with yet.

He seemed taken off-guard for a moment by her directness, but answered, “In order to retrieve the ancient text that specifically speaks about the necromorphs, a very specific offering had to be made to the God of this temple, Hequt. I originally volunteered, but Captain Tuvok overrode that decision, believing he was better suited to comply with their particular requirements.”

“And what were those?” 

“The Priestess said that the person with the most to fear may make the offering. That they must be willing to make their sacrifice in blood to gain the knowledge of the dead. Whatever that may really mean I don’t know.”

“It means,” Senua answered, “most likely, as I have read in relation to the rituals or sacrifices made in many other cultures, that it will require either his death or possibly a near-death experience.” 

The thought had crossed his mind, but it did no good to acknowledge it. The Admiral seemed to appear unphased at first, then as the information began to slowly dawn on her, her expression changed to one of fear and deep concern. 

“Why didn’t any of you tell me what was happening before this decision was made, as I instructed?” She questioned; her eyes were penetrating as they moved around the group.

She was of average height, and a petite woman, but the presence she exuded could fill any room, making her appear much more intimidating and threatening than what her stature would have suggested. Burke and M'iarr visibly shrank from her gaze, Senua appeared unphased, and Hamilton was just glad he wasn’t the one she was staring at. 

“I apologize, Admiral,” Senua said, her hands clasped behind her back, “you are right of course, we should have consulted you before allowing Captain Tuvok to make that decision.”

“Yes, you should have,” she agreed, “However, we don’t have time to worry about that now, but I will recommend that all of you review Starfleet regulations and procedures regarding away missions once you return back to your ships.” 

When she said recommend, it meant you will, and they all knew it.

“Now we have to find a way to deal with this. Any suggestions?” Janeway asked, her expression and tone softening.

“I do,” Hamilton said, “but you’re not going to like it.”

**The Requiem**

Each time he faced another necromorph the timepiece seemed to not only come to life but warn him of their presence. He’d learned to pay close attention to it, having saved his life on more than one occasion on the journey here. 

Reaching his destination, he could sense the change in himself immediately. He was afraid, not just afraid, it was a terror, unlike anything he’d ever known. It was as if the mere presence of the imposing structure had the power to draw out all his fears, his doubts. His mind was telling him to run, to turn and flee. But flee where? There was nothing here except this and sand. He was frozen to the spot, unable to move until he heard a voice coming from a large artificial tunnel to his right.

Ocin couldn’t believe his eyes. He thought he was the only one who had survived. “Brother, where did you come from?” He asked moving toward him but stopped once Tuvok turned and placed the sword between them. It was then he noticed he was not one of his people. “You are not Mithren.”

“No, I am Captain Tuvok of the Federation Starship Voyager,” he said, the new focus in attention allowing him to circumvent some of his fear.

“Why are you dressed as a Concinnate?” He questioned warily.

“I do not know what you are speaking of.”

“One of my order. You are wearing our clothing, baring the Horologium and weapon.”

“I appeared dressed in this manner after I entered the Requiem through the temple of Hequt,” Tuvok explained.

The man relaxed slightly and nodded in understanding, “You are here to make an offering.”

Tuvok was surprised, “How could you know that?”

“Because this,” he answered, his arms raised and turned in a slow circle, “is where all come to make such offerings.” 

He couldn’t be, could he? “Are you Hequt?”

The man smiled and shook his head, “No, only a follower. I too have also made such an offering once to learn the secrets of the dead.”

“The necromorphs.”

“Yes, this is where a copy of the ancient text resides, it is the home of the necromorphs. Until now, no one has ever been able to reach this place other than the Requiem. This planet has been hidden for centuries until several months ago. The man in grey controls the remnant, we did not know that until recently.”

Tuvok wasn’t certain how much of the man’s story he was willing to accept, but after what he’d just been through, toppled with the fear he’s feeling was getting in the way of his logic. “The remnant?” 

“It is an old, older than all our civilizations. The man in grey, Marrku has controlled it for centuries. My order tracked him here along with the necromorphs to this place to finally put an end to him. However, all were killed by the defense grid except me.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you are here to make the offering. You are aware of the necromorphs, of Marrku and the text and have been placed here by Hequt to seek out his knowledge of the dead. I may be the last of my order, but he has sent me aid in my time of need, you. You must help me destroy the remnant and end his control over the necromorphs or all will perish. And if we can, destroy Marrku himself.”

He hadn’t considered all the ramifications of his actions when he volunteered himself in place of Commander Burke what the offering might cost him or even what it entailed but knew he would not allow him to make a sacrifice he was so clearly unequipped to handle. He was also having doubts about his own ability to face down his fear and obtain the information the fleet needed. He also found a question coming to mind, one that logic finally allowed him to make. “Why did your order not come though the Requiem to face him?”

“It only allows one person at a time to pass through the veil. The one inside can only leave one of two ways before another can take their place. Find an exit or die.”

This made Tuvok feel worse, not better. “I don’t know if I can help you. I’m too afraid.”

The man smiled knowingly, “He who is born in fear attains wisdom, so saith Hequt. You have been born in fear, your trek across the waste and the necromorphs you faced to get here have shown you a life beyond death. Now it is time to attain wisdom. Come with me, and we will find it together, Brother of Concinnate.”

“I am not a member of your order.”

“You are mistaken. All who make it this far in spite of their fear instead of succumbing to it become Concinnate, Hequt has chosen you, so I welcome you brother,” he said holding out his hand to him.

His fear was there, his doubts, but he had accomplished something he hadn’t thought possible after he’d faced down the necromorphs and found his way here, the ability to function and overcome without the complete use of his logic. Lowering the sword, he stepped forward and allowed the man to grasp his forearm, Tuvok returned the gesture, “I do not believe in Hequt.”

Ocin laughed heartily, “That doesn’t matter. He believes in you. Nothing more is required.”

Tuvok gave a nod and released his arm, “How should we begin, Brother?” 

**Temple of Hequt**

Hamilton sighed softly, knowing that what he was about to recommend would not sit well with the Admiral, Captain Tuvok was one of her oldest friends. He could see her staring at him, waiting patiently for an answer, finally, he gave her one.

“We do nothing,” he said simply.

She didn’t seem to grasp what he was suggesting at first. Her eyes fixed on him blankly. Slowly, the dawn of understanding had broken through the fog of detachment and understood him perfectly, “Unacceptable.”

“Admiral, we don’t know anything about the Requiem or precisely what this offering or sacrifice specifically entails. It’s all conjecture at this point. If we attempt to interfere in any way, we may be doing more harm than good. I know Captain Tuvok is your friend as well as a Starfleet officer, and he wouldn’t want anyone to risk their lives further by attempting to interfere with his decision. He wasn’t coerced from what I’ve heard, he came to this decision willingly, understanding he was taking a risk. Do you doubt his ability to rationally and logically decide on what he believed was an appropriate course of action?”

She said nothing at first, thinking it over. She didn’t doubt his logic to decide what was best in the moment, but she had had this conversation with him before when he attempted to act as her conscience to obtain a piece of technology that may have allowed Voyager to traverse thirty thousand light-years toward the alpha quadrant when all other attempts to obtain the item through proper channels had failed. He had taken a risk then too, one that had deeply disappointed her when she so clearly needed his logic and wisdom to do the right thing. To be her conscience when she needed her moral compass checked.

Now he had made another decision to put his life at risk in order to attempt to obtain the information the fleet needed to put a stop to the necromorph threat. But could she really stand here and damn him for it? How many times had she put her own life at risk in order to protect her crew? More times than she was comfortable admitting to herself. Maybe that was just part of the job of being the captain, to have the final say on who’s life you decide to risk, even if it's your own. It was the first time she was on the other side of the fence. 

An Admiral wasn’t generally put into a position that allowed for those kinds of risks, and it was part of their job to make sure the people who served under them didn’t take them either. She was responsible for the whole picture now, not just her little portion of it. What Tuvok had done was no different than what she would have if their positions were reversed. She had learned over time that her thinking had to change in order to be successful and take on the monumental responsibility of overseeing a fleet, realizing that she could no longer play by the same rulebook she’d always used. 

“Alright Counselor, we do nothing for now. We’ll wait and see how this plays out. But I want someone posted here around the clock to keep an eye on the situation. If we find that Captain Tuvok needs our help I want to be notified immediately. Is that understood?”

“Yes, Admiral.” They all confirmed.

“Make the arrangements and return to the transport site. All of us need some time to rest and replenish ourselves in case we need to take any further action. Dismissed.”

Commander’s Ostad and Burke stepped away to make contact with their ships, making arrangements as the Admiral instructed. Lieutenant M’iarr stayed put to continue the watch until a replacement could arrive. Counselor Hamilton stayed by the Admiral’s side to escort her back to the transport site. Janeway made a call to Victoria and the Doctor, advising them to return back to the ship, which they acknowledged.

When they were almost to the transport site Hamilton said, “I know something happened while we were at the medical complex Admiral. I could tell by your body language when Doctor Kroxin and I came in to tell you about Sobek,” she said nothing, “Keeping your feeling bottled up isn’t the best way to deal with them. I’ve been advised on your aversion to counseling.”

“That’s not entirely true Counselor, I have spoken with a couple from time to time. One of them is a dear friend.” She answered plainly.

“Are they here now?” He asked.

She didn’t dignify the question with a response.

“Look, I know we don’t know each other very well, and I’m aware that you’re a very private person. It’s never easy to open yourself up to someone, especially under those conditions, but I would recommend that you at least consider the idea,” he suggested, not unkindly.

“Someone has already recommended my speaking with you.” She said as they reached the transporter site. Giving the order to the Hermes, they were beamed up and were now stood on the transporter pad. When she stepped down and exited the room, he stayed with her. “I’ve been debating on whether I should take the recommendation.”

“I see,” he said, “come to any decisions?”

Stepping into the turbolift, she ordered it to take them to deck seven. The order confused him; her quarters weren’t on that deck.

“Where are we going, Admiral?”

“Your office,” she answered, giving no further information.

When the turbolift stopped, they walked the rest of the way in silence. Entering his office, he called for light and invited her to sit, which she did. Taking the seat across from her, he waited for her to speak first.

“You’re right, something did happen while you were with Sobek,” she began, still feeling detached, it was the only way she could get the words out, “The man in grey came to pay me a visit after I’d fallen asleep in the chair, and I’m not quite sure how to explain what happened, but I need deal with this before I see my family.”

He nodded, “Why don’t you start wherever you feel comfortable.”

She took a breath, considering how to begin, feeling too mentally drained and physically tired to take any approach other than a direct one. Looking him straight in the eye she said, “He raped me, and tried to take my child.”

Hamilton did not doubt that she fully believed what she was saying but didn’t quite understand how that was possible since he wasn’t in the room, “Please don’t take this the wrong way Admiral, because I understand how much this admission is costing you emotionally. But how?”

She gave him a slight nod of understanding, “He invaded my mind, tried to make me believe that the man I was being intimate with was my husband. It was him all along, trying to distract me as he attempted to take my child out of me.”

This was certainly a new one for him but understood the complex emotional and psychological toll associated with that level of trauma in regard to both situations. “When did you become aware of what was happening to you?”

“I had suspected something was wrong from the beginning, and I continued to question it for some time until…” Her words trailed off.

“Until?” He encouraged; he wasn’t going to make any assumptions.

“You have to understand something Counselor, I love my husband, more than I’ve ever loved anyone in that way. When we are together like that its…” she paused, trying to determine how she wished to describe it, “otherworldly, I don’t have a better metaphor at the moment. So over time, it became impossible not to give in. He took advantage of that knowledge and used it against me. At some point, I opened my eyes and saw that it was him on top of me.” 

She was still relaying the information in the same detached manner, and he didn’t have to know her well in order to understand that this was the only way she could be so completely honest, otherwise it would have taken weeks or months to make her comfortable enough to want to disclose it. 

“I can only imagine how violated you must have felt, frightened, angry. Those feelings are perfectly natural given the circumstances. However, what you’re doing now, trying to suppress them isn’t going to help you work past it. It’s a temporary solution at best,” He advised.

“I know,” She replied softly with a sigh, “I’m afraid that if I let go, I won’t know how to stop.”

“That’s why I’m here. To help catch you,” He said, giving her a slight smile, “No one was meant to deal with those kinds of feeling alone. We all need help sometimes, whether we wish to admit it or not.”

“And my son?”

He wasn’t even aware she was pregnant until she’d told him, but he’d had years of experience to fall back on when dealing with surprising details, “He will be just fine. If it makes you feel any better, we can pay a visit to sickbay and have the Doctor run some tests.”

“I apologize for not making myself clear Counselor, but my son seems to possess some unique abilities I was not made aware of until recently. Did you ever meet Kes while she was here?”

“No, I never had the pleasure, but wasn’t she a member of your crew years ago when you were stranded in the delta quadrant?”

She nodded, “She developed some very powerful psionic abilities that were putting Voyager in danger and decided to leave to further explore them. She claims to have the ability to unlock certain talents that apparently lie dormant in all of us. For reasons of her own, she unlocked those abilities in all my children, and this one,” she said placing her hands over her stomach, “seems to possess an extremely powerful psionic ability that the grey man wants. He is dying she says and wants to groom my child as his replacement. She put what she called safeguards in place to keep him from taking him directly, it’s probably the only reason why he didn’t.”

He didn’t quite know how to reply to that, much less what to advise, but had to make an attempt, “Are you worried that it won’t be enough?”

She nodded; an overwhelming number of tears flooded her eyes without warning. Causing her to choke with emotion. He let her be for a moment, overriding his natural response to immediately comfort her, sometimes offering comfort right away only served to make the person feel worse, not better, especially from someone you barely know. If he knew her well, might have done the opposite.

Suddenly she stood up and screamed in rage, her whole body was shaking, her face and neck turning red. The unexpected turn of events startling him and almost made him fall back in his chair. It took a few seconds to get his wits about him before pushing himself up. She had stopped screaming by then, but his heart felt as though it were beating out of his chest. “You have every right to be enraged by what he did, but I’d rather you not pop a blood vessel. I’m not telling you to stop being angry, only to rein it in a bit.”

Janeway listened to what he was telling her and knew if she didn’t do as he’d recommended, she probably would give herself an aneurysm. Her body dropped back down into the seat, feeling even more tired than she did already. When she felt a little calmer said, “I won’t keep this information away from my husband. He has the right to know, I’m just not sure how to tell him.”

“I won’t lie to you. It will be painful for him, regardless of how you say it. When you love someone, any horrible thing that happens to them hits you harder. He will be angry, he will get upset, he will be concerned about you and how you’re feeling. Most of all, he will most likely feel helpless because there will be this irrational belief he could have prevented it somehow. When you do tell him, and I recommend doing it sooner rather than later, do it when the two of you are alone and your children aren’t nearby. I’m pretty sure you already knew that, but it doesn’t hurt to reiterate it.”

“No, it doesn’t hurt to do that,” she agreed softly, “I have to admit that I do feel somewhat better, and I want to thank you for listening. I’m sure I don’t have to remind you that this conversation is confidential.”

“No Admiral, you don’t,” and gave her a brief smile, “but I want you to know that my door is open any time you need to talk.”

“I may take you up on that again. For now, I think both of us need food and rest,” she said before standing, “Goodnight Counselor.”

“Goodnight Admiral, sweet dreams.”

She hesitated at the door for a moment and replied, “Yes, you too,” and left. 

**Hermes**

Victoria and the Doctor had searched through nearly every record to find a family member for Vellaen and was coming up short. She wasn’t going to leave her abandoned to the temple, having made its intimate acquaintance, knowing how it felt to be discarded by the very person who was supposed to love you no matter the circumstance. If it wasn’t for Kathryn, she wasn’t sure how those first few months would have turned out.

She and her ward Helen Smith were never close. There was always a false kindness with her as if she were there out of a sense of obligation only. It hadn’t taken Victoria long to figure out while she was learning to navigate her new world. 

Kathryn was the only person she ever really felt close to, and as a child, she had hoped that she would take her into her family, but like all childish dreams, they’re never based on reality. Kathryn was like a child herself in some ways, she may have been a woman of eighteen, but her heart was still filled with wonder, the excitement of space travel, and an unyielding passion for science. There were so many things she wanted to do with her life and taking care of a traumatized young blind girl had not been on her list of things to do. 

Victoria had been extremely disappointed when time ran out and had to go with the ward, hoping Kathryn would step forward and volunteer to take on the responsibility, but it never happened. The reasons why had taken more than a couple of years to understand. It was too much to expect from anyone, the sacrifice required too great. She would have to learn to live her life separately from hers, there was no choice if she were going to find any semblance of independence and self-reliance in order to move forward. 

It had become one of the reasons why she never corrected Kathryn on the name change, even though she hated it. The name bringing back so many painful and confusing memories. It got to a point where she would ignore the name at the beginning of her letters to cushion herself from the pain. Her separation from Kathryn was another matter which had to be addressed separately but had found ways to cope. 

Victoria was determined to find someone who would come to care for the girl as much as her parents had, she didn’t want her to endure the same painful lessons she faced. It was hard enough having to deal with the loss of two loving parents only to find yourself left behind to face the wolves of Mithren alone. She would either find someone, or she would request to take on the responsibility herself. It was as simple as that.

*** 

When Kathryn entered the quarters, she shared with her husband and children, it was just after twenty-one hundred. The lights were dim, and soft classical music was lilting gently in the background. The table and living area were adorned with candles, two plates with matching utensils sat at opposite ends. Two delicate looking crystal flutes sat in front of each plate; a decanter of wine sat near its center. 

Chakotay exited the bedroom with a smile, dressed in casual clothing and came up to greet her with a soft kiss, his arms coming up to hold her around the waist. “Commander Ostad informed me you would be arriving soon and told me about Captain Tuvok. I’m so sorry baby, but if I know him, he’ll have already logically worked out what he needs to do and is implementing a solution. The delay may only be due to a matter of timing on his part,” he said stating the positives.

“Where are the children?” She asked quietly.

“Seven and the Doctor. I wanted to do something special for you when you got back to take your mind off things for a while. Seven volunteered to take them for the night,” he explained, making a mental note of the ever-growing tension in her body from the moment he touched her, “Go change into something comfortable and I’ll get dinner on the table.”

She didn’t argue and headed into the bedroom. Once inside, noticed the candles also extended from the living area into here as well. She gave a sigh and went to the closet to find something else to wear. He was keeping their options open; she knew that it wasn’t often they got to spend a romantic evening together anymore. She appreciated the gesture but didn’t think herself capable of going any further than just dinner. He needed to be told what happened to her, but at the same time didn’t want to ruin the experience for him. He’d obviously put a lot of thought and effort behind it. 

Her talk with Hamilton and the release of some of her more volatile emotions had helped a great deal, but it would take more time to come to terms with the experience, she knew. For now, she wanted to try and be as present and, in the moment, as she could be with him. This evening wasn’t just about her, he needed it as well. If only to pretend that everything was normal for a little while, and she needed a little normal, only if it was fleeting. 

Having changed into a simple shirt and pants, she reentered the room to find him putting dinner on the table. “What are we having?” She asked.

“Brown Rice Risotto with Mushrooms and Fresh Oregano,” He answered and pulled out her chair for her. 

“Sounds delicious,” she tried to say with as much enthusiasm as she could muster. Reaching the chair, she briefly cupped his cheek and gave him a smile before taking the seat he offered.

He’d already poured himself a glass of wine and was pouring her a glass of water. She cocked an eyebrow, “I already know about the pregnancy,” he said with a bit of humor in his tone.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you; I wasn’t trying to hide it.”

“I know, I think the information just got lost amongst the confusion of what was happening at the time with the grey man’s visions, so I’m not surprised you forgot to mention it,” he reached out for her hand and she placed it in his. Rubbing the back of her hand gently with his thumb, he gave her a soft understanding smile.

The mention of the grey man didn’t do much to help maintain control of her emotions but managed to keep the thoughts at bay. He could be too understanding with her sometimes, but loved him for it, “How did you find out?” She asked as their hands parted and they began to eat.

“Senua,” and the eyebrow rose again, making him laugh out loud, “It was that day you spoke with her on the bridge and she suggested you go to sickbay about your headache. The same headache I’d been trying to get you to take care of for three days,” he pointed out knowingly, causing her blush slightly, “I’d finally found a good opportunity to speak with her as you’d asked. Trying to discreetly question her as to whether or not she knew anything about how our feelings suddenly changed about trying for another baby.”

“And?”

“During our conversation, she mentioned the ability she had, then as we continued to talk it came out organically from there. Eventually, I asked her directly if she knew you were pregnant, she didn’t want to tell me but did confirm it. So, I didn’t know that long before you did probably.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you knew?” She asked somewhat surprised by the revelation. 

“Did it ever occur to you why I didn’t put up much of a fight about you’re transporting over to your quarters on the Mercury when it wasn’t necessary? I’m quite familiar with your mercurial nature Kathryn, it’s part of what keeps my life so interesting,” he replied with a smile.

“I did find it odd, but in the end came to believe that your meager resistance was your way of telling me that you needed the break as much as I did,” her expression revealed only a hint of deeper emotion.

“I can’t think of a time I ever need more than just an hour or two away from you, but I knew you needed the space to sort out all the thoughts and feelings in your head. It’s how you’re wired honey, it’s your way of being able to step back without distraction and really focus on how to resolve any major dilemma that has you stumped.”

Looking down, she pretended to readjust the napkin across her lap, trying to hide the smile which had crept upon her lips before looking up at him again, “One of these days I’m going to surprise you, sir. Then where would you be?”

“Along for the ride,” he answered with a soft laugh, which caused her to do the same.

The rest of the dinner went smoothly, relaxing into more comfortable and often humorous topics that kept them entertained over the years.

“Did I ever tell you about my previous first officer Commander Jezil Nivahn on my last trip to the delta quadrant?” He asked, still laughing from her previous statement.

She shook her head and took another sip of the chamomile tea he’d replicated for her, the smile still on her lips as she relaxed on the sofa. Her legs and feet resting across her husband’s lap, his hands stroking her feet and calves casually.

“She was Trill, just in case the name didn’t give it away. Anyway, she could be quite the nervous type when it came to the opposite sex’s affections. There were a few guys on board who were pursuing her, avidly. She knew I was a happily married man with a family, more importantly, she knew who my wife was,” Kathryn couldn’t help but give a slight chuckle, “She was a beautiful girl, and I wasn’t surprised by the amount of attention she was generating, but she seemed confused and frightened by it. During the last three months of the mission, she spent a lot of her off duty hours in my quarters.”

She raised an eyebrow, “Should I be worried?”

“Only if you think anyone but you could turn my head,” he answered with an amused smile. Was she actually jealous? He thought, “She used it as an excuse to hide out, knowing I didn’t have any interest in her. We would have dinner like we used to do on Voyager and talk,” he could see her beginning to frown slightly, “you know, you’re beautiful when you’re jealous,” he said, amused by how much this was getting to her.

“I am not jealous,” she said firmly, “merely concerned by how you let her use you as an escape instead of confronting these men with her feelings.”

“Uh Huh,” he said not buying it, making her flush slightly.

She moved her legs off his lap before getting up and crossing the room to recycle her cup. Turning toward him, she began to retort, but he was already there, his arms around her waist and his lips upon hers before she’d had the chance to say anything. She was stunned, her lips moving against his automatically and without thought. Lifting her up, he carried her into their bedroom and laid her down on the bed before joining to reacquire her lips again, the sureness of his hands touching her in all the right places.

He was making it impossible not to give in, to resist the pleasure he was making her feel. There was no voice in her head telling her not to do this, that she wasn’t ready, only an intense feeling of euphoria that was being generated by his actions and the amplification of her emotions. 

She tugged at his clothing, getting frustrated when it wouldn’t depart as quickly as she wanted. He was amused by her impatience and completed the task before finishing the removal of hers. Her hands reached up forcefully and pulled his face to hers and reacquainted him with her lips, kissing him with enough passion that had he been standing, would have fallen to his knees. 

“Oh God Kathryn,” he moaned once she’d let him up to breathe, “There’s no need to rush, we have plenty of time,” but he could see the demand in her eyes, making it clear that she needed him now. He gave her a slightly wicked smile which she returned as he threaded his arms under her knees and lifted them up, entering her at the same time he leaned forward. 

Arching her back, she gasped loudly, her hands reaching above her and sliding across the mattress to push the pillow off the bed, it would only get in her way. Her hands gripped the top of the mattress and began thrusting her hips up to meet his, her eyes opening partially before closing again, reveling in the way he was making her body feel. It was more intense than she could ever remember, every sensation felt heightened by a factor of ten. 

She could hear him moaning loudly above her, the way she was moving her hips against him, the sounds she was making only seemed to enhance his own feelings of gratification, “You are on fire tonight,” he finally managed to get out, “I’m not going to last like this.”

When he began to pull back to let go of her legs and shift his position, she opened her eyes and looked up, it was the worst mistake she could have made. The face of the grey man flashed across her mind’s eye, instantly reminding her of what he’d done. Her heart began to beat wildly in her chest, her breathing coming in shorter gasps, an intense feeling of anxiety had begun to overtake her as her hands rose and began slamming hard against his shoulders.

“Let me up. Let me up.” She wheezed; her chest felt constricted as if she weren’t getting enough air.

“Alright,” he answered, immediately moving off of her, a look of concern etched on his face, “What is it? What’s wrong?” He asked trying to reach out to touch her, but she slapped his hand away. He could see she was panicked, terrified, but didn’t know why. Her wide eyes darting around the room as her feet slid up and down across the sheets, her hands hovering slightly in front of her as if ready to fight off any attacker. Her chest rose and fell quickly, near hyperventilation. 

He moved a little further back, giving her some space, having no idea where any of this was coming from, “Calm down and breathe Kathryn. It’s Chakotay, your husband,” He said slowly and firmly, hoping the confidence in his tone would help calm and bring her back from wherever she was now. It took a bit of time, and a lot of reassurance, but eventually she calmed and came back to him. 

Turning her head, she whispered, “Chakotay?” As if she still weren’t quite sure he was real just yet.

He tried his luck and reached out to touch her, and this time it was accepted. He moved in closer and caressed her cheek with his thumb, “Welcome back,” he said softly and smiled. 

Her dark blue eyes welled with tears, and her chest heaved as she released a choked sob, the tears tracing a path across her face, following wherever gravity lead them.

“Oh baby,” he pulled her into the safety of his arms, feeling his heartache in the presence of her anguish, “I’m here now, you’re alright,” he said against her ear, rubbing her back gently and letting her cry as long as she needed to, “I’ll be here for as long as you need me. I have no plans to go anywhere.”

She cried for some time, unable to ebb the intense flow of emotions coursing through her. She would have to do something about this, she couldn’t run a fleet this way, hell she couldn’t run a two-man velocity team this way. Something had to change, she needed Kes to help dampen this emotional connection to her son somehow, or even reach out to Commander Ostad. Perhaps there was something she could do. 

He said nothing, just held her securely as the emotion swelled before meandering to a stop. She remained silent, unwilling and unprepared to speak until she’d gained some kind of control over herself, where she could explain what happened to him calmly and rationally. Eventually, he heard her breath begin to even out, realizing that the long steady rhythm indicated the presence of sleep. Covering them up, he took her back into his arms, knowing that whatever happened would have to wait until the morning before it could be discussed. For him, sleep did not come quickly.


	13. Chapter 13

**The Requiem**

Tuvok and Ocin had made their way inside the structure. The technology being used was far beyond anything he’d ever seen before. Invisible sets of stairs would appear from nothing, dead ends would open to reveal leaps of faith to other corridors. Rooms would change shape before leaving them, and there were the necromorphs. There were always more necromorphs. 

Ocin had explained what he knew of the Horologium, the timepiece they kept on their belts. It was a gift of Hequt, one that a fearful man had stolen from Marrku’s tower centuries ago which came to be known as The Last Battle of Aristaios. It was a time when the nightmares of the dead walked freely among mortals. Their souls twisted into horrible and monstrous creatures. According to the book of the dead, Aristaios had found the hidden entrance to the Requiem and used it to face him alone inside his fortress. His only possessions were a curved sword, the clothing on his back, and an overwhelming sense of fear.

He had learned to use that fear to his advantage knowing that if he gave into it everyone he ever loved would eventually succumb to a living death, including himself. It was a sacrifice he had to make, using his skills as a warrior and his love as a shield, made his way into the heart of darkness to either be consumed by fear or to attain greater wisdom in spite of it. 

After several hours he found his way to the tower, steeling the device which had called to him, the Horologium. Marrku had found him there and used all his technology and power against Aristaios. He had fought him to a stalemate, leaving Aristaios gravely injured by the end. Keeping the dead at bay until finally, a door opened, leading to what he believed to be another realm of reality. Using the last of his strength, Aristaios stumbled inside, not knowing if the door would lead to life or an even more horrific form of death. 

He fell from the sky nearly dead into a pool of blue-green liquid. It was then that God Hequt saw the poor man’s suffering, how his heart was pure and brought him back from the brink of death. Giving him the wisdom to vanquish the enemy of life and imbued the Horologium with the power to temporally stop time and destroy the necromorphs. 

Aristaios rose up from the pool to return to the tower he’d abandoned and faced Marrku again to resume the battle. This time he used the relic as he’d been shown, and severed Marrku’s control of the necromorphs by destroying the remnant before he was killed. The Horologium disappearing before Marrku could claim it. 

It was then he’d placed a curse on the Mithren’s, releasing the Rot which claimed so many more of their lives. With the remnant gone, he would have to build another, which would take centuries of work to recreate. He lay dormant for a time, resting in a type of sleep death for the next fifty cycles, regathering his strength to rebuild his masterwork and begin his search for an apprentice to carry on his legacy. 

Tuvok knew there was always a bit of truth inside a story, separating it from fabrication was often the most difficult to promulgate. He continued to follow Ocin up the stairs, making their way to the tower he’d just described. His logic was returning, but his fear was still there. He wanted this to be over, to destroy the remnant and find a way to leave. What they discovered with neither. They would have to keep searching.

Their search brought them to the lowest point of the fortress, the room found by the rarest of consciences. It was a copy of the book of the dead Ocin explained. Tuvok grasped it, knowing this was what he came for and tucked it into his clothing, using the belt to help keep it pressed against his body. 

“Ocin, we need to find a way out.”

“We can’t, not until we find the remnant and Marrku.”

“Have you ever read this book?” 

“Only parts of it.”

“Then it would be foolish not to read the entire text. It could explain how to accomplish what we both want without searching blindly for it, we should leave and come back when we are more prepared.”

Ocin was frustrated by Tuvok’s response. He wanted to end this now, that’s what he was sent here to do, “You don’t understand what’s at stake here!”

“I do understand, and if you are the last of your order and you die. Who will pick up where you left off? What you are suggesting is a needless death,” he tried desperately to explain, “Come with me, we will return together armed with the wisdom you say Hequt provides in these pages.”

“No!” If you leave, you do so on your own. I must complete the will of the Concinnate!”

“You are the Concinnate!” Tuvok pointed out, “You are the last one. It is up to you to decide the best way to defeat Marrku and to destroy the remnant. I do not believe your brothers and sisters would have asked you to die for it needlessly. They would want you to be prepared to face him. You told me that he who is born of fear attains wisdom. I came here born in fear, now I attain wisdom. It does no good unless we plan to study and use that wisdom to our advantage. Exit the Requiem with me, I have friends who can help us study this knowledge and return here by other means as you did. Let us not throw away this opportunity,” he pleaded.

Ocin considered his words. “If you’re wrong…”

“Then I am wrong. If we stay, we are dead. That is a fact, and there will be no one left to face Marrku who possesses the knowledge to defeat him. He will continue to use the necromorphs to not only control your world but many others. We must leave now while it is still possible.”

Ocin sighed and shook his head, “I cannot deny the wisdom of your words. Let us find the exit brother and return to your ship. Marrku’s time draws near, this time he will be defeated.”

“You have exited the Requiem before.” Tuvok asked, and Ocin nodded, “How did you escape?”

“Through the desert, there is a door that appears which will take us back to the temple. I do not know if we both can exit, only knowing that one may enter.”

“Then it is time we find out. Lead the way, brother.” Tuvok gestured to the door. With a slight smile, Ocin begins to lead them out.

***

When Chakotay opened his eyes the next morning, Kathryn wasn’t in bed with him. Rolling onto his back, he stretched, released a sigh, then allowed his eyes to stare unfocused up at the ceiling until they cleared up on their own. He didn’t know if she was still here or left early. It wouldn’t have surprised him if she had, what happened last night was frightening and confusing. He’d never seen her behave like that before, going from one extreme to another like that. 

“Computer locate Admiral Janeway,” he asked, just wanting to confirm his suspicions.

“Admiral Janeway is in her quarters.” It replied.

He should have been more specific he thought, then heard her voice. 

“I’m here Chakotay,” she said softly, entering the bedroom. 

Turning his head toward her, she was already showered and dressed, ready to start her day, “I just wanted to check on you.”

She said nothing at first, only moved slowly to the bed and sat down beside him, turning her body slightly toward him but not facing, her eyes were downcast as her hand fidgeted with the blanket, “I owe you an explanation,” she began, and didn’t get a reply. She could tell that’s exactly what he was waiting for, “and I know what happened last night doesn’t make any sense, but what I need to tell you might not make much sense either.”

“With everything we’ve done and seen I’m rarely surprised anymore,” he replied sitting up and reached across the mattress to capture the hand fidgeting with the blanket, “We don’t keep secrets from each other. Remember? Whatever is happening to you, has happened to you, I want to know about it because I love you.”

She knew he meant every word, and that’s what made this so much harder, “When I was at the medical complex on Mithren, the man in grey paid me a visit.” This seemed to really get his attention, she could feel the muscles in his hand begin to tense slightly, but said nothing, waiting for her to continue at her own pace, “he entered my mind and…made me believe I was with someone.”

That couldn’t have been vaguer even if she’d tried, “Who?”

“You,” she answered, then paused, trying to choose her words carefully as if there were some way to cushion the truth. She wanted to stop, spare him any further details. As her husband and the man she loved, the man she chose to spend her life with, start a family with, he had a right to know, “He…tried to make me believe I was with you,” She closed her eyes, feeling the strain of how hard this was to say, especially to him, “that we were being intimate.”

He squeezed her hand a little tighter but was trying to restrain himself. He didn’t want her to explain further, having a pretty good idea of where she was going with this. He didn’t want her to say the actual word. It was vulgar, shocking, the word alone having the immediate power of burrowing past his calm demeanor and wounding his heart. Invoking a rage, he hadn’t felt in years, not since he was a member of the Maquis. He’d seen firsthand the physical and phycological aftermath of what the Cardassians interrogation methods were to their female prisoners. 

“He violated you,” he finished for her, “sexually.” When she nodded to confirm, he felt himself starting to feel his self-control begin to slip and let go of her hand. He didn’t want to hurt her. His whole body started to go tense as he made his way to his feet and entered the living area. He didn’t want her to see him like this, the rage taking over as it seeped its way through his veins. 

She watched him leave the room, feeling numb, seeing the anger working its way inside him. There was nothing further she could think of to affluence his thoughts or feelings. There was nothing she could do to smooth the information over, make it less painful somehow. If there were a way, she would have already done it.

He disappeared around the corner, the next thing she heard was a rage-filled scream followed closely but a loud pounding. Startled by both, she rushed into the room to see him punching the bulkhead in the living room. Each time one of his fists landed a blow he released a loud grunt. She called out his name, asking him to stop before he really hurt himself, but he was too filled with rage to obey her commands and just kept hitting the bulkhead until his hands were swollen and bloody.

She stood by the bedroom door, frozen in disbelief and fear. She may have seen him angry before, but what she’d just witnessed went way beyond that. He found himself beginning to calm and stumbled back a few steps like a drunken insect, his initial rage exhausted and receding into a slow burn. “Chakotay,” she began walking toward him cautiously, “let me see your hands.” He was too tired to lift them, unable to comply. Reaching down, she lifted one mangled bloody appendage and gasped softly. It looked as if he’d broken and fractured every bone in his hand, she could only imagine the impact the blows made up his arms to his shoulder. The other side was most likely in the same condition. Looking up at the wall, he’d left bloody smears and a few small dents behind, which in some ways were impressive considering the strength of the alloy. 

“When I find that son of a bitch I’ll kill him with my bare hands,” the tone unmistakable. 

“We need to get you to sickbay,” she was more concerned with his injuries than anything else at the moment.

“I’ve seen what this does to people. I know what it costs them. How it affects the people who care about them. I never thought anything like this would happen to you,” there were tears forming in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall, “If you could only have seen yourself last night. How crazed and wild you were. I knew something horrific had happened, but I never suspected this.” He stood there staring at the bloodstained wall, “I want him dead Kathryn, and I don’t care if you think that’s right or wrong. He crossed one of the biggest lines you can cross with me. I would kill anyone who harmed you or our children. Their life is forfeit as far as I’m concerned. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, I do.” She answered softly, part of her feeling the same way, but knowing she would survive it, remembering what she and Deanna talked about when she was having trouble accepting the repeated rape of her counterpart. It made her angry enough to want to kill something too, understanding the feeling well. Over time, Deanna helped her cope with those feelings, and she was trying to implement those same techniques now even though the circumstances were different. It was helping some, but she was still a long way from making peace with it.

Stepping in front of him, she placed her hands on his chest and used her body to block the image behind her, causing him to direct his focus on her, “We’ll get through this, it will just take time. I know what I have to do to be okay with it, you, on the other hand, need to see Counselor Hamilton and talk to him. I’m relieving you of duty for now until you’ve had at least a day or two to speak with him and process this. You’re in no shape to run a starship right now. Commander Ostad can cover for you until then.”

She was surprised when he didn’t argue, only nod in understanding. “I would do anything to keep you and our children safe Kathryn, you know that.”

“I know, but I think we need to take a step back and reevaluate what we are able to do versus what we’d like to do. Now, let’s get you dressed so we can go to sickbay and have the Doctor take a look at your injuries.” Agreeing, he followed her into the bedroom. 

**Temple of Hequt**

The temple was quiet, had been for several hours. Tal Celes couldn’t wait to get back to her husband Harry, she missed him. Their time on Voyager had been some of the best memories she’d had during her first trip to the delta quadrant. She never thought she’d ever meet someone like him, he was so patient and understanding and didn’t fault her on her shortcomings. He would always encourage her to follow her heart, explore new opportunities until she found something she loved and was good at. Which turned out to be the last thing she considered, security. 

She excelled in hand to hand, weapons, and tactics. The knowledge coming to her as easily as operations came to her husband, as science came to the admiral. She found herself wanting to commit to the position fully and enjoyed going into work, even when it was hard or quiet, as it was now. It was times like these she was able to look back on her life and consider all the choices she’d made over the years. Until she met Harry, she had always done what her parents expected. 

When she returned home from her seven years in the delta quadrant, her family wanted her to settle down and began to search and arrange for her to marry. She was already in love with someone, even though their feelings had never been discussed. The only person she was interested in marrying was Harry, not some Bajoran man they’d picked out to keep the family line pure. Those kinds of things were important to them. Already feeling that too many of their race had been genetically compromised during the occupation with Cardassia. Many of their women having been forced to give birth to their bastard Cardassian children. It was an unspoken knowledge that what Cardassians could not conquer by force they would do so by breeding. 

Her parents had tried to keep her hidden during the occupation, in order to avoid their daughter catching the eye of some Cardassian. She was a beautiful girl, so the chances had been high. They kept her out of the heavily concentrated Cardassian areas in order to negate her exposure to them and keep her safe as much as was possible. 

When the Cardassians finally withdrew and the occupation ended, her parents didn’t believe or trust that the peace would last, so they encouraged her to join Starfleet as soon as Bajor was recognized as a member of the Federation. Ensuring that whatever happened on their homeworld their daughter would be free from it, and Starfleet was more than happy to accept almost any application made by any citizen of Bajor, showing their support in any way to encourage their new allies to participate and embrace their Federation ideas and principals.

She wasn’t being dishonest when she told the then Captain Janeway that Starfleet was so eager to get Bajorans into the fleet that her instructors gave her the benefit of the doubt, and so did she when she accepted her application for a posting on Voyager. Janeway had tried to tell her that she showed signs of unconventional thinking and she liked that, but when confronted with the question as to whether that would be enough to keep her on board if they were in the alpha quadrant, Janeway told her she couldn’t answer that. Celes already knew the answer before the question had been asked, she wouldn’t have, already knowing she didn’t meet the standard Janeway had come to expect from her crew but didn’t want to hurt the young woman’s feelings. 

Whether she was here now due to her own abilities or her husband’s exceptional skills as a highly sought-after operations specialist she couldn’t know for certain. Perhaps it had been that way in the beginning, but she had slowly been proving herself to her superiors and making a name for herself. It felt nice to be wanted and trusted.

Her parents weren’t happy about her choice of who she wanted to marry, keeping the letters from her for months before she’d stumbled across them. She had been furious. Believing all that time Harry had given up and moved on with his life, that perhaps he didn’t really feel the same way about her she’d suspected he had. When she came across his last letter asking her to marry him she couldn’t wait to say yes, had been waiting to say yes if he’d ever gotten up the courage to ask her before they arrived home from the delta quadrant. Perhaps this was the fates had decided. 

She wasn’t on speaking terms with her parents when she left with Harry to go to Deep Space Nine. Having also received orders to join Mercury’s crew once they’d gotten married in secret, providing the appropriate paperwork to Starfleet showing they were now husband and wife. When she got back she would reach out to them, see if their feeling had changed about her decision to have a human husband, and eventually half Human-half Bajoran children. For her, this joining was for life, as it was for Harry. They couldn’t see that when she introduced him to her parents and announced their plans to marry. All they noticed was that he wasn’t Bajoran and wasn’t interested in getting to know him further. 

Celes stood up when she heard the commotion coming from the corridor she’d been told Captain Tuvok had been taken. He had been brought in on a stretcher, along with another man she didn’t recognize. They looked as if they’d just been in one hell of a fight, sustaining multiple injuries. She rushed over, meeting them halfway. “What happened?” She demanded.

“This servant does not know,” the young man said, “when the door to the Requiem opened, these two men appeared with great injury. We were instructed to take them to the medical complex.”

“That won’t be necessary. I’ll have them transported to our sickbay,” she answered and tapped her com badge to open the connection. After giving a brief explanation, all three were transported and appeared in Voyager’s sickbay.

“What have we got?” Doctor Valeriano Espinosa asked in a soft Spanish accent, gesturing to the nurses to pick up the men and place them on the biobeds.

“They were brought into the temple from something called the Requiem in this condition,” Celes explained. 

He began scanning Tuvok with the medical tricorder. “Internal bleeding, fractures, subdermal hematoma, punctured lung. Get him prepped for immediate surgery,” he called to the nurses before scanning the Mithren, naming off similar injuries, and tapped his com badge, “Doctor Galen report to sickbay for immediate surgery.”

“Acknowledged,” Came her reply.

Instructing the nurses with the same instructions for their guest, he prepared to get to work on Tuvok, knowing his injuries were severely life-threatening. The injuries their guest had sustained were potentially life-threatening but could wait a few minutes. Doctor Galen entered moments later and ran her hands under the sanitizer before heading over to put on her surgical gear. 

“What have we got?” Galen asked. Espinosa rattled off the injuries their guest had, and she got straight to work. 

Celes didn’t know whether either of them would survive, she wasn’t a doctor, but couldn’t fathom the thought of Tuvok dying. She had grown somewhat fond of the former chief of security over their time in the delta quadrant, and if he died, she had no idea what effect that might have on the Admiral. He was one of her oldest friends. Didn’t she already have enough to worry about with just overseeing their mission and commanding the fleet? Did she really have to contend with also losing the people she cared about? She couldn’t imagine how much of a mess she would be if it were Harry lying there instead of Tuvok. She couldn’t help feeling sorry for the Admiral or his wife T’Pel and was thankful that she wasn’t the one who had to inform them of their injuries.

***

By the time Celes make it back to the Mercury, having given Chief of Security Lt. M'iarr a full report, Harry had returned to their quarters, his shift ended for the day. She was trying to hold back tears, unwilling to allow them to fall until she’d reached the safety of private space. Once inside they immediately fell and released a mournful sob.

Harry came quickly to her side and took her into his arms, having no idea what had caused this extreme emotion to surface. “What is it, love?” He asked rubbing her back, her arms gripping him close.

She couldn’t answer yet, having allowed her thoughts to spin out of control on the way here. What if she’d lost him? How would she live the rest of her life without him? “Promise me you’ll never die,” she choked out over his shoulder. 

He couldn’t promise that. They both had dangerous occupations, especially hers, “Where is this coming from?”

“Promise me!” She demanded, gripping the back of his uniform in her fists. 

He didn’t reply at first, only held her closer, “You know I can’t promise that. I will promise, however, that I will do everything I can not to die. I have too much to live for to do otherwise.”

It wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but it was enough to ease the pain in her heart, “I can’t lose you, Harry.”

He pulled back and took her face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away the tears. She placed her hands over his, “I have no plans to go anywhere unless it’s with you,” then he kissed her, showing rather than telling how much he loved her. She kissed him back, needing to feel that love desperately before walking him backward toward the bed. 

They undressed each other, and he asked no questions. It was obvious she needed him, this physical act of reassurance giving way to pleasure, devotion, and tenderness. He held her in his arms afterward, her body clinging to his. He didn’t know what had precipitated these feelings, and when asked, it was a rarity she would ever voluntarily disclose those reasons. It was a learned behavior having grown up during the occupation, one that was going to take even longer to unlearn. However, he would continue to be patient and understanding. Letting her come to him when she was ready to talk, and in time, she always did.

**Voyager**

For Commander Tom Paris, the delta quadrant had become a place where if felt they were never meant to return. They had managed to escape its inexorable pull once and defeated the Borg at the same time. How much of that had been happenstance due to their unique set of circumstances at the time? Now they had returned voluntarily to try and resolve a threat that could put the whole galaxy in danger if left unchecked. 

In some ways, it was better they had been made aware of it, instead of seeing those nightmares showing up on the doorstep of the alpha quadrant with no idea what they were and where they came from. He was ready for this to be over. No more losing sleep at night wondering what would happen to his family if they failed to contain this threat. Tuvok was a man he respected, not only for his logic and wisdom but his unfailing loyalty to duty and honor. Whatever happened he always tried to do the right thing. 

Tom couldn’t always say that about himself. There was a time when he was so consumed by anger, self-loathing, and doubt, that he could have faded away into the background and no one would have cared. Just another admiral’s son who was an embarrassment to his family, who had shown so much promise but failed to live up to his potential. His father had always been the dominant driving force which fueled his poor decisions. If Owen Paris didn’t approve of something, especially when it came to his only son’s lack of discipline and drive, he could be unintentionally cruel. 

He was born with an expectation to follow in his father’s footsteps, just as he had with his father, going back as far as the Revolutionary War where the Paris men had always taken up this burden of sacrifice. Tom wanted better for his own son. If he wanted to join Starfleet and continue the family tradition, then it would be because he wanted it instead of feeling pressured to live up to a legacy he felt overwhelmed by. 

His own father would show him letters kept preserved from the time of America’s Civil War, World War I, World War II, The Korean War and so on. They were letters passed down through the generations of Paris men as a reminder of what love, duty, honor, and sacrifice were supposed to be about. His father had obviously held these sentiments with the highest regard and tried seemingly by force to made his own son care for them as well. He hadn’t grown up with the intention of disappointing him, quite the opposite. There was always a pressure to succeed, to be the best, even if that meant lying about it. Oh, he had lied a great deal in an attempt to meet his standard. 

When he did fail it had been catastrophic, and all those letters he’d been forced to endure that his father would haul out when he believed the words they contained would motivate and inspire his son to change his behavior. It only served to deepen the disappointment he felt in himself. He was not those men! Those men had accepted what they believed was their fate, to die in defense of their country. Most of the letters speaking of regrets to their wives, of the children they were leaving behind, and their internal struggle to find a balance between their love of duty and the love of family. Saying their final goodbyes long before knowing if destiny would play any part in their destruction. 

Tom had never envisioned himself dying at all, for any reason, and that had always been one of the major differences between them. To him, life was meant to be experienced. If not, what was the point? The time we’re given in his estimation was far too short to believe that death was stalking anyone, knowing that we’d all have to surrender to it eventually. There was no point going into battle with the notion that he could or would die as a result of his participation. It was a given that the possibility was always there, but he wouldn’t go willingly into that situation thinking it was some kind of inevitability.

His father had been that man, however, riding into battle knowing that he might never return, especially after being tortured by the Cardassians. He was never quite the same after that. Tom was fifteen at the time, and if their personal relationship hadn’t already been flagging, his behavior afterward made it impossible to rekindle any good feelings between them. He had become harder, colder as if he were shutting off his emotions from the rest of the world. 

He’d overheard his mother telling their aunt how Starfleet Command was making him go into counseling. It wasn’t spoken about of course, as if it were something to be ashamed of. It was as if the admittance of needing help were some kind of black stain that could only be covered up and ignored, like the dark spot on a carpet hidden under a rug. You knew it was still there, but nobody talked about it, preferring to pretend it didn’t exist. 

He had tried living like that once he’d been discharged quietly from the academy, but most people already knew what he did. He spent a lot of time traveling around the world and beyond, just seeing where the stellar winds would take him. He would hook up with some women here and there, have sex, drink, have more sex, and of course drink. On the outside, he appeared to be enjoying himself, but inside he was only trying to mask the pain he felt creeping into his consciousness every day. It was during this period of his life he managed to become associated with the Maquis, and how he’d met Chakotay.

Neither of them knew then how their association would precipitate a series of events that had ultimately changed both their lives for the better. Tom married a beautiful woman who was intelligent, vivacious, exciting, and everything he’d ever wanted in a woman. Together they’d produced two beautiful children. Chakotay, on the other hand, had a few more rough spots he’d need to traverse before he found happiness with a beautiful and intelligent woman of his own. Who’s larger than life presence was only rivaled by their love for each other and their children. 

Now he was the Commander of the very ship that had propelled his life in such a positive direction, serving under a Captain he’d come to know and respect over his initial time here, Tuvok. He returned to them half-dead, along with a man he’d come to learn was named Ocin, but not empty-handed. He had retrieved the Book of the Dead, and now it was up to them as to what information could be gleaned from its pages. It would take several hours to translate the ancient text into federation standard, the book sent to the Hermes for further analysis. He hoped Tuvok’s sacrifice had been worth it. 

**Hermes**

There was no such thing as an afterlife, this is what the Nossican’s had learned. A part of a being’s consciousness resides in a close friend or family member, this is what she had been taught, this is what she believed until she met Kes. What was left of a person after physical death was all that needed to remain, nothing more, the rest lost to the ether and to the annals of time. 

She had been informed an hour ago by the Admiral that Captain Chakotay had been relieved of duty for a few days due to a substantial injury but would recover. The Admiral had provided no further details, which was her prerogative. She could already see how the injury had happened in her mind, and why, but no one needed to know that. There were many things she’d picked up on lately whether she wanted to or not. It was getting harder to block out either specific or random thoughts and images. It wasn’t clear yet as to why this was happening, but it had started once Tuvok and his companion Ocin were transported to Voyager. 

When she reviewed recent events, she had the prodigious feeling they were being picked off one by one. Captain Hunter dies on the operating table but is somehow brought back to life despite the odds. Captain Tuvok returns to Voyager gravely injured and near death's door, and now Captain Chakotay had been removed from the picture for a time. The Admiral had been attacked by the man in grey twice directly, physically and emotionally, each attack escalating to a new excruciating level. 

To her, it was obvious he was becoming desperate to obtain her child, knowing that whatever method he chose to deploy in an attempt to reach his goal he couldn’t kill her. The rest of them were free game. As much as the Admiral had been forced to endure, she admired her resilience. Certainly, what was happening to her and the people around her was tremendously upsetting, and when she had been emotionally worn to the bone she’d managed to release the worst of those volatile emotions privately, even with her son’s amplification of them, showing enormous restraint based under the conditions of their circumstances. 

He seemed to be working in a linear progression, starting from the top down. One of the Commander’s would be next based on this pattern, and she began to suspect it was her he was targeting. Either he was trying to overwhelm her with visions and thoughts so he could strike at her directly somehow, or he was doing so to keep her from seeing what he was about to do next. She needed Kes but had been unable to focus long enough to make a connection before something was invading her mind with often useless or irrelevant information. The Admiral needed to be made aware of her suspicions without tipping her hand. How she was going to do that she wasn’t sure yet, but whatever she was going to do had to be soon. 

As she sat in Chakotay’s ready room, looking at the desktop terminal, she was bombarded with one of the clearest visions she’s had since seeing the necromorphs and the Admirals pregnancy. This was something that was about to happen or was happening now, as to which she didn’t know. There was one frustrating detail about having a vision, once it was disclosed it could change, but that didn’t always mean for the better. This she would have to check on herself. Raising her hand to tap her com badge, the power went out. Striding out onto the bridge she ordered, “Report.”

“We’ve just been hit by some kind of dampening field that our sensors couldn’t detect. It’s as if it came out of nowhere.” Operations Officer Ensign Renee Wilder explained, clearly perplexed.

Turning to Security Chief Lt Dudun Voi she said, “You have the bridge,” before heading for the turbolift, hearing him acknowledge the command on her way there. Once inside, she completed the action of tapping her com badge, “Senua to Victoria. Are you reading me?”

 _“Yes, I hear you. What’s happened?”_ There was no hint of distress to her voice, years of experience had allowed her to display emotion if or how she wanted to, depending on the situation. 

“Meet me on deck six, classroom 9B. We are about to have a problem.”

_“On my way, Mason out.”_

***

Asa liked school for the most part. There had usually been something interesting to learn, but today his heart wasn’t in it. He awoke this morning with a sense of dread, that the halcyon he’d been experiencing was about to bring bad weather back to his horizons. The current situation felt slightly familiar somehow when all the lights went out. He looked around the room to see all the faces of his classmates suddenly go slack, and as if they had planned the next event, they slumped forward onto their desks. In his peripheral vision, he noticed his teacher drop to the floor. 

Suddenly the situation went from a slight sense of familiarity to full-blown recognition. He’d dreamed about this a year ago. He had painted the image of the man in grey floating in space just outside the window, beckoning, summoning him, and feeling that inexorable pull to do as the voice in his head instructed. He didn’t want to look outside, his mind telling him that he would see the final piece making this chilling ending complete. 

Without will or forethought, his head turned toward the window, and there he saw the man in grey just how he’d painted him, floating in space. He could hear the same words he’d used before to call him. Something inside was enticing him to answer that call, chipping away against his will and good judgment. 

“Do not listen to that voice Asa.” 

The new voice broke the spell, and he’d turned to see Commander Ostad standing just inside the doorway. Offering him her hand. 

“I can hear him calling me. It’s almost impossible to resist,” he explained.

“He is very powerful. Any plans he has for you will not be to your benefit. You are a pawn in his game, nothing more. Take my hand and the voice will stop,” she replied knowingly.

It was coming down to a battle of wills, and he wasn’t sure if he had the strength to win. She was right, he was powerful, and if he went with him he would die. He could see her moving toward him as if she knew the struggle between his desire to move and the will to resist. The voice inside his head became even more demanding, pushing against his need for freedom from its influence. He began to pull back from her, but another pair of hands had gripped him by the shoulders, the touch reminding him of his connection to the present. The soft feminine voice telling him to resist, reminding him of his importance.

Senua grasped his hand, and within seconds the oppressive presence lifted from his thoughts. He was himself again. “What can I do to stop him from trying this again?” He asked, worried.

“You cannot completely, but you can remind yourself of all the reasons why you should not listen. He cannot force you to do anything, only entice you to comply, however vigorously he persists.”

“Let’s go see who else has been affected.” Victoria stated, always needing to access every situation, and find your sisters.”

“Their fine,” Asa said, “but we need to find our parents,” he finished before rushing out the door with Senua and Victoria right behind him.


	14. Chapter 14

Sian had gone to see the caregivers and found Eva sitting alone amongst her playmates, holding her stuffed velociraptor. Everyone, as she had noticed on the way here and in her classroom had entered another catatonic state as had happened before. Taking her sister by the hand, she left and headed to main engineering when she couldn’t raise their parents on the com. 

She noticed that her sister made an excellent barometer when it came to judging people’s sense of character. If she showed trust in someone, it meant she could too. When they saw the grey man appear before them in the corridor, Eva was frightened but angry. She began shouting at him, her limited vocal skills making it difficult to get any words out clearly, hurling a wall of noise in his direction. 

Sian gave a small smile, getting the gist of what she was saying without having to understand her vocally. It was something the three of them shared, this ability to know what the others were thinking or feeling, and it was something they definitely hadn’t told their parents or anyone about. She knew her brother was alright, that he was with people who would protect him. 

They had managed to keep a lot of their abilities hidden. Not just from their parents but from everyone else as well. No one needed to know what they could really do together when they put their minds to it, especially the grey man. It was difficult to make a connection with their new brother; he was still too small and his abilities more reactionary at this point rather than any conscious decision on his part. In time this would change, and how his abilities affected their mother would be tempered as he continued to grow inside her, gaining greater control over them. 

Right now, he was trying to force them into a confrontation, and it was one they intended to win. They had been holding back until now, Kes having warned them before revealing the information to their mother on how she had unlocked their innate abilities, choosing to leave out many details other than the ones Kathryn already suspected, especially on how she had enhanced those abilities in order to protect their secrets. If anyone knew the whole truth about them they wouldn’t understand, or worse, would want to study them considering humans had no telepaths or psionicists. Over time their parents and grandmother would, maybe even their aunt, but certainly not all at once. 

Sian took a small sense of satisfaction knowing that the grey man had made an error in judgment. He was trying to make them feel vulnerable, frightened, alone. Thinking he was putting their backs against the wall where they would be more suspectable to his influence. Time had only strengthened their connection, giving way to better control over their talents. Allowing them to discover new capabilities within themselves and then pushing to explore further.

By his own actions, he’d placed them in a position where they were able to put their abilities into practice without having to worry about being discovered. Commander Ostad was being distracted by the grey man, so it was unlikely she would pick up on the hell they were about to unleash upon him. He had harmed and attacked their mother, thereby hurting their father. He was right when he said he’d crossed the line. Rape was the one thing Sian and Asa abhorred over all others. It would become the grey man’s Achilles heel, and he would pay dearly for the offense. 

All of Sian’s abilities other than the connection she shared with her siblings, were internal. She could easily enhance any physical skill that required strength or dexterity, even mental acuity depending on what she wanted to do. It was one of the reasons she could pilot a shuttle or even a starship like a person who’d spent a lifetime mastering their craft.

Eva had a talent for illusion. What the grey man had done to her when they first met, holding her by knifepoint had truly frightened, then angered her. Their father was the only one who could calm her down, she shared a special connection with him. He was the first person she ever laid eyes on in this world, and it was his face she’d come to trust more than any other. Not to say she didn’t trust her mother or her siblings. Had it been their mother she saw first the connection would have been made with her instead. 

Asa not only had a talent for recreating anything he’d ever seen to appear real, but he could also see locations of an almost unlimited distance, and if he focused hard enough, he might get an image of the future, present, or past. This particular ability he was still trying to control. 

Sian allowed the small smile on her lips to widen as she released her sister’s hand and stepped to the side. Eva sat down her stuffed animal and closed her eyes. The grey man began to look confused by the action; however, his eyes began to grow wide when he saw it transform into a 2.13-meter velociraptor. The long-dead creature let out a loud shriek before charging toward him. It bore a relatively large, sickle-shaped claw used to tear into or restrain struggling prey. Large manus housed three strongly curved razor-sharp claws, its mouth strong with serrated teeth used for snapping and sawing bone. 

It was the first time Sian had ever seen fear in his eyes as he tried to work out if the creature was real or not. In the end, self-preservation won out and he vanished. Looking at Eva, she gave her a half-smile and commented, “Not bad.” The toddler smirked before releasing a giggle and picked up her stuffed animal before retaking her sisters’ hand and resumed their journey to main engineering.

**Mercury**

Admiral Janeway had a nagging feeling something wasn’t quite right when she transported back to the Mercury after leaving Hermes sickbay. Her Vulcan assistant Azan had passed the information over to Captain Chakotay’s first officer Commander Jezil Nivahn that he was being relieved of duty for a few days due to a freak accident. The Captain had somehow sustained severe injuries to both his hands and arms on the holodeck while running his boxing simulation. An investigation was currently taking place on how the injuries could have happened.

His wife, Doctor Mira Morgan had every right to be concerned, but always seemed to approach every situation with a calm grace Janeway had come to appreciate. She and Chakotay had made their peace with what could have been between them three years ago. It still hurt on occasion, and she could see it on his face at times, but that one night of indiscretion came with a price she couldn’t ignore, one she felt obligated to make right regardless of the ridicule it had cost her in the beginning. If she had waited a little longer, contacted the Doctor sooner to confirm those results, it wouldn’t have become the catalyst which led to a night of passion that resulted in a pregnancy she had been told would never happen. Her son Liam was nearly a little over two now and looked every bit like his father. It was hard for her to see any physical resemblance between them, but she couldn’t help but love him, regardless of how he came into her life.

The original mission which had sent her back to the delta quadrant had turned out to be nothing more than one seriously ill man’s delusions, cultivated from a dangerous psychopathic psychosis. The necromorphs had been a myth, taken from a series of ancient religious texts the man Sobek had used to recreate the appearance of their existence. For him, they had been quite real, and for the souls aboard the Impeteux, their final destination.

The things he did to those people, how he mutilated their bodies in order to recreate the images that had haunted him as a young boy were beyond obscene and disrespectful to the memories of those people and their families. One image in particular during their investigation she found especially difficult to shake. It was of a young Mithren girl, her face and body mutilated with bits of spare parts and sheets of metal in order to recreate his version of a Borg. She couldn’t imagine how greatly the poor girl had suffered, all indications pointing to the fact she was alive and conscious at the time it happened.

She had learned later that his wife and daughter had been assimilated by the Borg on a ship called the Aeneas, he being the only survivor. After that, he had stopped taking the medication which had been controlling the symptoms of his psychosis, and over the next four years, he’d managed to keep those delusions a secret until he found himself assigned to the Impeteux. It was never clear as to why he chose that moment to give in freely to them. In life, as much as she didn’t like it, had learned that sometimes she didn’t always get to know why.

Entering her quarters, she immediately noticed the dim lighting, the soft lilting jazz playing in the background, and the beautifully set table for two. A crooked smile appeared on her lips as she stepped inside and began to remove her jacket and placed it on a hook near the door.

“I was beginning to wonder when you’d be back,” Jason said, “I finally managed to get Liam down to sleep. He insisted on two songs and three stories before he would even consider it.”

Kathryn turned toward him to see her twenty-six-year-old husband Jason Runningwolf making his way toward her. He had been one of the reasons for all the major ridicule in the beginning. If she hadn’t become pregnant after their one night together she could have written off the entire experience as a major error in judgment and do her best to move on with her life, however, the resulting pregnancy had complicated matters. Forcing her into a position where she would have to inform her commanding officer Admiral Hastings of the situation. 

He had verbally reprimanded her over the poor lack of judgment, but she hadn’t broken and protocols by sleeping with him. He hadn’t been under her command at the time, but it certainly disappointed him, as much as she was disappointed and appalled by her own behavior. She had to work twice as hard to regain his respect, and prove to him, as well as Starfleet Command that they hadn’t made their own error in judgment when they promoted her to Vice Admiral. That first year was the hardest, especially as her pregnancy progressed and became more obvious. She had to endure the looks of distaste she received, the rumors she heard about herself, and through all this, there was Jason who wanted to be with her.

She wasn’t the kind of person who would deny the father of her child the right to be a part of their life unless there were clear indications why it wouldn’t have been safe. Jason had been sweet, kind, patient, understanding, all the traits she had once found so attractive in Chakotay but had to stop thinking about. It would only serve to reopen the fragile poultice over the wound in her heart. She really never stopped loving him, even after all this time, but circumstances had changed in such a way that she felt the best thing for both of them was to make a fresh start and sever any chance of a possible romantic relationship.

As much as she didn’t have to, she felt obligated to form at least a workable friendship with Jason, he was her child’s father after all and had made it extremely clear that he wanted to be a part of both their lives. She actively resisted anything more than friendship for almost the entire duration of her pregnancy. It wasn’t until her seventh month when she had to be placed on bedrest that her feelings began to change.

She was working harder than ever, trying to prove that she could do her job and that Starfleet Commands' judgment and original trust in her hadn’t been misplaced. It nearly cost her the life of her baby with the tremendous amount of physical and emotional stress she was placing herself under. The scare had forced her to reevaluate her circumstances, and Jason had taken time off work to personally oversee her every need in order to make certain she and their son were getting the best care.

He had been sweet with her, loving, attending to every need, want, or desire she might or didn’t realize she had. She had been completely at his mercy, and he treated her as though she were the most important person in the universe. Before she even began to realize it, she had found herself coming to care for him in a way she hadn’t considered until then, her heart opening up to him in a way that was unexpected. She loved him, but it wasn’t the same kind of love she had had for Chakotay, the kind of love that filled all the tiny crevasses of her being. His love was safe, tender, predictable, and respectful.

They married a few months after Liam was born, deciding it would be best to raise him together as a family. She had garnered a bit more ridicule from her colleagues for this decision, but in the end, even they began to realize that it more about what was best for their son than it was about them, so they let it go, and over time, showed support for their decision to raise him in as much of a traditional family environment as could be expected from two officers in the fleet. Jason’s promotion to Lieutenant Commander had certainly helped close the gap in their perspective ranks, making it easier for some people to swallow if you overlooked the excessive age gap.

A few months prior to any knowledge of this mission, they had decided to try for another baby. For her, this would be the last one. It had taken a year and a half for Jason to talk her into the idea, and she, of course, had resisted it for quite some time, giving him all the reasons as to why having another child would be an undue hardship for both of them. Eventually, she had relented, and before she knew they were pregnant, had accepted the mission to the delta quadrant, having worked tirelessly to regain the trust and respect of her superiors.

“Not four songs and a story? That’s unusual,” she commented with a soft laugh.

She loved hearing him sing, having discovered the ability when she’d overheard him singing to Liam as a baby. His voice was soothing, pleasing. When he’d sing for her in private though, he’d often do so with a sexier gritter edge he knew had the potential to turn her on.

Slipping his arms around her waist he pulled her closer, “He’s an unusual boy,” he replied before bestowing a tender kiss to her lips. When it ended, he looked into her eyes and slid one of his hands to her still flat stomach, “I’m sure you’re both hungry.”

“Famished,” she answered, gazing up at him with a gentle loving smile.

“Unacceptable, I’ll have to do something about that,” he answered and led her over to the table and pulled out her chair for her. Once she was seated, he went over to the replicator and retrieved the pork roast he’d prepared for their dinner, knowing it was one of her favorite meals.

“You spoil me far too much,” She said watching him dish out the portions, “but you are a better cook than I, so I have to give credit where it’s due.”

Taking his seat, after a few moments of listening to the soft clink of silverware against porcelain he asked, “Have you given any more thought as to what we discussed after this mission?”

Her hand hesitated as she replaced the crystal glass back on the table and swallowed the water in her mouth. “I haven’t. Why?” Refocusing her attention back to her plate.

He continued to focus on his own as he talked, “I was hoping you might come to like the idea of letting me take care of you and our children, at least for a while.”

She hadn’t been crazy about the idea and had worked far too hard to get back to where she was now. It was better, to be honest about that than continuing to drag it out, “If you’re looking for an answer right now, then I have to say no. Perhaps down the road, who knows, maybe even by the time, this mission is over and the baby’s born I might feel differently.”

He nodded, “You nearly worked yourself to death when you were pregnant with Liam, I just don’t want to see you go through that again.”

She understood his fears, it was a difficult time for both of them not knowing if the order for complete bed rest would be enough. This time was different, she had already built herself back up in eyes of Starfleet Command and wasn’t ready to simply retire in order to raise her children. She needed to be in space, drawn to the thrill of exploration and scientific discovery like a moth to a flame. She could walk away for a while, long enough to give their newest child the time and attention he deserved for the first few months as she had Liam. They were only a month into a six-month tour, and if the rest of the mission continued to go smoothly, they would be home in plenty of time before she was due to deliver.

There were several things she’d noticed about their relationship, most of them tipping the balance in her favor. He was usually on board with whatever she wanted to do, he respected her wisdom and judgment far more than he did his own it seemed, always second-guessing himself when it came to major decisions regarding her or their son. She found herself often taking advantage of his implicit trust without intent. Realizing later that she’d failed to see the signs that what she was suggesting wasn’t something he was completely comfortable with but going along with anyway.

It had become a source of frustration, wanting him to be more confident with her and voice his opinions as Chakotay always had. To have the courage to tell her she was wrong, but it hardly ever happened unless she’d really pushed him into being honest, his calm reserved nature making it extremely difficult. He only seemed to be interested in pleasing and gaining her approval. She knew he loved her, the reasons why never really clear, but never doubted his feelings. What was even more puzzling was why he was so dedicated to a woman twice his age.

These thoughts continually ran through her mind during their first year as a couple, believing he would wake up one day and realize exactly what he was doing with his life. That he would be happier with someone closer to his own age. It never happened, was never even hinted at. He had been adamant about his feelings for her, and how he was happy to remain by her side as long as she wanted him to be there. For him, this was forever.

When they lay next to each other in bed, he silently requested her affections, always feeling he needed clear permission before going further. She rarely refused his hesitant advances unless she was either too tired or really not in the mood. In many ways felt she owed him this attention for all the wonderful ways he made her life so much easier. Taking care of her and Liam with the greatest of love and never a complaint. It wasn’t without love that she gave in to his desire when he expressed it.

She had grown to love him in her own way, theirs was a relationship built on a foundation of reliability and comfort. He was a respectful and tender lover, treating her with a kind of reverence she sometimes found awkward. He certainly did know how to satisfy her, his enthusiasm and endurance making up for any skill he may have lacked.

She would have to encourage him with a moan or a touch to invoke a little more passion into the act, knowing he felt some odd need to restrain himself, the signals giving him permission to take a little more liberty with his approach. When she had managed to sufficiently encourage him, the choices he made during their lovemaking could be quite pleasurable and surprising.

He would never tell her about some of the unique quirks she had when he really got her mind reeling with unrestrained bliss. How she would beg him to talk dirty to her, and when she was close to release under those conditions she would begin to moan and respond to him in a little sexy baby doll voice that nearly had him losing control before he could push her to the point of ecstasy. That knowledge was for him alone, and one of his secret pleasures.

Giving him a soft smile, she reached out and slid her hand across the table, he took it in his own, “Look at me honey,” she said, and he slowly met her eyes, “I know how much you want me to say yes, but you have to understand that my career means as much to me as you and Liam do, as our new baby will. I don’t regret our life together or my decision to marry you. Even though you must have asked me about twenty times,” she added with a gentle laugh, invoking a similar response from him, “I made a commitment to you not because I felt obligated, but because I love you. Understand?”

He nodded and looked her straight in the eye, revealing a rare moment of confidence to say what he was really thinking, “Sometimes it just doesn’t feel real. That we’re only pretending to play at this life. Whether you admit it or not I know you compare me to Chakotay, and I feel as though I can never measure up to his standard. Even though I aware of this, it doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

She didn’t know how to respond to that, because some of it was true. There was an unspoken level of expectation from him, one he couldn’t always reach. It wasn’t his fault, he was young, inexperienced, and didn’t share the same intimate experience she and Chakotay had for seven years. The love she still felt for him buried deep inside, forced to lay dormant as it had when they were on Voyager, “I don’t know what you want me to say, Jason,” she replied releasing his hand, beginning to feel uncomfortable.

“I don’t want you to say anything, and I’m not looking for an explanation. I just felt you should know how I felt. I’m sorry for making you feel so awkward. It wasn’t my intention,” he explained, a peaceful expression gracing his handsome features.

He could be maddingly generous with his understanding, a trait she found frustrating when what she really wanted was a good argument, something he never allowed to happen between them. She depended on it too much, the predictability of their relationship. Yes, he would never be Chakotay, she knew that, but in the end, he didn’t have to be. What she really desired was for him to be himself and stop trying to give her everything he thought she needed or wanted. Even three years later she couldn’t recall the first night they shared, she being too drunk at the time. Something happened that night, causing this behavior, she didn’t know what though. It was the one thing she didn’t really expect him to ever share.

**Hermes**

“How are you feeling?” Mira asked, laying a hand on her husbands’ chest, concern in her eyes.

“Better, now that you’re here,” he replied and offered her a smile, but the pain medication also helped, and laid his hand over hers. He couldn’t stop one particular thought from crossing his mind as he stared up at her, a thought that had been on both their minds for quite some time now. They had been trying to get pregnant for a little over a year, and it wasn’t due to a lack of trying on their part. Every specialist they’d gone to see confirmed there was nothing wrong with either of them. So why wasn’t it happening?

He allowed the thought to drift. Hearing the news about Kathryn’s second pregnancy had churned up a lot of unresolved feelings he still had for her and regretted not being more forceful when it came to reaching out to her after they returned home from the delta quadrant, especially after he and Seven parted ways. Her assistant Azan had been vigilant in guarding the Admiral’s time, preventing him from making contact. When he finally did discover her whereabouts, she was already pregnant with another man's child, a man who was half her age and bore a striking resemblance to himself. 

It had taken time to track down her apartment, but without knowing her schedule he could never be quite sure when she would be there. In the beginning, he left several messages for her, both at her office and her apartment once he’d located it, but his calls were never returned. Realizing later that had he just allowed himself to fully disclose his reasons for needing to speak with her so badly she might not have slept with the young man at all. It could have been him with her now, finally fulfilling the promise that always existed between them. Regret was a constant companion, having made far too many poor decisions over the years. The love he had, still had for her, was not one of them, but it was far too late to do anything about. 

He’d managed to catch her at home, finally getting his chance to speak with her face to face. She had been surprised to see him but did not turn him away, apparently, there were a lot of things she needed to tell him as well. None of them, things he wanted to hear. She was three months pregnant by then, and the slight bulge to her stomach had gone unnoticed until he happened to look up and see her in profile as she stood in front of the replicator to get their beverages. It was then he began to suspect something but didn’t know for certain until she’d told him.

The news instantly deflated all his hopes, all the dreams he’d been secretly harboring about a future with her. He told her how he felt about her then, really laid his heart out on the line. It didn’t matter to him that she was pregnant, he wanted to be with her regardless and he would be there for her, help her raise the baby. She emphatically opposed the idea, explaining that it wouldn’t be fair to ask this of him, and how in time he’d come to resent her for it. Knowing that eventually, every time he looked at her son he would always be reminded of that one night of indiscretion, the constant elephant in the room. 

Jason wanted to be part of her and their son’s life, and even if she did decide to go with her heart and be with him, Jason would always be there, another constant reminder of her lack of good judgment. He had waited almost six years for her at this point, hoped that one day their relationship could be different now that they were home, only to find there was now another obstacle blocking his path. It was as if they were destined to continue to love the other from afar for the rest of their lives. The promise between them forever going unfilled. 

She agreed and wanted to stay friends, but felt it best for a while that they do not see each other until each of them had time to settle into their new existence, to find some kind of balance to the parameters of their new relationship, and let go of the one that could never be. It took nearly a year before he could make some kind of peace with it, or even allow himself to look at another woman. When he did, Mira walked into his life. 

She had come to him via the academy as a visiting professor. Her knowledge and experience working with children and adults who had suffered the worst cases of trauma were well known in the psychiatric community. He attended the first lecture as a requirement, his class on planetary expedition did have some close ties to a few of the subjects she would be discussing. The rest would be for his benefit only, not realizing that what she would say during those lectures would help him deal with some of his unresolved feelings for Kathryn. 

She did several over the next few weeks, and he found a way to attend every one of them, greatly impressed by her knowledge and insight into the many fascinating aspects of neurology and philosophy, a subject he himself was an avid student of. In the beginning, his fascination with her was purely academic, wanting to pick her brain in a more private setting and get her opinion on several questions he didn’t feel comfortable asking in front of a group. When she agreed to meet with him, it didn’t seem to take long, only a few months, before what started as an academic meeting of minds evolved into their first night of passion. 

Mira was in her early thirties, beautiful, and shared only a few minor physical details with another woman he loved. Where their similarities truly met were the devotion they had for their chosen fields, both of them were respected scientists with the same dedication to their craft. However, one of them was attainable where the other was not.

They began seeing each other regularly. Although she wasn’t a member of Starfleet and worked directly for the Federation, her expertise would be requested from time to time. When he had been sent for a three-month expedition to the gamma quadrant with the new slipstream drive for Voyager, he requested her presence to serve as their ship’s counselor but not really believing Starfleet Command would approve the request. He had been pleasantly surprised to learn that Mira had also put in a request, except hers was on the basis of a more academic and scientific perspective to function as an observer and to share her expertise. Her request was approved, his was not, but it didn’t matter as long as she would still be going with him.

He fell in love with her, but it never seemed to override the love he still held for Kathryn. She was a perceptive partner, insightful, and always took an interest in whatever subject they were currently discussing. Pointing out and bringing to light all the unique unasked questions in any topic he had missed. Her intelligence was vast and only rivaled by her innate sense of curiosity about the people and the universe around her. He’d come to appreciate her in many ways, as she did him. So, it only seemed natural for both of them to elevate the status of their relationship. After they returned home, they were married a week later.

“What happened in there?” She asked.

“I got a little too carried away I guess,” he answered, but he could see by the look on her face she wasn’t buying what he was selling.

Giving him a loving smile, she mindfully chose to drop the subject and ran her hand over his head. He would tell her eventually when he was ready, knowing it did no good to push him, “Doctor Corbin says you’ll be just fine. No permanent damage, but I want you to promise me that you’ll show a little more restraint in the future.”

In the depths of her ice-blue eyes, he could see she was concerned, even worried about what had prompted this behavior. Always carefully observing him, studying his reactions, it was one of the things she did he didn’t like. She was trained to pick up on any subtle changes once she knew and learned any particular person’s quirks, it’s part of what made her such an expert at her craft, a skill he could never completely circumvent.

“I promise,” he replied sincerely.

She could see he meant it. Leaning down she planted a soft kiss to his lips, “I love you,” she whispered centimeters from his mouth. 

“I love you too,” he whispered back before she straightened.

“I’ll be back in a couple of hours now that I know you’re going to be alright. I have a meeting with Counselor Hamilton in about fifteen minutes. He wants to discuss some of the techniques I’ve developed to help with some of the worst cases of mental trauma I’ve treated. I’ve had to reschedule this meeting three times with him already, he probably thinks I’ve been trying to avoid him,” she stated with a soft laugh. 

“Go, I’ll be right here when you decide to come back,” he encouraged.

Slowly, she turned away from him, keeping her eyes on his prone form for as long as possible before she had to watch where she was going.

He watched her until she walked through the door before allowing his eyes to close. It was only a matter of time before his Security Chief Lt Dudun Voi and the admiral’s assistant Azan finished their investigation in the holodeck. He didn’t try too hard to hide what he had done, knowing it would be worse for him if he had. At some point, the Admiral was going to want to speak with him further regarding the incident, and this time he was prepared to answer her.


	15. Chapter 15

**Mercury**

She didn’t request to speak with him as soon as she could have, allowing him an additional day to rest and recover before summoning him to her office on the Mercury. He felt an odd mix of emotions running the gambit in his head, everything from longing to trepidation. Of course, the part of him that would always be in love with her craved to see her in private but dreaded it at the same time. He was only punishing himself for allowing his feelings about her to roam free on any level outside of friendship, but right now he didn’t care. It was only important that he have a few moments alone with her, even he was only torturing himself by unattainable possibilities.

It was important he keep a neutral expression on his face, especially when he came face to face with her assistant Azan. It wasn’t that he disliked the man, but he disliked the man. He had only been doing his job at the time, and his attention to detail including the ability to repel any personal emotional pleas would have fallen on deaf ears. A part of him always feeling that he’d caused him to miss his chance to change the future. 

“Captain Chakotay. You are a few minutes earlier than scheduled. However, I will check with the Admiral and see if she is able to meet with you now. If you will be kind enough to wait here.” He said before entering the Admiral’s office. 

Suddenly he felt a surge of nervous energy. She was on the other side of the door he was starting at, only a few meters stood between them. It was the closest he’d come to being alone with her in almost eight months, so he’d have to be dying in order to justify missing it. Then just as suddenly as the nervous energy had come, felt a wave of shame and guilt. He shouldn’t allow himself to feel this way, he was a married man with a wife he loved, but it wasn’t the same. No other woman had come close to invoking the same level of love he felt for her. As corny as the phrase sounded to himself, she completed him. 

The door opened and Azan appeared, “The Admiral will see you now,” he said and gestured for him to enter. 

He found himself holding his breath as he crossed the threshold into her personal space, only releasing the breath when he saw her raise her head to look up at him from the desktop terminal. 

“Captain Chakotay,” she said courteously, maintaining a professional distance.

“Admiral Janeway,” he replied, forcing his features back into the neutral mask he’d donned before meeting her assistant. 

“Have a seat,” she said turning herself toward him in the chair, her hands clasped neatly in front of her on the desk. When he was seated, she gave him a slight look of disapproval, “I received the final report of the investigation two days ago, but I wanted to give you more time to recover before discussing it with you. How are you feeling?”

“Better, thank you,” he said trying to keep his answers short and sweet for now until he could gauge her mood properly. Time apart had severely lessened his ability to know what she was thinking within a few seconds upon entering the room. 

She appeared to be trying to gauge his mood as well, both reaching an impasse. Finally, she had to abandon the attempt and continue the discussion, “You didn’t attempt to cover your tracks, in fact, I believe you wanted the information to be found. Although it’s left me feeling disconcerted and quite concerned, the report doesn’t tell me what I really want to know. Why would you intentionally turn off the safety protocols and endanger your life? I’ve never found you to be particularly prone to taking clearly unnecessary risks. This leads me to think that the issue runs much deeper than simply wanting to challenge yourself.”

“I think you’ve been spending too much time with Counselor Hamilton,” he quipped, knowing he wasn’t just flirting with the line, he was blatantly crossing it.

She gave him a warning look, “I’m inclined to let that one go, Captain because of our friendship, but I wouldn’t recommend pushing it.”

He felt an uncontrollable urge to challenge her, possessing him in a way even he couldn’t explain, “What friendship? We’ve barely spoken to each other over the past three years. The only meaningful conversation we’ve had in all that time was when I finally tracked you down and shamelessly begged you to go with your heart and be with me only to be rejected, for a second time I might add.”

She sighed and used the index finger of her right hand to point down onto the desk instead of directly at him, “I really shouldn’t let you goad me into this discussion, but the reason why we haven’t spoken very much should be self-evident. It’s that subject, right there, that’s what’s preventing us from maintaining any kind of friendship. I explained my reason’s why it wouldn’t work then, and in every subsequent conversation thereafter. I’m tired of constantly having to defend myself to you. By the time you left my apartment that night we agreed to just remain friends, the position I was in couldn’t allow for anything further.”

He sat forward in the chair, defensive, accusing, “No, you agreed to just remain friends. I fought with you to get you to concede to that. Remember? I had to agree to another set of your damned parameters before you would consider relenting to the idea of not cutting me out of your life altogether. You had your mind made up the moment you saw my face at your door that it wouldn’t work between us or you would have found a way to reach out to me long before then. I know you love me, Kathryn, as much as I still love you, time has not changed that,” he really hadn’t meant to say the last part out loud, but it was too late to take it back.

Stone still, she looked him in the eyes and replied with as much conviction as she could, “I love my husband, Chakotay. As you love your wife. Whatever point you're attempting to make here doesn’t change those facts.”

He was still reeling from her obtuse response, “How is good old Jason Runningwolf these days? Has he finally managed to become the man you’ve always wanted? The one who understands who you are deep down. The woman who needs to be in charge but also needs someone to stand up to her and tell her when she’s wrong? Is he the man who knows how to satisfy you in bed?”

She stood up and placed both hands on her desk, “What we do in private is none of your business,” she was angry now, and he could see it. 

“Do you really like being with a man who’s half your age? Someone who hasn’t shared the same kinds of experiences we have, formed the same connection we had?”

“I will not let you turn this into a thinly veiled attack on my husband. He’s a good man and a wonderful father. We have a loving relationship, not that any of it should matter to you, but since you brought it up. How do you think your wife would feel if she knew you were holding on to these feelings for me?”

He stood up and moved around the desk, she backed herself into a corner, feeling somewhat intimidated by this unexpected move, but knew he would never hurt her. Face to face, he held her gaze, “If you can look me in the eyes and convince me that you honestly don’t have any feelings for me anymore then I’ll never speak of this again.”

She looked up at him, and even though she knew she absolutely did have those feelings and tried to project a mask of indifference knowing she could never act on them replied, “I don’t love you anymore Chakotay.”

“You’ve always been a terrible liar Kathryn,” he said moving closer and pressed his lips against hers. It was something she’d never allowed him to do. At the moment of their first touch, something that felt like electricity passed between them. 

The kiss became tender, more passionate and he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. Without thought, her hands wrapped around his neck as her fingers ran through his short-cropped hair, kissing him back with equal fervor before suddenly pushing him back to arm’s length, breathing heavily. The entire situation was spinning out of control and she had to find a way to end it, “Nothing can change between us, you know that what you did here was entirely inappropriate.”

He forced himself to take a few steps back to give her some space, “I can tell you still love me, Kathryn, that kiss told me everything I needed to know. So why are you bearing him a second child? I know in your heart it could have been, should have been ours. Why couldn’t you just let me love you?”

“Because I love Jason, and I am his wife. How we choose to live our lives has nothing to do with you or what you hoped might someday change between us. He is the man I have chosen as my husband and who I have every right to extend a family with. You have to let this go Chakotay, for both our sakes. If not, I don’t believe our friendship has any chance of recovery. Regardless of how you believe we came to this decision; you did agree to the rules I was prepared to accept.”

“Damn your rules, Kathryn. I’m talking about us and how we feel about each other. Doesn’t that matter to you anymore?” He was desperate to get her to see his point. 

“What matters to me is completing this mission before going back to Earth with my husband and raising our family. There can never be an us Chakotay, that ship has sailed. I’ve moved on because it was the best thing for my son and myself. Go back to your wife and live the best life you can with her.”

“Is that your final word on the matter?” He challenged.

Resolute she answered, “It is. Now I suggest you go back to the Hermes and remind yourself of the reason we’re out here in the first place. Talk to your wife, discuss your thoughts with her, perhaps she can help you make peace with your feelings.”

“Kathryn I-”

She cut him off, “Dismissed.”

Defeated, forlorn, his shoulders slumped forward slightly as he turned toward the door of her office. “One day you’re going to wake up and wonder what you’ve been doing with your life and realize how poor your decision to marry him was. I know you, Kathryn, he can never understand you the way I do.”

“Is that what you say about your wife?” She quipped angrily, defensively. 

“I married her because I couldn’t have you. Don’t get me wrong, I love her, but one of the reasons I did it was because you were determined to spend the rest of your life with a man who isn’t right for you.”

She scoffed, “And I suppose you are?”

He gave her a hard look over his shoulder, “I know I am,” he answered then left. 

She was shaking with anger, wondering how he could cause her to really question her feelings with just a kiss. The only thing it served to do was make her feel worse about the feelings she still had for him, and how her body had quickly betrayed her with his touch. Her decision had been made almost three years ago and still believed it was the only reasonable choice she could have made under the circumstances. She had made peace with it to a point she could live with, now he was dragging all those feelings she had about him out into the open. She had promised Jason she would commit fully to him and their life together, and that’s exactly what she planned to do.

**Hermes**

Asa couldn’t find any trace of his parents on board, so when he finally tracked his sisters down to main engineering he was relieved to see them. Eva looked up from the panel she was sitting in front of and gave him a wide smile. “Asa!” She cried happily and reached her arms out to him.

He nearly ran to her, pleased to see that she was safe and embraced her in a bear hug, “I know what you did, and it was awesome.” He whispered against her ear. She giggled, pleased with his approval. 

“Asa,” Sian said exiting a Jefferies tube, “I am glad to see you are safe brother,” she said in her usual candor. Then her eyes scanned the room, “Where are Victoria and Senua?”

“I’m not sure, I lost them in the corridor somewhere on the way back from sickbay. I thought that’s where mom and dad still were. I can’t reach either of them on the com, nor Victoria or Senua,” he explained, trying not to let his fear get the better of him.

Sian put her hand on his shoulder, “Eva is working on the power distribution assembly. Once she has main power up we can use the sensors to see if we can locate any of them. Do not give in to your fears. As long as we stay together the grey man’s chances to harm us are reduced. He fears what we can do together and will try to separate us.”

He nodded and took a deep breath before asking, “Are you able to sense Rhys?”

She shook her head, “Not since we lost power. I’m beginning to suspect our parent’s bio signs are being dampened, or they are no longer on board. However, they could have been transported to either Voyager or the Mercury. We should know more soon,” she said in an attempt at reassurance, and it appeared to be working. 

“Power!” Eva cried in delight and clapped her hands. Seconds later the emergency lighting went off and switched back to main power, the systems humming back to life.

“Nice job Evie,” Asa complimented before following Sian over to the main engineering console.

She began tapping in commands very quickly, faster than he could keep up. After several minutes she said, “They are not on any ship in the fleet.”

“What about the others?” Asa asked.

Tapping in a few more commands she replied, “I am finding Senua and Victoria on sensors, but…this is strange.”

“What is it?” He asked stepping closer to look over her shoulder, even though he had no idea what he was looking at.

“It is as if they are here, but not here at the same time,” she answered, before asking a question of her own, “Have you been able to reach out to Kes?”

“No, she’s too far away at the moment.”

With a new sense of resolve she announced, “It looks like we are going to have to take care of this ourselves. There is no one still conscious to help us.”

“What does that mean?” Asa asked, a little fearful of what her response might be.

“It means that you, Eva, and I are going to have to find mother and father ourselves. Eva can link the ships so we can have them move as a unit in order to protect the fleet and her crew, but we will have to determine where to start looking.”

“I overheard Seven say something several days ago about a hidden planet,” Asa said, “She was running some kind of analysis on the information Dad took scans of when he was sent out here before. She mentioned something about it appearing around the same time all the necromorphs started showing up. Maybe we can try there?”

Sian appeared wary of the idea, “If memory serves, that planet is supposed to have a massive defense grid in orbit. We may not be able to get close enough to find them on sensors.”

“I might be able to sense Rhys when we get close, or if the grey man is there.”

The thought of a confrontation in space did not appeal to her if he decided to turn those weapons on them. “We should go to astrometrics and check the scans Seven made of the area around the planet. If there is a moon or nebula nearby where we can hide the fleet we can take the delta flyer for a closer look.”

“Sounds like a plan,” and it was a good plan as far as he was concerned. Looking to Eva who had finally made her way over to them he asked, “What do you think?”

“Good plan. Get bad man,” she said with a determined look on her face.

“If Evie approves then it has to be good. Right?” He asked Sian hopeful.

Even though she offered them the most reassuring smile she could, inside there were still a lot of reservations, “Yes, it is the best plan we have right now.”

***

Senua and Victoria found themselves standing in a river of blood. It was running through a dense grove of trees, most of them had been toppled over by unnatural means, appearing as though they had been sheared off. Around them were dead Mithren scattered across the ground and in the water, this had been the blood source. 

A very one-sided battle had taken place here, wherever here was. Moving to the bank, they followed the river until the trees opened up to reveal the remnants of what used to be a large village. There were more bodies, many of the buildings destroyed. The sign welcoming travelers to the village was somehow still intact and read, Faiyum. 

As they passed through the village's remains, they could hear a single voice shouting in the distance. Following the sound, they saw an impossibly old Mithren male hardly able to stand even under the power of the staff he used. He yelled toward the vast ocean in a language their translators couldn’t decipher, a secret language known only to a handful on the planet.

Hearing the sounds of movement, the man stopped and turned toward its origin. When Senua and Victoria were closer, they noticed his eyes were completely white. Regardless, he looked as though he could still pinpoint their approach. 

“There is nothing here for you strangers, the Gods have abandoned us. Make your peace with the knowledge, for the long night has come,” He stated plainly and without fear.

“I apologize for any offense,” Senua began, “but who are you?”

“Aristaios.” It was simply spoken.

“What happened here?” Victoria asked, her eyes continuing to take in every visual detail of the carnage around them. 

“Death,” came his immediate response, “but I’m sure you were expecting more details.” 

“It certainly would be helpful,” she replied as both she and Senua carefully made their way forward, being mindful of the bodies and debris scattered around them.

Holding the staff, he used it to lower himself back down onto the chair behind him and released an involuntary groan once his back touched the seat, “Marrku is what happened. I never thought I would have to face him again.”

“One man did all this?” Victoria asked surprised and a bit skeptical.

“He’s not a man, he’s a creature. His power allows him to take many forms. I have learned all his names over the years. Urhiya the King of Worms, Sehetepibre the Slayer of Worlds, but you may be more familiar with some of his less extravagant titles. The Wolf of Mithren and one I’ve just come to learn of recently, the man in grey or the grey man.”

Senua’s eyes went slightly wide, “He is the one who has been responsible for everything that has happened to your world and to us.”

“I am unfamiliar as to what your people may have endured, but I would not be surprised if he were behind any tragedies you’ve suffered.”

Victoria knelt on one knee and stared up at him curiously, “You said you faced him before? How long ago was that?”

His unseeing eyes continued to look past the horizon, and for a moment, did not believe she would receive and answer, “Three centuries ago, inside the tower of Adom, for it was the first. He had unleashed an unnatural form of death, it had to be stopped, and with Hequt’s blessing I was able to subdue him…at least for a time.”

“The necromorphs,” Victoria said.

He nodded, “They were a plague he unleashed to change the foundation of our existence within the universe, an existence he could manipulate and control.”

“To what end?” It was Senua who asked.

He turned his head toward her, as though he could see her clearly, “Why does any creature who uses their power do so to twist and distort the universe to their own design? Why do men fight wars in the name of deities they cannot see or touch? Why do women keep and pass down their family’s traditions? Why do children, who are usually the wisest among us, become jaded over time and are constantly searching for someone or something to put their faith in?”

“To become God,” Victoria said softly.

“Yes,” he confirmed, “but he isn’t. You cannot kill God, only the idea,” he finished before speaking again, “Would one of you please do this old man a kindness and retrieve an item for me?”

“Of course, what do you need?” Senua asked.

“There is a small wooden box hidden inside the wall above my bed. Please bring it to me.”

Senua slipped inside the meager structure and found the scant bed. Above it, almost impossible to detect unless she knew what she was looking for, was the seam to a carefully constructed door that covered a small opening. Inside was a beautifully carved wooden box that barely fit inside. Removing it, she made her way back and handed it to him.

“Thank you,” he said taking it. His hands felt around the box, his fingers pressing along several different patterns and sections until there was a soft click. Opening it, there was an item wrapped in cloth. Removing it, Senua recognized it almost immediately. It was the timepiece she had seen the man holding on the door of the temple in Shadya's Rest, “I was given this by Hequt three centuries ago, it’s called the Horologium. It was the only means I had of subduing Marrku, but it wasn’t enough to destroy him. You will need to amplify its power in order to put an end to him,” he explained handing it to her.

“What does it do?” Senua asked.

“It contains the power to manipulate time for a short while. Time was never meant to be bridled; it pushes back. Once it is released the force of that push will obliterate anything in its path.”

“How does it work?”

He shrugged his shoulders, “I do not know, Hequt only provided me the means to do his will, not the knowledge to explain it. You will have to discover that for yourselves.”

Victoria and Senua studied the item carefully, trying to take in as much visual information as possible. There was a stirring behind them in the water, then a rush of sound as matter displaced its contents. The force pushing the water outward, creating a tidal wave with a speed behind it that threatened to sweep all of them into its depths but stopped short. A large beast emerged; thirty meters high. It’s eyes similar to that of an octopus. Massively muscled appendages adorned a sturdy scaled torso. On its back were a set of impossibly large featherless wings coming to several points along the structure as they were unfurled sporting razor-sharp protrusions resembling bone. The enormous head held a jaw populous with salient teeth. The sound it emitted from its mouth was unearthly, otherworldly, and certainly didn’t belong to anything apart of this universe. Striking an immediate and deep-seated fear within them that neither had the words to explain. 

“What is that?” Victoria almost whispered the question, her voice losing the strength to speak. 

“Marrku,” Aristaios answered, “and with him, the long night.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Mercury**

Jason thought back to the first night of he and Kathryn’s honeymoon. They had just been married in a small private ceremony, her mother and sister were there, she’d invited none of her friends. He had his parents, his best friend Julian and his wife Tabitha, and of course their son Liam. He had been nervous, his mind racing with all the possibilities of what might be going through hers, but he’d never know it. She exuded enough confidence for both of them to get through the ceremony and complete their vows. Years of command and facing down death more times than she could count had allowed her to show resolve even if she didn’t necessarily possess the feeling. 

They would be going to Risa for two weeks afterward. His parents keeping Liam for the first week in Oklahoma before meeting with Kathryn’s mother and sister to take him back to Indiana for the next. Once their honeymoon was over they would pick him up and all of them would go to their new apartment in San Francisco as a family. 

He chose Risa because of the relaxed and carefree atmosphere, hoping the surrounding would finally allow her to let her guard down, at least somewhat. He certainly wasn’t looking for miracles, only a chance to really get to know her better. She rarely spoke to him of her past, preferring to keep most of the knowledge to herself, and she never spoke to him of her time in the delta quadrant or the people she served with and called friends. Their names might be mentioned from time to time, but there was always one missing, Chakotay’s. 

It was an unspoken rule that his name was to never be spoken between them, one he would sometimes forget, and when he did an instant sadness would fill her eyes. It was something he couldn’t ignore, already more than aware of how she felt about him. He could never diminish the love she had for him, only hoping that one day there she might find enough room in her heart to share some of that love with him. He knew she cared about him in her own way, maybe even love him to some extent her heart would currently allow, but he had enough love in his heart for both of them and it would have to be his love that would carry them through. 

They hadn’t been intimate at any point leading up to their wedding. He could probably count on one hand the number of times where she might have either brushed her lips across his or kissed him on the cheek, anything more was out of the question. Sex certainly wasn’t everything, and he could be very patient, even more so when it came to her. He would be willing to wait for her to tell him when she was ready for anything more, regardless of how long that may take. He was just happy to be with her, that she was finally his and they would be together for as long as life or she wanted him to be. 

The first night they shared a bed was on Risa. He could see how stiff and nervous she was with the idea, knowing that eventually, this would be an inevitability, an obstacle she would have to face and overcome. She did so with great effort lying there beside him, not even close to touching. He understood and didn’t blame her, the situation new and awkward for both. They hadn’t shared a bed since the night their son was conceived, and she was too drunk to really know or fully comprehend the consequences of her actions. He hadn’t considered them either, even though he could fill in all the missing details her memory lacked.

He never talked to her about it, keeping the information to himself. It wasn’t as if she’d ever asked for there to be any danger in telling her, preferring to allow the past to stay hidden. It was how he’d learned her feelings for Chakotay to begin with, the declaration of love leaving her lips in the middle of her release. He had ignored it, pretended he hadn’t heard, but the knowledge couldn’t be staved off forever. He found a way to make peace with it, knowing the words had only been uttered under the conditions of their circumstances. It was an admittance she never would have volunteered freely under any others. 

By the end of the first week, she did allow her guard to drop slowly as she began to relax a little more in their new environment. There were moments throughout the day she seemed to fully commit to an activity they were engaged in, allowing her sense of fun and adventure to come forth. He enjoyed seeing her this way, the carefree smile she wore and casual stance. When she smiled at him, he found a sense of hope for their future, that perhaps she would one day be able to fully commit herself to him and their life together. 

At night, the gap in the bed between them began to close as she became more comfortable with him. By the second week, they would lay with her arms touching as they fell asleep at night. Two days before their honeymoon would officially end, they were lying in bed with the patio doors open, listening to the ocean crashing against the shore as moonlight illuminated the room. She had taken his hand, just holding it, as if she were testing how or if the action would agree with her, and he remembering how grateful he was for any intimate connection with her.

The silence stretched on for quite some time as they surrendered to the company of their own thoughts. He lay with his face turned toward her, studying what little of her expression he could see sift across her features. Wanting more but waiting patiently for permission to act, as he always had, feeling an almost obsessive need to garner her approval and her affections. 

“I want to thank you,” she said softly.

“For what?” He asked, waiting.

“For being so patient with me. I know this hasn’t been easy for you either.”

He didn’t reply immediately, trying to find the right words in which to respond and gave her hand a gentle squeeze, “Take all the time you need. I’ll be here,” and saw part of a soft smile grace her lips.

Again, they fell silent for a time before she spoke again, “There’s something I want you to know,” she paused, thinking, then continued, “I didn’t agree to marry you out of a sense of obligation. I thought about it for quite some time before coming to that decision. I do care for you deeply, and I couldn’t go forward with this marriage if I didn’t think those feelings could evolve into something more profound over time.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Kathryn, I knew exactly what I was getting into when I asked you to marry me, to begin with, and then kept asking,” he added with a laugh, trying to bring some sense of levity and humor to the discussion, and it did invoke a slight laugh from her as well, “I knew the idea didn’t appeal to you, and I know you were prepared to raise Liam on your own with only a friendship between us. For purely selfish reasons I’m happy you agreed to become my wife even if I don’t fully understand all the reasons why you said yes.”

Turning her face to his, her eyes searched his for a moment before replying, “You’re what changed my mind. Your kindness, patience, love, understanding, all of it. In many ways, I’m not sure how I would have gotten through my pregnancy without you being there to prop me up when I was ready to throw in the towel, especially those last two months. You took care of me when you didn’t have to and showed me a degree of love and tenderness I didn’t deserve, and I never once thanked you for any of it,” she said with regret.

“I did it because I love you, even though you still keep asking me why. I can’t explain it, I just do, more so than with any woman I’ve ever been with. One of these days I hope you’ll just accept it and believe me when I tell you,” Releasing her hand he turned his body toward her and reached out to caress her cheek with his fingers, and was both pleased and surprised when she didn’t shy away from his touch, “I love you Kathryn Janeway, and I always will,” he whispered.

It was then she propped herself up slightly and moved closer before lowering her lips tentatively to his. She kissed him once, softly, briefly, followed by another. Releasing a sigh, she closed her eyes and brought her lips down a third time and allowed them to linger, exploring hesitantly, nervously as her hand came up to gently touch his cheek. 

He could feel himself wanting to gather her in his arms and kiss her the way he had that first night, the way she had been kissing him, but didn’t. He knew she wasn’t ready for that just yet, knowing it would take her more time to get there. For her, right now was about possibilities, and if he could invoke any feeling of passion within her no matter how scarce. 

He began to move his lips against hers with a little more confidence, trying to silently encourage her to do the same. After several seconds she did, following his lead. She was a woman who liked being in charge, thrived on it, but the bedroom was the one place she didn’t want to be, preferring to allow her partner to make the decisions with only minimal direction or encouragement so she could fully enjoy the experience.

Taking his queues from her, basing them on any soft sigh or moan she released against his mouth, the way she responded to his touch as he caressed her body, he was learning how and in what way he could ignite her passion. Rolling her onto her back, he continued his ministrations until she began pushing down on his boxers, trying to take them off. Quickly he removed them and helped remove her panties before moving back to settle between her thighs. 

This was the moment he had been waiting for, wanting to please her, express his love for her in a physical act that would show her his feelings more than mere words ever could. Reaching down, she used both hands and gently pressed down against his hips, giving permission. He entered her slowly and relished the breathy sigh she released against his ear. Keeping the pace slow, he gave her the opportunity to continue to explore his body with her hands and mouth. Getting to know him in her own way, only changing or increasing the pace based on any touch or sound she made. 

Hours could have passed for him and would have kept up any pace she wanted, kept her going for a long as she wanted to go. He was in love with the sounds he was getting out of her, the way her hips moved against him and matched his pace. She was getting close, building up the eventual release he was working her toward slowly, trying to keep the feeling going for a long a possible before her body could no longer hold back. 

Gripping his hips, her body pushed back, a loud gasp escaping her lips, back arching against him. In the middle of her release, she breathed, “Oh Jason,” before her body leaned toward him, gripping his back as she breathed his name again. He was no longer able to hold back, feeling her inner walls contracting against him and let go, riding her through the aftershocks. 

Once his senses returned, he could hear her sobbing softly against his shoulder. He tried to pull back to see what was wrong, but she pressed him against her, refusing to let him. So, he held her close and said nothing. It was the last obstacle she had to cross in order to say goodbye to what might have been with Chakotay, and she was finding it difficult, unwilling or unable to let go of the past in order to move forward. Her body trembled and shook with every sob she released as she continued to cry, saying her goodbyes to the man she loved. He let her be, letting her deal with her feelings on her own terms. There was nothing he could do to facilitate this process, only let her grieve for the loss of their future in silence. 

Taking several deep breaths, she forced the tears to stop before releasing him, and he rolled off her onto his side of the bed. Without a word or a look, she rolled off the bed and stood up. He watched as the satin nightgown fell back into place and picked up her matching robe before slipping it on and quietly exited the room, closing the door behind her. He could hear the soft choked sobs resume through the thin frosted glass, all the way into the living area where the sound eventually faded into the distance. 

He stared out the patio doors and watched what little he could see of the water crashing onto the white sandy shore, feeling numb. He had just been a witness to a heartbreak he was never meant to see, one over another man he was never meant to know about. How is a person supposed to feel after that? A feeling of numbness was all that was left. At some point, his eyes closed, and he drifted off to sleep. 

In the morning, he awoke to find himself alone. His hand slid across the bed to touch the spot where she had been sleeping for nearly two weeks and mourned the loss of her presence. Forcing himself to get up, he slid his boxers back on and quietly opened the door in case she may have been asleep on the sofa. Once he was in the hall, he looked down the short distance to the living area to see a hint of her arm and leg poking out from the edge of the large comfort backed chair facing the second set of patio doors, which she had opened. 

Taking care of his morning business, he walked into the living area and stopped once he could see her fully and sat down in the chair beside her. She was nursing a cup of coffee and staring out at the ocean. It looked as if she had been awake all night, thinking, crying. Without a word, he leaned across and offered her his hand. Without a glance she took it and he gave it a squeeze. Swollen puffy eyes turned to meet his and offered him the best smile she could manage before allowing them to drift back to the water. 

He couldn’t help but feel pain in his heart in the face of her sadness, even knowing where it had come from. Never asking her about it, and she never volunteering the information. It was as if they understood one another perfectly. 

**Hermes**

After leaving astrometrics and transferring the information over to the Hermes con, they began to make their way up to the bridge. When the turbolift opened, the entire bridge crew was lost in whatever catatonic nightmare the grey man had in store for them. The con beeped, letting Sian know that it had received the transfer. Accessing it, she plotted a course to a metaphasic class nebula that was two light-years away from the hidden planet. Sian had chosen it because it would help to negate certain weapon effects from a starship's deflector shields. The metaphasic healing properties also increased shield recharge rate. Eva had linked the ships together so all would fly as one.

Asa took a seat in his father’s chair; Eva had climbed up to sit in Senua’s as Sian took control of the con. She checked the connection again, making sure Voyager and Mercury were still able to take commands from her before getting underway. Piloting three starships at once would be a daunting process for anyone, let alone an eight-year-old girl, but if she were at all intimidated by it, her brother and sister would never have known. When all three ships’ coordinates were locked in, she initiated the slipstream drive and they were on their way, all they could do now was wait and hope.

“I hope Mom and Dad are alright,” Asa said worried, “I just have a really bad feeling that something terrible is happening to them.”

“Is it one of those feelings?” Sian asked.

He thought about it before speaking, “Maybe, it almost feels as if they’re being manipulated somehow.”

“Perhaps there is a way we can find out,” Sian suggested.

“How?” Asa asked, “We’re still too far away to know where they are for sure.”

“True,” Sian agreed, “However, you do have the ability to see great distances. It may not tell you exactly where they are, but it might give you a vague area or could tell you if they are in any physical danger.”

Asa looked a little unnerved by the prospect, “I can’t control it very well yet, and I don’t just see things from the outside, Sian, sometimes I see what’s going on inside a person’s head as well. Seeing things, I don’t want or was never meant to see.”

“It was only a suggestion Asa, but what I was also going to recommend was that Eva and I form a link with you, try and help you focus better. Perhaps the images wouldn’t be quite so random.”

He settled back into the chair, almost as if he were trying to hide in it. He didn’t know how or where their mother and father got the courage to do this. To take command of a starship or a fleet and decide what the appropriate action was, knowing that it could put the lives of every person who served under them in danger. To him, they had to be the bravest people alive and felt himself a poor substitute in comparison. Before he realized it, tears began making their way down his cheeks.

Eva climbed up onto his lap and used her fingers to push up the corners of his mouth, “Asa happy,” she tried to encourage in her own way, but it didn’t seem to be making him feel any better. Leaning against him, she hugged him around the torso and said, “No sad,” and he hugged her back.

“She is right you know,” Sian said, “You put far too much pressure on yourself, Asa. We are not our Mother and Father; we do not have the training or experience they have had which prepared them. How can you, an eleven-year-old boy expect to know all the things they do? The knowledge they posses did not come from some innate ability that one day manifested itself, they had to learn it the same way everyone else does. Granted we may have some advantages they do not, but we will learn just as they did.”

He wiped at his tears, feeling embarrassed. How was he supposed to know exactly what to do all the time? He idolized them and was always trying to push himself to live up to a self-imposed standard that was unrealistic. He wanted to be an admiral like his mother one day, or maybe a captain like his father. If they were capable of such achievements he should be too. Right? He was their son after all, but maybe his sisters were right. Maybe he should just focus on the things he can do and not the things he can’t right now.

“Okay, let’s try it and see what happens,” he said.

All of them moved to the floor and sat in front of the command chairs and formed a small circle. Holding hands, they closed their eyes. His sisters were focusing their energy on him, trying to help him secure the connection he was attempting to make. Soon he could see the colors and patterns of the weave flowing through space, and there were so many directions and distractions his mind could follow, but he had to focus. He could hear two voices he recognized close by, and with a thought, turned to meet them. It was Victoria and Senua. They were stuck in some kind of fluctuating pattern he couldn’t identify, and they were terrified.

His first instinct was to pull back, their fear permeating his consciousness. His sisters could sense his hesitance and offered their strength to overcome the obstacle and push forward. Slowly he moved back toward the connection and could see the source of their fear. It was a massive nightmarish creature standing in the ocean, one he somehow knew the name of, Marrku.

Reaching out with his mind, he tugged at the threads of the twisted pattern which was keeping them locked inside with the creature, and if he couldn’t find a way to get them out soon they would be lost forever, their minds having already surrendered to the reality Marrku had created. The process was moving too slow. How could he expect to unravel the reality in time to save them?

“Reach out to Senua, she will hear you,” came Sian’s voice, trying to provide the calming rational perspective he often lacked.

He refocused his efforts and bore a hole through the twisted pattern to reach her, “Senua, what you’re seeing is not our reality. It’s only the one Marrku wants you to see. Take Victoria’s hand and come with me before it’s too late,” he pleaded.

A voice worked its way into the back of Senua’s mind as she stared up at the creature, insistent, pleading, desperate, but was unable to make out any words, just the feeling the voice implied. “Something is wrong,” she said aloud.

“No shit,” Victoria replied, her eyes unable to tear themselves away from the monstrosity before her, “We have to get out of here, now,” then looked to Aristaios, “How did you survive the first attack? Was there someplace you hid that was fortified?”

“No,” he answered, “I was here, but he never touched me. I don’t know why.”

“Well, he certainly won’t have that same restraint when it comes to us. We need to get out of here,” She replied looking to Senua whose eyes were now closed, almost as though she were in a trance, “Senua?” she questioned. Suddenly her hand shot out and grasped her arm around the wrist, “What are you doing?” Victoria demanded, trying to break her grip but was finding it impossible, her species strength similar to that of the Vulcan’s. When she opened them, Victoria could see the silver pools of her eyes were beginning to swirl, they were hypnotizing, and found it difficult to look away but forced herself to do so.

“Kes, I need you!” Senua cried in her mind but heard nothing, even the voice that had begun at the back of her consciousness was no longer trying to speak to her, only silence.

The creature bellowed again and began to move forward as Senua stood frozen, focusing all her attention on listening for any reply. Victoria did not scare easily, in fact, it would be fair to say she didn’t scare at all, having been through far worse in her time with the ground pounders and the horror of her childhood. However, this situation was a little different. She had encountered a lot of things in her time, but a thirty-meter-tall creature coming out of the ocean who looked like a nightmarish creature out of an H.P. Lovecraft story was not one of them.

“Senua!” She shouted panicked, pulling against the hand gripping her wrist, “Snap out of it!”

One heavy footstep made landfall, creating a small earthquake as he bellowed again in that same low otherworldly sound that would have instantly unnerved the most hardened battle-worn soldier. At that moment she thought she was going to die, and for the first time in her life it really bothered her now that she’d found a purpose to keep going. It was more than just finding a home for Vellaen, she had found her sister again and she would protect her and her family. If she was dead who would do that in the same way she could and had?

A new sense of resilience and resolve flowed through her, reminding her of who she was and what she could do. Pulling back her free hand, she curled her fingers and led with the heel and struck it against Senua’s chest along the solar plexus hard enough to knock some of the wind out of her and break her concentration. She gasped and released her grip allowing Victoria to pull free and shout, “Run!”

It only took a second for the command to register before Senua turned and began running the opposite direction of the creature with Victoria right behind her. Both of them having to pay close attention to avoid every piece of debris or body that came across their path until they reached the road, ignoring the clearing altogether. They needed to make up the time where the obstacles had slowed them down.

The creature took another step, even slow, its leg span could easily cross the distance of ten meters. The ground shook, creating another small earthquake and causing them both to stumble but not lose their footing, slowing them down slightly and allowing the creature to cover more ground.

Asa continued to pull at the threads, using all his focus to free them in order to open the portal that would allow Senua and Victoria to leave. Sweat clung to the children’s bodies as they poured all their mental focus and fortitude into the goal, knowing if they didn’t they were dead. Finally, Asa pulled the last strand free and the portal opened.

They had regained sure footing and ran again in earnest, all the way back to the alpha quadrant if they had to. A portal opened in front of them, neither of them could have stopped in time to avoid it. At the same time, Victoria thought that if she were fleeing an explosion and had to reach a life pod with only thirty minutes of air left she might as well go for it then worry about how to create a new source of oxygen, at that point she had nothing left to lose.

Passing through the threshold, she nearly ran into Senua as she pivoted to avoid a turn at the end of the corridor and slowed a few feet past her instead. Both were breathing heavily, having literally run for their lives. Walking a few feet back the way they had come Victoria looked to see if the portal was still there, it wasn’t. She felt a sense of relief before remembering and it was as if Senua had read her mind. Rushing back around the corner, there she was bent over with one hand resting on her thigh, her uniform top partially unzipped, in the opposite hand extended toward her was the Horologium.

Victoria leaned over and started to laugh hard, “You, my dear, are an absolute legend.”

Her breathing started to slow as she began to straighten and put her hands behind her head in order to fully open her lungs and replied breathily, “I am neither famous nor notorious.”

The response only made her laugh harder, trying to get her breath back for a different reason. By the time she did, Senua was staring at her wondering where she’d missed the joke, “We’re really going to have to expand your understanding of colloquialisms.”

Senua only raised an eyebrow and zipped her uniform up the rest of the way before saying, “Computer, what ship am I currently occupying?”

_“The United Federation Starship Hermes.”_

Now that they had returned to where they began, they needed to see if anyone else was still conscious and tapped her com badge, “This is Commander Ostad to anyone in the fleet, please respond.”

Several seconds went by before they got a response, _“This is Sian Janeway, I am here with my siblings on the bridge of the Hermes. It is good to hear your voice Commander. I hope Lieutenant Mason is with you.”_

“She is.”

_“That is good to hear. Please meet us on the bridge at your earliest convenience. Sian out.”_

“Well,” Victoria began with an amused smile, “I suppose we should head up there.”

“After you Lieutenant,” she said gesturing to the turbolift at the end of the corridor, and was given an odd look, “Just in case we run into any more portals.”

“That was a joke Senua, admit it, you were trying to be funny,” the smile widening.

“If you say so, Lieutenant.”

When Victoria moved past her, a faint smile spread across her lips.


	17. Chapter 17

Chakotay had taken Kathryn’s advice and talked to his wife about his feelings, and it was one conversation he wished he hadn’t entered into willingly. Part of him felt relieved that she finally knew the extent of his feelings for Kathryn, but the other part which had hurt her loathed himself for it. She had left their quarters and was making other arrangements on where she would be living for the rest of the trip.

As much as he didn’t want to hurt anyone, especially Mira, he couldn’t go on lying to himself about their future. In many ways, he was glad they had never managed to become pregnant. Perhaps it was the universe’s way of telling him that their relationship was doomed to fail before it had even begun. He’d gone into it dishonestly, knowing he could never commit to her fully, his heart always belonging to a woman who was married to a man half her age who had one child and another on the way, and he despised it.

He didn’t dislike Jason, actually finding him to be one of the nicest guys he’d ever met. What he didn’t like was that he was with a woman who should have been his, could have been his if circumstances had been different. The thought of them being together didn’t sit right, and never would, and just the passing thought of them being intimate got his ire up. It shouldn’t have. It was his right as her husband, and if they wanted to make love five times a day he had no legitimate right to object other than the fact that he was in love with her.

When Seven had let it slip to him that she was pregnant, believing he was already aware of it, he could have punched something then but held off until he’d found a better way to release his frustration.

Once he was on the holodeck, he tried to release his aggression in a positive way, but the more he thought about it the angrier he became until he’d worked himself up into a rage. Disengaging the safety protocols and raising the level of difficulty, he wanted a real fight, one where the risk of injury was no longer off the table. When the bell rang this time, he was ready to take his chances and let the chips fall where they may. By the time he’d finished the round, he had fractured all the bones in his hands. The compression trauma causing hairline fractures to the radius and ulna and jamming the humerus into his scapula. He had to call upon the computer to reach sickbay on the com.

Now he was sitting in his quarters alone with one woman who loved him but wasn’t interested in seeing him again because he had feelings for another woman who did love him but wasn’t interested because she was married to another man. No one’s life could be this screwed up, could it?

***

Liam was playing with his wooden blocks; Kathryn was on the floor playing with him. The blocks had pictures of different astrological phenomena, planets, stars, asteroids, comets. She was attempting to help him recognize the items and match them with the corresponding square. He was doing well at first, but after a few minutes started getting bored and just placed them in at random. Kathryn had to keep reminding herself that he was only two years old and had a short attention span. 

“You’re going to become a scientist one day. Aren’t you love?” She cooed at the boy, and he reached out and grabbed her nose and laughed. “This is certainly unbecoming of an admiral Liam,” the unusual tones beginning to alter her voice patterns as he continued to hold the appendage closed, finding the sounds amusing. 

Jason entered the room with two cups of chamomile tea and sat them down on the coffee table. “I think someone is way past their bedtime.”

“Me,” Kathryn said with a laugh after removing his hand from her nose.

“No not Mommy,” Jason said.

She whispered into her son’s ear and he said, “Daddy!”

“I’m afraid it’s Liam, he needs to get his sleep,” Jason walked over and picked the boy up. “Say goodnight to Mommy.” He reached for her, practically throwing himself into her arms trying to get out of being taken to bed. She gave him a hug and kiss and then took and carried him into his bedroom herself. “You’re getting to be so heavy. What has your Daddy been feeding you?”

“Candy!” He cried.

She smiled, “I very much doubt that,” and placed him on the bed, “Now what kind of stories or songs do you want tonight?”

“The rainbow song.” He answered.

“Alright,” she replied sitting next to him, “I’ll get your father to sing it to you.”

“No! You sing!”

Kathryn shook her head, “Honey, I can’t sing. Your father can-”

“No, you!”

“Yes sir,” she replied with a fake salute and he snuggled down under the blanket in his warm soft bed, he listened to the sounds she was making in an attempt to sing ‘Somewhere over the Rainbow.’ She tried to keep her voice as even and soft as she could as she stroked the short dark brown hair just above the nape of his neck, it was a spot she knew would calm him and usually relaxed him enough to send him to sleep. Tonight would be no different. By the time she finished the song, he was out. Giving him a kiss on the forehead, she carefully stood up and reentered the living area, sliding the door closed behind her. 

Jason had already put the toy blocks away and was sitting on the sofa waiting with the cup of tea. She sat next to him and picked up the cup and took a sip, letting the warm liquid slide over her tongue and down her throat. His hand rose and rubbed her back lovingly and she turned her head to give him a smile before taking another sip from the cup.

“He missed you today,” Jason said softly.

“I missed him too, but you know what the job is like. Duty never ends,” She replied trying to keep the tone light.

“How much longer will be staying in Mithren space now that we know there isn’t any threat?”

“We’re still establishing a presence with them, so I imagine it will be a few more days. I can also use that time to finish my report to Starfleet Command regarding the incident with Sobek and the Impeteux.”

He shuttered, “I’m glad I don’t have your job.”

She gave him a crooked smile, “Not as glamorous as it appears is it?”

“Not even slightly,” He answered with a smile of his own.

They sat in silence for a few moments, allowing their thoughts to drift. Kathryn couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss Chakotay had given her the other day, even now she could still feel the impression of his lips on her own, the conversation they’d had. She knew he felt she’d made a terrible mistake by marrying Jason, and if she had it was certainly hers to make. In many ways it had been better that she did, Liam had his father nearby who was attentive to both their needs. A man who was always kind, thoughtful, and wanted nothing more than to please her and care for his family. It made what she was currently feeling about Chakotay seem like a betrayal. 

“I was thinking,” he said interrupting her thoughts, “maybe we can take Liam to the holodeck on Friday afternoon. There’s a program of the park we take him to in San Francisco that I’m sure he’d enjoy.”

“He’d love that, but I’ll have to check with Azan in order to make sure I don’t have anything already scheduled for that afternoon.”

He nodded, hating the limited time he seemed to have with her. She was the admiral in charge of the fleet, the title coming with a ton of responsibility. His mind wandered and strayed upon a random memory, one that made him release a chuckle. Getting her attention, she turned her head toward him and raise an eyebrow. “Sorry,” he explained, “just a stupid memory crossed my mind is all. It made me laugh.”

She leaned back on the sofa, “What was it?” She asked curiously. 

There was a faint smile on his lips as he shook his head slightly, “It was guy talk. Nothing you’d want to hear about.”

“Are you trying to say my ears are too delicate to handle it?” She challenged with a soft laugh.

“No, just awkward to talk to your wife about. Considering she was one of the topics of conversation.”

This really seemed to grab her interest, “Okay, now you have my attention.”

His face began to turn slightly red in embarrassment as he sat down his cup of tea on the table in front of him. Seeing the reaction made her think that whatever the conversation was about, must have been fairly inappropriate, “It was shortly after we were married, and I was stationed onboard the USS Titan for a couple of months.”

“Captain Riker’s ship.”

He nodded, “You remember my best friend Julian Moser was also on assignment with me?” Now it was her turn to nod, “We had been invited to a little boy’s night get together after our shifts were over. Julian couldn’t make it until right away and said he’d have to meet me there. So, there I was in the quarters of some random Lieutenant with about eight other guys who had already been drinking by the time I got there. It was the first time I’d worked with any of them, so they didn’t really know anything about me other than I was married with a young son. They were playing a game called…” He trailed off, his skin flushing to an even deeper shade of red, not really wanting to say anymore.

She smiled at his awkwardness, “A game, go on.”

He took a breath and replied, “It was called marry, fuck, kill.”

She nearly choked on the tea she was swallowing as an unexpected laugh forced its way past her lips, then set down the cup and commented, “Such sophisticated games you boy’s play.”

“I really shouldn’t be telling you this,” he said beginning to laugh himself, “if any guy knew about it I’d probably have my man card revoked.”

“There’s cards for that?” She smirked.

“Oh yeah,” he said feigning seriousness, “there’s a secret ceremony for it and everything. Just don’t ask about the Orion dancing girls and the mud wrestling pit and we’ll be fine,” then gave her a sly smile.

Another laugh escaped her as she brought her legs up in front of her on the sofa and held them around the ankles, “Okay, back to the game.”

“Back to the game,” he repeated, then refocused, “The object of the game is that someone names a well-known person from popular culture. You have to decide on those choices whether you would either marry, fuck, or kill them.”

“Sounds straightforward,” she commented, still smiling.

“At one point your name came up.” 

Her eyebrow raised again, “Do I really want to know what category I was in?”

“Probably not.”

“Let me guess,” she said playfully, “It was kill. I’m sure there have been quite a few people over the last couple of years alone who would have liked to see that.”

He laughed, “No one I’ve heard of, but no.”

“No?” She thought for a second then replied, “I can’t imagine why anyone would want to marry me, other than you of course,” she said with a laugh.  
He began to laugh as well, “Wrong again.”

“No!” She said stunned, “Really?”

He nodded in confirmation, “Out of the nine of us there at the time, all but one said fuck.”

“Let me guess, you were the one who said kill,” and laughed.

Laughing along with her he answered, “Actually, you’re wrong again. It wasn’t me, one other guy in the room said marry.”

She couldn’t believe she was actually having this conversation with her husband and felt herself going red in embarrassment, “I’m not sure how I feel about this.”

“I know how I feel about it,” and rose a suggestive eyebrow.

“Stop.” She said embarrassed and gave him a light smack on the arm, her face turning an even deeper shade of red.

He didn’t continue to rib her, knowing she was already uncomfortable, so he continued with the story, “The part I was actually laughing to myself about was what Julian said when he entered the room. One of the guys had quickly asked him the same question, and without missing a beat he says, ‘Oh defiantly fuck, but I’d have to kill Jason first, he’s married to her.’ The looks I got from the guys around the room was the same look of shock you have on your face right now.”

And she was, just completely shocked and stunned, “I’m never going to be able to look at your friend Julian the same way again.”

He rubbed her leg in sympathy, “Take it as a compliment, I know I did. I didn’t realize how many guys around my own age saw you as a sex symbol.”

She looked up at him, her face still completely red, “You’re not helping,” Then said, “If it was Seven or B’Elanna I could see that, but…”

“I know,” he said with a smile, “You don’t see yourself that way, and a lot of women don’t unless they’re vain, which certainly doesn’t describe you,” he shrugged, “Guys like what they like for all kinds of reasons. The famed captain of a lost starship in the delta quadrant who also happens to be pretty hot defiantly qualifies.”

“Just stop talking.” She said putting her hands over her face and rested her forehead on her knees, on the verge of dying from embarrassment.

“If it makes you feel any better, their names were mentioned too, and got mixed reviews.”

“I don’t what to know anymore,” she said holding her hands up as if in surrender. 

He laughed, “Alright love. The subject is officially dropped.”

“Thank you.” She replied some of the red was beginning to leave her cheeks as she put her feet back down on the floor and reached for the teacup.

“I want to ask you something, and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

“Alright.” She answered, taking a sip from the cup and leaned back onto the sofa again, curling her feet up under her. 

“In a very distant way, it’s kind of related to what we were talking about and something that’s crossed my mind on occasion,” She gave him a warning look, 

“Relax, I did say in a distant way.”

“Proceed.”

“The subject has never come up, but I have wondered how many guys you have been intimate with.”

She rolled her eyes, “Does it matter?”

“No, but I’m curious.”

“Why? How many women have you been intimate with?”

“Including you?” She nodded, “Eleven.”

The cup paused before it touched her lips, “Somehow, I’m not surprised,” then took another sip.

He waited for her admission, when it didn’t come he asked, “So?” 

“So, what?”

He smiled, “How many?”

“Not as many as you, that’s for sure,” She replied with a crooked smile.

“Kathryn, come on. Tell me,” he was almost pleading.

With the smile still on her lips, she replied, “Including you?” He nodded, “Four.”

“I’m surprised by that.”

She gave him a questioning look, “So you think I’m some kind of Captain Kirk who goes from planet to planet sleeping with every man who tickles my fancy?”

He frowned, “I wouldn’t go that far. I just thought you would have been with more men than that, that’s all.”

“Because I’m older?”

“Maybe, you are an extremely beautiful woman Kathryn regardless of whether you see it or not, so I just assumed you would have had more experience is all.”

She laughed, “I may not have as cavalier an attitude about sex as others, but it doesn’t mean that a limited number of partners negates my level of experience.”

Jason nodded thoughtfully, “You’re right of course.”

“I was engaged to two of them,” she admitted softly.

“Oh?”

“Yes, I lost him and my father in an accident many years ago. I was the only survivor.”

“I’m so sorry honey,” he said reaching out and taking her hand.

“It’s alright, it was a long time ago,” and a subject she didn’t did want to discuss further, “the second was a man I grew up with, we were engaged until I became lost in the delta quadrant. Eventually, he moved on with this life and did get married, has a son. I’m happy for him.” She thought wistfully. 

“I take it the third was Captain Chakotay,” he blurted out with no intent to harm.

Slowly her eyes moved to his, stunned, angry, “Why would you say that?”

He looked like a scolded child under her gaze, “I’m sorry, I just assumed…”

“What? What did you assume?” She said setting her cup down on the table, her body stiff as she sat up on the edge of the seat.

He felt pressured to explain himself, of where he may have gotten the idea. It was something he had never planned to ever tell her, but found he had to, “The first night we were together, you called out his name and said you loved him while we were…” the words trailed off.

She looked more stunned than angry now. “I told you how I felt about him?”

“Yes,” he admitted and saw the anger returning back to her eyes.

“You’ve known for three years and never mentioned it?” He said nothing, “All this time you’ve been accusing me of comparing you to him, and part of you was right yes because he knew when to stand up to me, when to tell me I was wrong, he wasn’t content to just sit idly by and let me make all the major decisions without giving me his input, but I never slept with him.”

“I’m sorry Kathryn,” and he was, but it didn’t stop a fire from igniting in his heart over the pain he felt knowing her feelings about him. “But you wanted to. I know you did,” and he saw her eyes widen slightly, deflating her anger, “You may have never gone through with the physical act but in your mind, you were always thinking about him. I was the poor substitute you were left with. I might have been able to let it go after that night, you were drunk and people say a lot of things they might not have under those circumstances, but when we made love for the first time on Risa I knew you still loved him, wanted to be with him.

“You clung to me, crying against my shoulder afterward. It left me feeling numb at the time, but later it felt as if I were making you confront and abandon your feelings for him. That I was this awful man who only wanted to love you and you were this poor woman I was forcing myself on. You stayed up all night crying about it as if I had told you to make peace with it in some way, that you were going to be stuck with me for the rest of your life so you’d better get used to it. I’m sick to death of making myself feel miserable about it, knowing I can never measure up to your precious Chakotay.”

He had stunned her with the revelation and made her feel ashamed, horrified, and disgusted with herself for having made him feel that way, whether she realized it or not.

“It makes complete sense to me now why in all the time we’ve been together not once while we were making love you ever told me you loved me unless I said it first, or went out of your way to do something for me. I’ve never demanded anything of you, not even your love, and I should have. If I was ever going to demand anything from you it should have been that.”

Liam wandered in crying from all the yelling. Kathryn rose to get him, tears falling from her eyes as she picked him up and held him close, trying to making soothing sounds against his ear as she rubbed his back to clam him. 

Jason stood there, angry, hurt, his hands curled into tight fists, “I’m not going to make you suffer me further.”

“Jason,” she pleaded softly, “don’t do this. We can talk about it. Let me get Liam back to bed and we’ll work this out.”

“No Kathryn,” he replied eerily clam, despite his body language, “there isn’t enough talking in the universe that can fix this. If you were ever going to love me the way I hoped you would one day you’d have already done it. It’s never going to happen; I know that now.” Then he turned and headed into the bedroom.

She wondered what he doing, her fear rising to meet any possible number of expectations. When he returned with a packed duffel, it was then she knew.

“I will always love you, Kathryn, I can’t help myself, but I can’t do this anymore. I will always be there for you and our children whenever you need me. I can’t put all the blame on you, I know that when I went into this marriage I was competing with a memory, one I foolishly hoped you would someday let go of. I wanted it too much, needed it too much, and set myself up for a colossal amount of hurt and disappointment. I can only blame myself for it. I expected too much of you, and I’m sorry if I ever pressured you to give more than you were comfortable with.” He paused, staring at the door. He looked as though he wanted to say something further. Instead, what he decided to say was, “Goodbye Kathryn,” and left. 

She stood there numb, holding her son who was beginning to calm, too young to understand what had just happened between his parents. It was over, she knew it in her heart, and felt that all of it was her fault.


	18. Chapter 18

**Hermes**

Senua went to main engineering. She wanted to run some tests on the Horologium and see if she could get an idea of how the item worked. How it was possible to hold and control time, even for a short while, before considering how to amplify it. 

When Victoria entered the bridge, Sian was in the process of disengaging the slipstream drive and switching over to conventional engines. On the viewscreen, she could see Voyager and Mercury in front of them as they entered the nebula. She felt a tug on her leg as she watched the ships drift inside. Looking down, Eva was staring back up at her and raised her arms. She smiled and picked her up before carrying her further onto the bridge. Asa glanced over at her from the captain’s chair as she stopped near the railing. 

“Comfortable?” She asked, looking to Asa with a playful expression. He flushed and began to stand, only stopping at the wave of her hand, “The three of you have been in charge since we’ve been gone. Why bother stopping now?” He smiled and gave her a nod, appearing pleased with her approval.

When Sian had secured all systems and ordered each ship to drop a subspace anchor to keep them from drifting, she turned to face them, “Where is Commander Ostad?” She asked looking to Victoria.

“Main engineering. She wants to study the relic we were given.”

“The Horologium?” She queried.

“How did you…?”

Sian only provided her with a knowing look before continuing, “The Federation does not yet possess the technology to truly understand it yet, but they will.”

Victoria felt as if she’d just wandered into another reality where the children were now smarter and wiser than their adult counterparts, “Hold on a moment here,” she began puzzled, “I don’t recall bumping my head at any point today so I’m going to need someone to fill me in.”

“There isn’t time,” it was Asa who spoke up, “We have to find a way to reach the planet. Our parents are down there, and before you ask, how we know isn’t as important as what will happen if we don’t.”

Still feeling confused and a bit skeptical she asked anyway, “What are you expecting to happen?”

“Boom!” Eva cried and bashed her fist into the opposite hand. 

“Simplistic, but apt,” Sian said, “the planet is currently producing and storing enough psionic energy to disable every living being within fifty light-years and place them in a permanent cationic state. Within ten light-years their brains will liquify.”

“I’m going to need more information on how any of you know this. And before you tell me there’s no time you’re going to need to find a way to make it,” she insisted.

Sian and Asa looked at each other as if silently discussing the details from across the room. After about a minute Asa spoke, “We know you’re friends with Kes, and we also know that you’re aware of how she and Senua intervened in rescuing us from New Earth and delivering us to our current parents,” the only expression that changed was the slightest widening of her eyes, so slight that the majority of people wouldn’t have noticed, “No one told us, Kes used her abilities to unlock our innate telepathic and phonic talents. We’ve seen some things, so…we know we can trust you not to say anything, especially to our parents, if we’re able to get them back.”

“So, it is vital that you do not attempt to stop us from trying to retrieve them. We are aware of what we have to do, and the fewer others know about it the better,” Sian finished for him, “Eva will stay behind, of course, she knows how the Horologium can be interfaced with the fleet and how to amplify the power necessary to destroy the planet once they are safe.”

Internally she was stunned. Not only by what she’s heard but what they knew, “Let’s say I go along with this, and I’m not saying that I will. How will you get down to the planet? There is a massive defense grid in orbit.”

“We have a plan for that,” Sian replied.

“Yeah, we got that covered,” Asa agreed.

She couldn’t help but stare at the both of them, unsure what to think. However, something inside her, some instinct she couldn’t explain was telling her they were the only ones who could end this, “This goes against every regulation and protocol I know, not to mention just plain common sense. Everything in me says you don’t send children into battle; you don’t risk your most precious resource and send your least experienced into a fight. Also, if your parents ever found out I allowed it they’d kill me. I can’t say yes with a clear conscience, we’ll have to find another way.”

“There is no other way!” Asa cried and stood up, becoming confrontational, “Who do you think opened that portal and saved you and Senua from Marrku? That was us! Neither of you would be here right now if we didn’t!”

“Calm yourself brother. Nothing can be resolved by shouting,” Sian said.

“That was the three of you?” She questioned.

“Yes,” Asa replied calmer, doing as his sister advised but could see his anger bubbling below the surface, “He has our parent's minds trapped in another reality, as he does the entire fleet. I’m not certain who interfered with you and Senua or how you were physically trapped inside the reality, but we suspect it may have had something to do with Aristaios so he could give you the Horologium. It’s the only explanation we can come up with that makes any sense.”

Sian stood and walked the short distance over to her, hands clasped behind her back, “We are aware that you are skeptical, it is how your mind works. Even with all you have seen, all you have heard, you still cling to disbelief. You are unprepared to allow us to take the risk, even when your instincts are telling you that this is the only way to save us all. We accept that you do not wish to put your faith in the hands of children, your deeper instincts telling you it is foolhardy, and you would be right. In this case, however, you would be making a grievous error.”

Victoria knew she was only eight, and she looked every bit of it but spoke with a reason and wisdom far beyond her years. She was crazy to even consider the idea, to actually allow them to proceed, but that’s exactly what she was going to do, “Alright, we do this your way. But I have a few conditions of my own. You will wear a transport enhancer at all times and keep an open com link. You will need to take two additional enhancers for the Admiral and the Captain so we can beam them aboard.”

“Agreed,” Sian replied, “You will also need to take Eva down to engineering so she can help Senua with the modification to amplify the Horologium’s power,” this time Victoria agreed. Turning to her brother she said, “You, my brother, will need to remain here. I will need your guidance once I arrive on the planet.”

He was flabbergasted, “Oh no, I’m coming with you,” he said moving up to her.

Placing a hand on his shoulder she replied, “You are unprepared to handle any physical confrontation we might encounter. You will help by warning me of any hazards ahead. I cannot protect both of us alone. Your talents will be put to greater use here,” facing him fully she placed the other hand on his shoulder, “Just as you protected me while we were on New Earth then stepped aside, it is time for me to protect you.” 

He didn’t seem to like it, but he nodded, “Promise me you’ll come back.”

“I promise I will do everything I can to try. No one can promise more than that.”

He hugged her fiercely as if this might be the last time he ever saw her, “I love you, Sian.”

“As I love you, Asa,” she replied before pulling back and turned to Eva in Victoria’s arms, “I certainly cannot forget you, my brave sweet little sister. I love you just as much.”

Victoria lowered her so they could exchange and hug and kiss, “Bye Bye Sian,” Eva said, tears forming in her eyes. 

“If you will clear the Delta Flyer for launch, I will be on my way once I have retrieved the transport enhancers and a few additional pieces of equipment,” she said to Victoria.

She nodded and replied, “Good luck.”

“Vulcan’s do not believe in luck, but since I am not, I will accept that,” then smiled, causing her to return it. 

**Hidden Planet, location of the Remnant**

When she had her gear stowed aboard the flyer, Sian began the preflight check sequence before exiting the Hermes. Reaching the planet, it appeared that part of the defense grid was damaged from a previous alien encounter. Half did not appear to be functional, she stayed ready for a fight, just in case. When she was closer, heard a beeping from the console before her, it was tactical. Although the two pieces of the grid had shown as non-functional on initial scans, she was getting a reading that they were still turning in her direction.

Linking the firing control to the helm, she used it to skim around the grid and fired upon the link between the grids to disable them. Moving the flyer as if it were skidding in a circle, she used the same technique to disable several more until she was able to reach the surface and land somewhere near the tower structure.

In her belt pack, she held the two transport enhancers, and on her back was a long metallic staff along with a sidearm she got off the shuttle. She gave the delta flyer the recall order to ascend back into orbit and wait for her instructions for transport before making her way inside the structure, and hopefully to where her parents were being held. Using the com link, she’d established through the flyer to relay to the Hermes she said, “I am ready to enter the tower.”

 _“Don’t try to be a hero,”_ Victoria replied, _“Just get to your parents, take down the shield blocking their signals and place the enhancers, then get out.”_

“Understood. Has Eva and Senua finalized the amplification of the Horologium?”

_“Yes, the deflectors of all three ships are linked and ready to emit the pulse when all of you are clear.”_

“Good, once we have been transported aboard the flyer, I have set the auto navigation to return back to the Hermes,” she replied and cautiously entered the same opening Tuvok and Ocin had used previously. “Asa?”

_“I’m here Sian.”_

“I will need you to guide me to where our parents are.”

_“I’m ready, let me know when you are.”_

“I will. Stand by.” She took a deep breath and headed further into the tunnel. 

**Mercury**

That night, Liam slept with her in the bed she normally shared with her husband, but little sleep came. Without intent, she had hurt Jason deeply. All he’d ever wanted was to love her, please her, never demanding anything of or from her. She should have tried harder to let go of her feelings for Chakotay and emotionally commit to him fully but couldn’t. They had shared too much, known each other too well over the years for her to feel otherwise. 

She thought back to the moment she had to tell Jason she was pregnant, unwilling to deny him the information. In the depths of his eyes, she could see the news had given his heart permission to hope. That perhaps one day, she too might come to see this child as a blessing that had bound and intertwined their lives together, but she couldn’t. At the time, it felt more like a punishment than a blessing. That the universe was implementing its own brand of poetic justice by giving her the very thing she wanted, just not with the person she wanted it to be with. 

She made it clear from the beginning that there would never be more between them, that she would be willing to raise this child with him as friends, knowing she would have to at least allow herself to form some kind of relationship with him. It had worked for several months, meeting him for dinner at either her apartment or his at least once a week so they could talk about the baby and how their continued association would progress. 

He was so much like Chakotay in many ways, even the resemblance was striking, and often taking her off guard if she allowed her thoughts to slip and wasn’t paying close attention to her actions. Without realizing it, she had been planting a seed the entire time, unknowingly sending out signals that gave him a reason to hope for more of a future with her. Cultivating his feelings and allowing him to fall in love with her. Looking back, she should have seen the signs, all of them clear and present in the vision of hindsight. 

Had she willfully chosen to ignore them because deep down she needed something more herself? Maybe, she had felt more alone then, than she had at any point she was on Voyager. At least there, when she chose to be alone she always knew Chakotay was nearby if she ever needed him. The potential of something more evolving between them one day giving her hope for a future she couldn’t allow herself to indulge then. But later, once they were home, things could be different. 

Seven had entered the picture without notice near the end of their journey, a journey she had no idea at the time would be ending as soon as it did. She hadn’t been aware of their relationship and had no reason to suspect otherwise. Neither understanding nor knowing at the time that the romantic relationship she’d initiated was part of a plan she’d implemented in an attempt to bring her and Chakotay together. However, something had changed between them during the other Admiral Janeway’s timeline, they had fallen in love and gotten married.

The look in the older Admiral’s eyes when she informed her of Seven’s death and how she died in the arms of her husband Chakotay had changed her. That neither she nor Chakotay would be the same after that loss. In those few seconds, she had caught a glimpse of how deeply the knowledge had affected her future self. Years of suppressed feelings flashing by in an instant, making her eyes grow hard. She may have been able to hide those feelings from others, but she couldn’t hide them from her, the connection the Admiral was so quick to point out, worked both ways, they were the same person. 

By the time the Admiral would have discovered the relationship between them she would have had to let all her hopes for a future with him go. The knowledge she would have eventually obtained regarding how the Vidiian cure had changed her immune responses would have no longer mattered. She’d have been sixty by the time she returned home, the opportunity to start a family of her own long gone. 

One thing she never mentioned was the fate of Chakotay himself, choosing to keep that knowledge buried. She had been more concerned with trying to manipulate the feelings of Seven and herself, surprising her with the knowledge of Seven’s impending death. She had been too distracted to ever ask. Looking back on it, in many ways felt that was the point. She didn’t want her to know about Chakotay or what became of him, the memory perhaps too painful for even she to allow herself to acknowledge freely. Whatever his fate, it had changed her, made her more cynical than she herself ever thought capable of. She had once told her that she refused to believe she could ever become as cynical as she was, now she was here, proving her point. 

There were a lot of things she hadn’t told her about the future, the fate of all her extended family for one, and knew that the cynicism she’d developed over the years had more to do with a culmination of experiences, some affecting her more deeply than others. The picture was incomplete, one she had refused to allow her to disclose in favor of the almighty temporal prime directive. Part of her now wishes she had, perhaps then she could have avoided the painful experience of the present. However, that would also mean Liam would never have been born, nor would she be pregnant with her current child. The losses outweighing the gains. 

She wished she had someone to talk to. If nothing else, she wished she could speak with Chakotay the way she had been able to on Voyager. He was the only person she’d ever felt that comfortable with, able to completely drop her guard and just be free to be who she was without judgment. To tell him about all the things that threatened to tear her apart inside. All her hopes, fears, dreams. He had listened to her with patience and understanding, and always from a place of love that remained unspoken between them. She needed that now more than ever. 

Tears fell from her eyes as she lay next to her son, gazing upon his sweet little face as he lay asleep, his tiny hand curled around her finger. She had so many hopes for his future, that he would never have to make the same kind of sacrifices she did when it came to life or love. She did love his father in her own way, had to make a kind of peace with it in order to move forward. Hurting him had never been her intention, even knowing she could never be the woman he one day hoped she would. She wanted to give her children a loving family, one they would be able to look back on with affection. 

It was only now she finally understood that she could have, realizing it didn’t have to be with Jason as she felt it should have been at the time. Thinking she was doing the right thing by taking him into her life as a partner instead of the friend she had originally intended. Those two months he took care of her began to change her perceptions of him, leading her to entertain the possibility that if she just gave him a chance he might one day become everything she needed. It would never be the same as what she could have had with Chakotay, but it might be enough. She was wrong, had been wrong from the beginning but refused to acknowledge it. 

Jason was gone, and whatever their new relationship would evolve into would no longer include him as her husband. The flimsy connection which had tied them together had been severed, and there was no going back. She shouldn’t feel this way but found herself relieved that it finally was over and was able to move on with her life on her own terms.

She had overheard a conversation between Doctor Morgan and Counselor Hamilton regarding her and Chakotay’s recent separation. Eavesdropping was something she would normally never allow herself to do. She had contacted Hamilton over the com to set up a time to speak with him and ask more detailed questions regarding his report on Sobek, in order to complete her own report before sending it to Starfleet Command.

He was in the middle of a discussion with her when she’d communicated him, and sometimes, not often, one of the conversing parties would forget to cut the link due to a distraction in most cases. When this had happened to her in the past she would simply cut the link and move on, and she had planned to do just that until she heard Mira speak Chakotay’s name. Her hand froze, hovering over her com badge. 

She heard her say that Chakotay had admitted his feelings for the Admiral to her in private, and how she’d always known he had feelings for another woman but just didn’t know who she was, refusing to ever mention her by name until then. How she felt relieved they had never managed to become pregnant after trying for nearly two years knowing what she knew now, and how foolish she felt in allowing herself to believe that whoever this woman was he would let go of his feelings for her eventually. Believing that all she needed to do was show him patience, love, and understanding. Assuming that the woman in question either did not return his feelings or she couldn’t. In many ways, his behavior led her to mistakenly come to the conclusion that the woman was deceased, and he’d never gotten the sense of closure he needed to move on. The mention of her name too painful for him to acknowledge, much less share with anyone. 

She had closed the link then, feeling overwhelmed by the description of how deeply he loved her, mourning his loss of her. She wanted to comfort him as she had done so many times in the past. Letting him know that she understood his feelings but decided against it in the end. It would only serve to keep the wound open for both of them and give him false hope that something more were possible when she was still committed to trying to make her marriage work with Jason. That was a few days ago, and now there was nothing but her own guilt over the reasons why her marriage was ending holding her back. 

Jason was right when he said there wasn’t enough talking in the universe that could fix their relationship. Regardless of what promises were made or counseling they entered into, her feeling for Chakotay couldn’t be erased, they were too much a part of her, just as Chakotay’s feelings for her were too much a part of him. She could feel the inexorable pull of the universe, the one which had always kept them separated begin to loosen its hold. She would talk to him tomorrow and see where the future would take her.


	19. Chapter 19

**Hidden Planet, location of the Remnant**

With her staff in hand, she continued down the tunnel and heard her brother’s voice in her head. Getting down the tunnel had been the easy part, but now that it was about to turn into a blind corner, it was certainly a cause for concern. 

“There are a group of necromorphs around the next corner and a door at the end of the tunnel.”

“How many are in the group?”

“Four…no five!” He corrected. “You’ll have to find another way around.”

“Wait.” She replied and continued stealthily. 

“What are you doing?” He could see what she was seeing as well as the path ahead, “Are you insane? There are too many!”

“Please be silent brother. I need to focus.” She instructed, and surprisingly, he did.

Bending down to one knee, she pressed a button on the staff. From each end sprang a Vibro blade as thin as monofilament wire, one pass would sever any limb on contact. She didn’t need to kill them, only disable. It would be more difficult for them to regenerate from pieces rather than from a limb being simply severed. 

This is what she’d been training for without realizing it, all that time perfecting her skills in the art of Suus Mahna leading to this moment. She needed to be fast, faster than she’s ever been if she were going to take them down in time before they had a chance to regenerate. Haste would be her means of attaining that goal. She began to focus her talents inward, using them to enhance and build upon her own natural abilities. 

It was like watching a sprinter at the starting block, her body raised slightly and angled against wind resistance, her legs rising to the optimal position, heel up, toes down, ready to push off. She would be light, fast, and sure of her aim before striking. If not, she would be dead. 

She shot off at a blur, her feet rising to meet the wall and running along it. She saw the first necromorph and spun the staff as she passed, it fell to the ground in large chunks. Jumping across to the next wall, the staff spun again, another necromorph fell in pieces. The final three were now moving impossibly fast to meet her. Jumping down to the center of the tunnel she rushed to meet them. 

When they were close enough to strike she slid between them like a baseball player stealing home and spun the staff again, taking their legs out from under them. Something had hit her right arm, knocking her slightly off balance. Jumping to her feet, she ran to the door at the end of the corridor without looking back, knowing it would mean safety, at least for a while. 

Passing the threshold, she turned to hit the large button on the wall beside it and saw the door begin to lower into place. The three necromorphs she’d just taken the legs off of were now moving quickly across the floor, spiderlike in their movements. The door seemed to be moving too slowly, unsure if it would close the gap in time. She readied herself for another round if necessary. One of them had passed the others, she twirled the staff in her hands, preparing to strike. As the creature’s arms shot under the gap the weight of the door pinned them against the floor and she breathed a sigh of relief. 

Her brother's voice erupted in her head, “What did Victoria say about not trying to be a hero?”

“It was necessary.” She replied with a slight smile and caught the little breath she expelled before noticing the slight pain in her right arm. Turning it to look, saw one of them had scratched her, ripping the sleeve of her jumpsuit. More importantly, the transport enhancer had been damaged and was no longer functional. 

It didn’t matter. She would deal with it later if or when the time came that she might need it. Mentioning it would change nothing and only delay her purpose, causing them to worry, and she needed Asa to stay focused if she was going to reach them. To her, saving her parents was all that mattered. 

**Hermes**

It was Chakotay’s day off, Kathryn had checked the rotation after leaving Liam with the caregivers and contacted her assistant Azan to let him know where she would be this morning but didn’t know how long she would be there. He assured her that he would arrange her schedule to accommodate her absence and to let him know when she would be available again. Thanking him, she transported over to the Hermes and made her way to Chakotay’s quarters.

She stood at the door; her finger hesitant over the chime. Would he accept her as a friend? Until she tried to speak with him she’d never know. Forcing herself to press the chime, the door opened, and he was sitting in his chair having a cup of tea. Today he wore no uniform, only a pair of loose slacks and a short sleeve red button-up shirt. “Kathryn,” he said in surprise and stood up. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“I know, but I was hoping we could talk for a while if you didn’t have any plans.”

“Not at the moment. Please come in. Can I get you anything?” He asked, seemingly happy to see her.

“Coffee would be lovely.” She said and took a seat on the sofa, feeling somewhat relieved by his behavior, it was a good sign.

Handing her the beverage, she thanked him as he took the seat next to her, “I must say I’m happy to see you.”

“You are?” She questioned, taking a sip. 

“Yes, I’ve been wanting to apologize for what happened in your office the last time we talked. I know I was out of line and shouldn’t have said the things I said. Or kissed you like that.” He said trying to keep things friendly, deciding he would rather enjoy her company than chase her away, “I apologize for making you uncomfortable.”

“It’s alright,” she replied, having already forgotten most of what he’d said other than the part that he still loved her, and that kiss.

“How is Jason?”

She sat down the cup and placed her hands in her lap instead, and gazed down at her fingers nervously, “I don’t know. He left last night.”

He appeared confused. “Left to go where?”

“From our quarters. We’re no longer together. He’s left and made other arrangements for the rest of the tour. I assume we will be getting a divorce after we return.”

“What happened?” He asked surprised, “I thought things were going well between the two of you.”

She laughed bitterly, “Not as well as I led you to believe apparently.”

“Did you want to talk about it?”

And there he was, the friend she remembered so well from all their years on Voyager, the one who was patient, understanding, and without judgment. Where had he been hiding? “There’s not really much to discuss what happened, but I did hear that you and Mira have separated. I’m very sorry to hear that.”

He seemed uncomfortable, “I’m not going to ask how you know about it, but yes we have. It was my fault why she left.”

“Can I ask why?” She asked cautiously, trying to feel out his response, and if she were looking for subterfuge she didn’t get it.

“I told her how I felt about you, that I was still in love with you and that I could never be the man she wanted me to be. I decided to stop pretending our relationship was going to work out and she decided to end it.” He was tired of lying about his feelings, so regardless if she was ready to hear it or not he was going to be completely honest about them. 

After a few moments of silence, she admitted, “Jason knew that I never stopped loving you either but continued to try and keep our relationship going, I did too for the sake of our family. But he just couldn’t live with the lie anymore. Knowing that any love I have for him was never going to be the same as his. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I’m glad it’s over, just not about the way it ended.” If he was being completely honest, then so was she.

“Same here.” He replied after a few seconds. 

“I should have listened when you came to me that night. When you told me, you wanted to be with me, and we could have raised Liam together. At the time all I could see was you coming to resent me over him, knowing that he was not our child and how unfair it would have been to expect you to accept him. The constant presence of Jason in our lives, reminding both of us of the reckless decision I’d made by sleeping with him, despite the fact I wasn’t completely aware of what I was doing at the time.

“The truth is, a large part of me wanted to be with you. To start a life with you, but with the knowledge of knowing what I’d done, I couldn’t expect you to care for Liam as if he were your own. I felt it was asking too much of you, and I was afraid you would eventually come to resent me for it. It was a thought I couldn’t bear Chakotay. To know that I had so deeply disappointed you, as much as I’d disappointed myself. Now I’m pregnant with a second child, one I allowed to happen because I wanted to make my husband happy and show him I was committed to a future with him. I find myself regretting so many decisions I’d made, thinking I was doing what was best for everyone, even if it meant sacrificing my own happiness,” her voice was choking softly on the emotion of the complete and total honest admission, one she had only allowed herself to think about in fragments, until now. Knowing that if she ever allowed herself to see the full picture it would contain the power to break her, and it did. 

She began to cry in earnest now, unable to stop the pain in her heart from reaching its apex. So much of her time had been wasted on poor decisions, on constantly putting her own happiness on hold and doing what she felt was either the right or logical thing. She did it on Voyager feeling it was best not to indulge in any personal desires until they were home, and now she had done it again with Jason. Continuing to make sacrifices in favor of what was expected to be the most responsible decision. Giving her son the father who loved him and wanted to be there for him as well as his mother. Knowing that in accepting Jason’s love there was an expectation she would have to let go of all her feelings for Chakotay, a task she had quickly found to be insurmountable. They were too much a part of each other to ever let go of him completely. Her love pushing back every time she tried to subdue it. 

Chakotay gathered her into his arms and held her close, letting her cry. All he could do was offer support and comfort. Tears were leaving his eyes as well, the pain of having had to try and say goodbye to what might have been too unbearable to truly ever consider abandoning. He loved her too much, needed her too much to ever let go. Mira was a wonderful woman, and she did help him get over much of the pain in his heart, but she could never fill it. That place had already been taken by a woman he fell in love with years ago. A woman he’d only realized he was in love with when they were left alone to live out the rest of their lives on a planet they’d named New Earth. 

He had begun to feel something before that but had been too distracted by his duties and responsibilities to consider the subtle change in his feelings toward her. It wasn’t until they had reached a place of quiet solitude, his mind free of distractions that he came to understand what the feeling was, but still unable to fathom exactly how powerful it would ultimately become. He knew she felt it too after he’d admitted his love for her in the depths of a story that would one day become his mantra.

There was a hesitancy in her eyes then, just as there was when he asked her to be with him instead of Jason. She had taken his hand, laced their fingers together, invoking a silent promise of someday. He had been content with that, quietly knowing she still had feelings for another man, Mark, she was still trying to make peace with. As far as either of them knew, they had the rest of their lives to cultivate a deeply satisfying and fulfilling love over time. That is, until Voyager returned, turning back the clock and restarting from a place of friendship. Hoping for the promise that someday would finally arrive sooner rather than later. It had when they returned home, but by then he’d missed his chance to fulfill his side of the promise by dating Seven, something he’d eventually come to regret allowing himself to indulge.

He wasn’t prepared to do that any longer. He was now aware of the extent of her feelings for him as much as he was aware of his own. Too much time, along with too many regrets and poor decisions had passed for either of them to keep delaying their promise any further. Tears staining both their cheeks, he kissed her the way he’d always wanted, the way he’d always dreamed it would be. His hands wandered over her body, and between her lips and his hands, felt an instant feeling of familiarity began to fill his senses as if he had done this before. 

She began to feel the same sense of familiarity and continued to explore further to see if the feeling would continue or fade into a distant intangible memory. Tugging at his clothes, she needed to know, almost obsessive in her need to keep the feeling active and present. He seemed just as desperate as she was in her need for confirmation.

Taking her by the hand he pulled her into the bedroom and immediately began to undress her as quickly as humanly possible, her hands trying to do the same of him, unwilling to waste any time that might allow the feeling to disperse. Both undressed, she moved back onto the bed and lay down, her body welcoming him. He moved on top of her and accepted, entering her as fast as he could without hurting her. 

The feeling of familiarity increased at the moment of contact. She pulled him down, kissing him as he began to move his hips against her, her hands stroking his neck and face. She knew this feeling, had felt it from him before but didn’t understand how, just as he suddenly seemed to know the way she liked to be touched, made love to, kissed. It was more than just instinct; it was like déjà vu. 

The more they touched each other, kissed, the movement their bodies made against the other, something was starting to make sense. Their minds ascending out a dense thick fog and slowly rising like an air bubble to the surface of the water. He moved his hips against her, concentrating on his thrusts, each one bringing his mind one step closer to consciousness. She matching him, focusing on the memory which was about to surface any moment. She cried out her release seconds before his own, and when they opened their eyes, this time they were somewhere else. 

**Hidden Planet, location of the Remnant**

It had taken several hours to make it down to where her parents were being held. She had to stop several times to rest toward the end. Between disabling more necromorphs, hidden obstacles, and the constant mental and physical strain of using her abilities was draining. At the moment, she was staring into a large room from atop a ventilation shaft. Running the length of the room, she could see outside even though she knew she was hundreds of meters underground.

The huge row of windows revealed a gargantuan crater, floating above it was something she hadn’t seen or knew existed before now, the Remnant. The large obelisk structure was black, red glowing alien letters adorned and inscribed its surface. All the planet's psionic power was being focused on the object, drawn from a source deep within the massive pit below.

Focusing her attention back into the room, she could see her parents encased in some kind of clear tube positioned side by side. After a few seconds, their eyes snapped open and she could see them both using tactile and vision to explore their new environment before noticing one another. Each of them trying to communicate verbally but quickly realizing it was no use before resorting to hand motions.

What had started out as a scratch on her arm was spreading and becoming extremely uncomfortable. She had to ignore it, the burn on her skin giving way to what she could only describe as drops of liquid fire dripping below the surface and into her veins. A constant and endless reminder of what pain truly is and how raw it was in its honesty. Humbling in the face of any measure of experience, but she could make use of it. What she had left to do was still too important. A child would make any sacrifice for the love of their parents, cross any barrier, climb any height if it meant showing them the depth of their love and the need for their presence.

She had lost them before, remembered the extent of the mental and emotional price it had not only cost her but Asa. It was too late to go back for them; they had been dead for nearly two years now. In many ways, her time with them felt like a distant memory too dangerous to explore. The man and woman she saw before her were her parents now, perhaps had always been even before being made aware of their existence. Perhaps, she and Asa were always meant to be their children.

“How are you feeling Sian?” Her brother asked, worried.

“Almost there, brother. Just a little further now.” She replied, still feeling tired.

“Don’t get yourself killed. Mom and Dad would never forgive themselves if something happened to you. Besides, you promised to come back.” He reminded.

“I promised I would try, and I will. I have no plans to die today or any other day.” She stated, attempting to reassure him.

It seemed to put him at ease, “Just be careful.”

“Of course. Now let me focus.” She said and he fell silent, just as he had before.

Marrku had entered the room, otherwise known as the grey man. He saw them moving within the confines of their environment and gave no hint of emotion. “It’s almost time now,” he began, and they stopped, able to hear him when they couldn’t hear each other. He was using his mind to speak with them. Sian and Asa could hear him too, apparently tapping upon his wavelength, “The last of those girls’ protections are almost gone. I want to thank you both for your cooperation and participation in the reality I’d created for you. It certainly made the process of dissolving those protections much easier and less time-consuming. You played your parts brilliantly, and if it weren’t beneath me I’d offer you some kind of prize, but the only prizes given are the ones I take for myself.”

He extended his hand toward Kathryn, “I won’t lie to you. This will hurt. The pain will be excruciating, and you may even wish for death before the end, but I am running out of time. I need the child more than you do, and you have made me work far too hard in order to retrieve it. I cannot accurately convey how greatly I’ve desired this, the pleasure I’ll feel in watching you both suffer will be its own reward.”

With a gesture of his hand, Kathryn’s face began to contort in a symphony of exquisite agony, her hands going to her torso. The child within her beginning to grow at an accelerated pace. Chakotay beat his hands upon the tube, soundlessly screaming for him to stop, his face a mix of helplessness and anger as he kicked and threw his body against it in an attempt to break free.

Sian removed the grate and allowed herself to drop down onto a tall shelf below. Staff in hand, blades extended, she knelt down again, willing for haste one last time before she lost all strength. Needing to be fast, needing her aim to be true. Leaping forward, she seemed to fly through the air. The staff descended and brought it down upon Marrku’s extended arm, slicing it off before she landed in a crouch and rolled forward onto her feet, turning to face him.

It took several seconds before he released an agonizing scream, his eyes staring at the missing appendage in disbelief. He may have been powerful out of combat, but physically he was weak, too weak to put up a fight. She stepped forward, spinning the staff and cutting him into pieces before he had time to react then fell to a knee. She was exhausted, weary, drained. Having used up nearly every last reserve of psionic power to finally subdue him and end the nightmare.

Forcing herself to stand, she turned to look at the control panel between her parents. Before she could move toward it, the entire planet seemed to shake, a loud bellowing cry erupted nearby. Dropping down to her knee for balance, her eyes flicked toward the window overlooking the pit, and what she saw emerging was a creature who looked to be a third of the size of the planet. Many tentacles from the top of its head extended in every direction, at the end of them were large wide alien eyes. The appendages moved in unison and turned toward her, there must have been at least a thousand eyes in total.

Four impossibly large tentacles rose from the pit, the creature’s arms, one of them reached out and smashed against the window. A large crack began to form from the point of impact and began to spread out like a spiderweb. She didn’t have much time. Rushing forward, she disengaged the locking mechanism on the tubes, and they began to open. The first thing she heard was her mother scream, her stomach had grown large in a matter of minutes, her pants soaked and discolored in contrast to the black of her uniform.

She tapped her com badge, “Delta Flyer, enter at coordinates 127 by 34 and standby for transport.”

“Acknowledged.” The computer aboard the flyer stated.

Before the tubes could fully open, she reached inside her pouch and took out the transport enhancers and activated them. Moving to her mother, she placed it on her arm before moving to the second and placing one on her father’s leg. He grasped her wrist, “What are you doing here? You’re going to get yourself killed!” His hand reaching down to remove the device.

“Computer, energize.” She ordered quickly before he could remove it and they shimmered out of existence. “I love you both, but we are not safe yet,” She said even though they were no longer present and dropped the staff. Pulling the phaser, she turned toward the creature and aimed as it hit the window again, this time smashing it.

“The crew is waking up and we’re coming for you, hold on!” Asa cried.

“No, make sure our parents return to the Hermes safely. Mother is in labor and needs immediate medical assistance.” She said at a run, firing at one of the creatures many eyes, blinding it slowly.

It drew back in pain before lashing out at her again with a massive slow-moving tentacle. Hitting the side of the crater and sending out a shockwave. She fell when it hit, the power of the concussive force knocking her off her feet and causing the bulkhead below her to perform a ripple.

“No!” He cried, “We’re coming for you!”

Shaking her head from the blow when her skull cracked itself against the floor she pushed herself up, “You have to finish this Asa. It is up to you now. Use the Horologium when you’re in range and fire the pulse. It is the only thing that will shatter the Remnant and destroy the planet. Do not worry about me.”

“You’re insane! I won’t do it!” He shouted back defiantly.

“If you do not, everything we went through was for nothing. Everyone will die, you saw it in the vision. Mother and Father will die, Eva, all the people we care about. Including millions of countless innocent people. You cannot save me this time brother. It is time to let me go.” There was no reply. Behind her several necromorphs entered the room, all of them converging on her position.

He could see her in his mind as she moved and jumped from object to object in order to reach higher ground, knowing the solution was only temporary. Without a transport enhancer, they would need to go into orbit to try and retrieve her, at which point they would be shot up by what was left of the planetary defense grid. There wouldn’t be enough time to reach a safe distance even if they could get close enough to fire the Horologium without destroying themselves.

Emotionally it was an impossible choice, but tactically it was the right one. He wasn’t ready to make these kinds of decisions; they were for adults who had the knowledge and mental fortitude to cope with the outcome. He loved his sister, had been through a special kind of hell with her that no one else could fully understand. The bond they developed and shared over the last year as their powers began to manifest only brought them closer. He’d already lost one set of parents he loved, now he was about to lose the one person who had been able to truly encourage and temper him.

The tears that fell from his eyes were numerous, uncountable. It took every ounce of fortitude and willpower to force himself to press his com badge and give the order to Senua to fire now that they were within optimal firing range. Closing his eyes, he said, “I love you, Sian.”

“I love you too brother, tell Eva and our parents I love them as well.” She answered, still trying to stay out of the range of the necromorphs as the massive appendage swung again.

Before it could hit the crater, she saw a monumental shockwave hit the Remnant, instantly shattering it as the concussive shockwave continued to obliterate everything in its path, until finally making its way to her. She wanted to face her death head-on and without fear, and that’s exactly what she did.

Asa fell to the ground distraught once he felt the link between them severed. Victoria moved over and took him into her arms, holding him close as tears fell from her eyes as well. He didn’t have to say anything, she could tell by the look on his face she was gone.

**Hermes**

At the moment, Kathryn was the only thing that mattered to Chakotay. Once she was safe and the baby would be alright, then he’d have time to address any other issues. The Doctor was ready to proceed, having to utilize some creative thinking considering the circumstances. This had never happened before, so it was very much a new experience for his program. 

It had been agony for her, the pain excruciating. There was nothing he could give her besides a local to take the edge off until he could figure out how to safely remove the baby without causing further damage. The baby had already been transported once, and he didn’t believe the Admiral would have the strength to deliver her child in her current weakened state. So, he had to opt for a fetal transport. Making all the necessary preparations and correcting for any imbalance in the cerebellum, he transported the newborn into the incubation unit. 

Now that the baby would be fine, the nurses addressing the infant's needs, he could now focus on the Admiral who was hemorrhaging. The accelerated growth of the child had not been kind to the surrounding organs in her body, especially her uterus. It would take time to stop the bleeding and correct the damage, but the Doctor had certainly seen worse injuries and knew it would be difficult but expected her to make a full recovery. Placing her in a medical coma afterword, her body would then have time to heal and recover from the physical trauma. It would be several days at least before she would be awakened. 

Once Chakotay knew that Kathryn would be alright, he needed to see his children, especially Sian. Why she was even allowed down to the surface he had no idea, and the thought of her current status was all he could concern himself with. When she had transported him and Kathryn to the flyer, his focus was immediately directed to his wife and son. There wasn’t time to consider his daughter's fate or if she had made it back safely, and while he was in sickbay he hadn’t thought to ask for any status on her whereabouts, there was too much happening to consider any extraneous thoughts. But now that tragedy had been averted, he was able to consider the other concerns that were part of his conscience.

He contacted the bridge of the Hermes and requested an update on their status and was advised that the planet had been destroyed, the threat eliminated. When he asked about the status of Sian he was directed to go to Counselor Hamilton’s office, that it was he who would be able to explain and provide the information on her current whereabouts. He thought the instructions made no sense. Shouldn’t she be in sickbay recovering? Wouldn’t it have made more sense to speak with him there even if he had to transport to another sickbay in the fleet? He didn’t bother questioning his operations officer Ensign Renee Wilder further, knowing it would be pointless. She had only been relaying the information she’d been given, and if he wanted real answers he would have to make his way to Hamilton’s office to get them. 

The moment he reached the doors they opened. Hamilton was on his feet to greet him, having already expected his arrival. “Please come in,” his voice calm and soothing.

It made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, he didn’t like this, “Where are my children?” He demanded.

“They’re fine Captain, Asa is with the Admiral’s assistant Victoria and Eva is with Seven. Please, have a seat.”

He ignored the request, “Where is Sian? You didn’t mention her. Where is my daughter?”

He held up his hands as in surrender, trying to enforce a sense of calm, “Please have a seat Captain, and we can discuss her. I’d be a fool not to see how agitated, anxious, and worried you are at the moment, considering everything that’s just happened it’s not unexpected. However, until you’ve taken a moment to relax and breathe you won’t really hear anything I have to say right now.”

His mind was racing with all the worst-case scenarios, but death was something that refused to cross his mind, the thought of it unimaginable. Slowly, he moved to the comfortable chair he offered and sat down. The soft cushion and fabric inviting respite, his tense muscles unable to repel the relief it provided and involuntarily sank into the chair. He had been in a constant mental state of red alert from the moment he awoke to find himself in that tube on the planet, the rest of the events only served in keeping him there. 

Hamilton sat in the chair across from him and said nothing, allowing him as much time as he needed to relax his weary body and mind. Chakotay could feel his eyes beginning to close, as the constant state of mental stress was being placated and lulled into sleep by his body’s desperate need to rest and expel its tension. Before realizing what was happening, he had slipped below the veil into the land of unconsciousness. 

“Captain?” Questioned a soft familiar female voice.

In the darkness, he couldn’t see her, but knew she was there, “Where are you?”

“I’m here.” 

The voice called from behind him and he turned toward it as a white light illuminated the darkness. It was Kes. “Is this real?”

“As real as though I were standing before you. I wanted to be the one to tell you, I felt the news would be better coming from a friend than an acquaintance,” Her features were serene, peaceful, yet wise and full of compassion as he’d always remembered. 

“What news would that be?” He asked feigning ignorance, delaying the inevitable truth he was denying himself. Deep down, there were too many clues he’d willfully chosen to ignore because the truth was too painful to consider. 

She gazed up at him knowingly and sympathetically, “If it makes it more real for you I can say it if you wish.”

“Say what? My daughter is dead?” The words casually slipping out of his mouth, rolling off his tongue as if he’d already said them a thousand times, but hadn’t. It took several seconds before his thoughts caught up to his actions, “My daughter is dead,” he repeated. The words having taken on a dreamlike quality, the part of his brain that needed to hear and accept the admission still resisting, refusing to acknowledge them. 

Kes approached and laid a hand on his arm, a sudden rush of anger caused him to shrug it off, “Don’t touch me,” he replied, coming out as a harsh whisper and took a couple of steps back. The words he’d been resisting were out in the open, and what they implied he was beginning to find impossible to ignore. “My daughter is dead,” and the way in which the words were uttered filled him with such a deeply profound pain he thought his heart would cease to beat as he fell to his knees. With a scream he cried, “WHY!” before falling onto his hands, his body shaking, wracked with sobs of grief. 

Kes knelt down and placed her hand on his shoulder, “Because she wanted the people she loved to live. Had she chosen differently, everyone, not just the fleet, would be dead and this conversation would be meaningless. She convinced Asa to fire the weapon and destroy the Remnant along with the creature feeding it. He didn’t want to do it, almost didn’t, but in the end, it was love which allowed him to make the right choice. There was nothing more he or anyone else could have done to save her, and they both knew it.”

“Why was she there in the first place?” He spat angrily, selfishly, “She was only eight years old!”

“She was the only person who could have saved you and the Admiral. The only one with the ability to ward off the necromorphs long enough to reach you and get close enough to Marrku to destroy him. Had it been anyone else, the long night would have come. And she also did it for the most important reason.”

Sitting back onto his legs, tears staining his cheeks, he looked back at her through grief-stricken eyes, “What reason?”

Smiling softly, she answered, “Because she loves you. Sometimes there is no greater reason than that.”

His head fell forward, the pain and immense grief struck at his heart again. Kes moved closer and took him into her arms. This time he held her back, needing the anchor of comfort she provided. 

Hamilton watched the Captain’s face in confusion, seeing the expression twisting and changing though many stages of emotion. He wasn’t sure what was happening if he was somehow trapped in another vision as they all had until recently, “Captain,” he called firmly but received no response before trying again only to get the same result. This time he used the tips of his fingers to touch his shoulder, and it was then that Chakotay’s eyes snapped open and he sat up in the seat, tears falling from his eyes. 

Startled by the unexpected reaction, he retreated back into the chair, “Captain, are you alright?”

“No,” he answered simply, “but I will be.”

“Do you mind telling me what happened to you just now?” He asked, puzzled.

“Actually Counselor,” he replied, turning his face toward his, “I would.”

Hamilton didn’t quite know how to reply to that and remained silent for a moment, thinking.

“I know my daughter is dead. I don’t want to accept it, but I have to. She sacrificed herself for us, all of us, so we might continue to go on living,” He said and stood up.

“Where are you going?” His confusion only deepened.

“To see my son. He needs to know he did the right thing.”

“Captain…I don’t understand.”

“Maybe that’s the point,” he answered. Without another word, he turned and exited the room, leaving Hamilton stunned and even more confused than he already was.

***

Asa had discovered for a second time, that the ephemeral joys of childhood were often transitory. In fact, it would be fair to say he knew this better than most people. Victoria couldn’t help but sympathize with him, remembering when she had to grow up and put away childish things. Almost realizing the precise moment, the interest having waned with the desire. She had tried to comfort Asa as best she could, wanting to help him, but knew from her own experience nothing would change those impenetrable atramentous feelings until he was ready.

The door swished open softly, a shadow stretching across the room, growing shorter as the person casting it entered. No one glanced at him as he entered, too infatuated with the company of their own thoughts. Chakotay didn’t call for lights, finding them unnecessary. If his son had wanted them on he would have done so himself. It was only when Victoria noticed the movement behind her that she turned her eyes slightly to gaze his reflection in the window. Intrinsically, she understood what he was requesting and exited the quarters. 

Asa sat against the doorframe to his bedroom, the room that once included his sister Sian. It felt smaller somehow now that she was gone. In his hand, he held her copy of Vulcan meditation techniques, his feet propped against the other side of the frame as he stared at the title. She’d tried to get him to read it, that perhaps he might gain further insight into controlling his own emotions. He’d rebuffed her suggestion, disinterested in the prospect, now he was really considering it. Perhaps it would teach him how to let go of the awful feelings that were threatening to tear him apart inside.

“What have you got their son?” Chakotay asked quietly.

He didn’t answer right away, only continue to stare at the title, “Sian’s book on Vulcan meditations. I thought now might be a good time to look at it,” Then he started to cry, bursting into uncontrollable sobs. Chakotay moved to him and bent to a knee and took him in his arms. “It’s not fair!” He cried against his shoulder, “Hadn’t she already suffered enough? Haven’t we all?”

Chakotay stroked his son’s hair while rubbing his back and taking several deep breaths. He didn’t want Asa to see him cry, needing to be strong for him and remained silent, letting him grieve.

“We were supposed to take on the universe together. She was going to be the captain and I was going to be the admiral, and we were going to right the wrongs, discover all the hidden wonders and dangers of the universe, but that’s all gone now,” He cried bitterly.

“She wouldn’t want you to throw all that away simply because she’s not here,” he encouraged quietly, “She loved all of us too much for us to just stop living our lives. What she did, what the both of you did, was exactly what you just said you were going to do together, many years ahead of schedule. I think it’s too soon for you to give up on those dreams so easily. You need to live with this for a while, and after some time has passed, if you feel the same way or your passion changes, then let it go.”

“I can’t do this without her. She should still be here,” Asa said holding him tighter.

He kissed the top of his head, feeling tears prickling his eyes, “I know…I know,” it was all he could manage unless he was willing to allow the tears to rise and fall, this was something he was not prepared to do just yet and held him back just as tightly.

“I love you Dad,” he said before a fresh wave of tears fell from his eyes.

“I love you too Asa, don’t ever forget that,” he replied pressing his cheek against the top of his head, a few tears escaping without permission before he could regain control. 

This was one of the hardest things he’s ever had to live through, and if he thought it was hard now, it was going to be much worse when he had to tell Kathryn. A parent was supposed to outlive their children, not the other way around, it was one of life’s cruelest perversions.

**Four months later…**

Kathryn had taken the news as well as he’d expected once she was able to be told, having spent a week in a medically induced coma. Which meant she hadn’t taken it well at all. She had spent some time with Tuvok, needing his counsel more than ever, as well as time with Counselor Hamilton. In fact, all of them had spent time as a family speaking with him. 

During this time, the fleet had wrapped up their investigation with the Mithren’s, and Ocin had left the ship. If Tuvok were not Vulcan, he would have felt sadness at this parting. Instead, he felt a bond with him, having developed a kind of brotherhood over their time together. 

Rhys was the name they had given to the newest addition of their family; one Asa and Eva had insisted on and called him since the day they first laid eyes on him but did not share as to why. Chakotay and Kathryn hadn’t picked out any names, having felt they still had plenty of time before needing to decide. The children had remedied this decision. 

The girl Victoria had been searching a home for, Vellaen, found one in the end, Doctor Kroxin. The more time they’d spent together at the medical complex, the more he’d come to care for the child, so in the end, she’d found a home with a loving father figure among her own culture. A part of her was saddened, but the majority of her had been relieved in the end. Sian’s death had reminded her of the cost, of how painful that kind of loss could be. She’d seen it etched on the face of the Admiral daily, regardless of how well she tried to hide it.

Watching her and Chakotay at Sian’s memorial service had been a lesson in fortitude and resolve. Both had shown an extraordinary amount of resilience in the face of that loss. They would not allow themselves to express their grief in public, needing to show a united front of strength for Asa and Eva, choosing instead to comfort them in their time of despair. No one would have blamed them had they allowed their feelings to roam free. If they had, what the crew had failed to understand is they wouldn’t know how to stop. It was too dangerous to allow their true feelings to be shown at any point outside the safety of either Counselor Hamilton’s weekly meetings or their quarters. 

The Admiral had sent her final report to Starfleet Command regarding their primary mission with the Mithren, and they had been pleased with the result but had many questions in regard to the means. It was painful for the Admiral to constantly be reminded of the details she’d learned of her daughter’s death, how her son had been put into a position where he had to make the decision to destroy the planet and save millions of lives even if the meant losing the one most dear to him. 

She knew they wanted answers to those questions and understood the reasons for them, because she and Chakotay had had similar ones. Senua and Victoria had to take on the uncomfortable and monumental task of explaining the unique talents of her children to both she and Chakotay so they would understand why she had been allowed to go down to the planet in the first place. 

Initially, they had reacted as any parent would, berating them over the decision. However, once the initial shock had time to settle, eventually came to realize that it couldn’t have happened differently. Just because they had accepted the reasons, didn’t mean they were okay with it. She was their daughter, they loved her, and now she was lost to them forever despite how necessary their actions were at the time. 

The report she’d given Starfleet Command had been altered to omit certain details. Meaning she’d written it in such a way as to make no mention of her children’s unique abilities. That was information they didn’t need to be made aware of for personal reasons. She wasn’t prepared to lose any more of her children to the fleet or anyone else, regardless of the circumstances. 

Eventually, she’d managed to explain away their questions, and when she couldn’t, she would leave it to unknowable information. Everyone in the fleet had been subject to a cationic state, their minds given over to a false reality the alien Marrku created to keep them subdued while he implemented his final plans and take her child. She claimed to not know why he wanted him, or what his obsession with her child was. Their daughter had managed to slip away from Senua and Victoria’s attention in all the confusion and make her way to the planet, believing she could put a stop to his plans. She had, but paid the ultimate price for success. 

The two officers who were still conscious had done their best to stop Marrku and care for frightened and confused children whose parents had been taken, hostage. It was an insurmountable task to coordinate all those responsibilities effectively, a scenario that couldn’t be planned for. Sian was an intelligent child who had trained with a Vulcan Master and was instructed in the mediations they use to control and suppress their own emotions since the age of six. Her extraordinary talent in the Vulcan martial arts style Suus Mahna led her to believe it had given her an edge in order to take it upon herself to make the rescue.

Kathryn hated to alter the facts in this manner, making Sian appear as this willful child who defied her caregivers' wishes and struck out on her own, but it was the only way she could make the story sound even remotely plausible without revealing their talents. She believed Sian would have approved of the fabrication rather than provide the actual details. It was the only way she could justify and make peace with it. 

She hadn’t been able to breastfeed Rhys as she had Eva, the accelerated pregnancy hadn’t given her body the chance to produce milk. In many ways it had worked out, allowing her to use the time she would have used breastfeeding to continue overseeing the fleet. So, he was given a replicated breastmilk supplement which seemed to work almost as well and keep him happy. 

Rhys was a quiet child, hardly giving his parents any trouble. It was as if he knew they were grieving and didn’t want to add to their burden. He rarely cried or complained, which made it difficult at times to know if he needed anything or if he was just holding his peace. While his facial features resembled his father, his eye color was another matter. He had a unique condition called heterochromia iridum, where each eye is of a different color. One was dark blue while the other was a warm brown. His hair was black like his father's. He always seemed to be extremely guarded about everything but had formed a strong bond with his mother, just as Eva had with her father. When she was around, he didn’t have to be touching her, as long as he could see her it was enough to satisfy him. 

Over the last few months, they had met several different races, all of them friendly to one extent or another, and had been able to establish a positive presence with them. Until they reached a region of space occupied by a race called the Fen Domar. The name rang a bell with Kathryn, she remembered a brief conversation with the older Admiral Janeway in her ready room three years ago where she stated that it had taken her twenty-three years to get Voyager home. That their favorite teacup had taken a beating when they ran into that race, she claimed at the time, it would be several years from then. However, she never gave further details as to who they were or why they were engaged in any kind of confrontation. 

The small one-person vessel was sleek in design and appeared highly advanced, even though their sensors told them it wasn’t there. If they were preparing to fire Chakotay never would have known but ordered a red alert, better to error on the side of caution than not at all. 

“They’re hailing.” Operations Officer Ensign Renee Wilder said.

“On screen,” Chakotay ordered.

In front of them was a man who seemed to be wearing a very sophisticated and advanced armored suit. _“I am Technomage Zimon of the Star Riders Coven and firsthand of the Queen.”_

“I am Captain Chakotay of the Federation Starship Hermes. How can we be of assistance?”

 _“I need asylum,”_ he requested simply.

Chakotay seemed to be taken back a moment, “That’s a very interesting request. However, we don’t normally grant asylum to people we’ve just met. Perhaps you would care to meet in person, and we could discuss it.”

He gave a nod and began moving his fingers in a very deliberate pattern and simply vanished before their eyes, along with his ship.

“There is an intruder on deck one, location, briefing room along with a ship in our shuttle bay.” Security Chief Lt. Dudun Voi advised then pulled his weapon. 

His first officer, Commander Senua Ostad stood up and moved to the side of her Captain, “I do not sense he is here for a fight. In his own way, he is complying with your request,” She stated.

Lieutenant Voi entered the room first, weapon drawn followed cautiously by Senua and Chakotay. The man sat on the far side facing the door to the bridge and looked up at them as they entered. Touching the side of his helmet, it withdrew, breaking itself apart. The pieces hovered in the air for a second before zipping down to join other portions of his suit, almost as if they were being drawn there by a very powerful magnet. 

The man they saw was bald, young, and was near human in appearance other than eyes that had a slight amber glow showing two pupils. The skin on his face and head glowed white with alien markings and symbols, “Is this sufficient?” He asked politely.

Chakotay leaned toward Senua, “Notify the Admiral,” he ordered. With a nod, she left the room. Looking back at their guest he said, “It is usually customary to meet in a predesignated place before making yourself at home.”

“I apologize for any offense. I am unaccustomed to waiting for permission to act,” he explained kindly.

Chakotay took the seat across from him. If he wanted to harm them he could have done so already. Since he appeared to be a man who got straight to the point, he decided not to waste time either, “You seem to be able to handle yourself. Why do you need asylum from strangers?”

“Because it is your people and its tenets we need in order to help us resolve a matter of great importance on our world,” He replied, getting straight to the point.

“What matter would that be?” Chakotay asked slowly, cautiously.

“I have been accused of murdering the Queen and kidnapping her daughter. Her brother has accused me of the crime as a means of persecuting my coven, in order to gain the support of the senate and have my kind massacred. Many of my brothers and sisters have already managed to escape, some were not as fortunate.”

“I’m sorry to hear of your hardships, but it is not our policy to interfere in the affairs of other races,” he explained.

“Even when those affairs lead to genocide?” He questioned, “I have been studying your people for weeks, watching how you have conducted yourselves with other races. I have seen how your people show egalitarianism and diplomacy. Both are needed, now more than ever.”

Admiral Janeway entered the room followed by her assistant Victoria. Both men stood up when she entered and Chakotay began to introduce her to their guest, “This is Technomage Zimon,” he said before looking to him and was interjected before he could speak again. 

“Admiral Kathryn Janeway. It is an honor to meet you in person.” He said giving her a slight bow. 

She rose a questioning eyebrow, “I understand your arrival to our ship was highly unusual. I’m certain Captain Chakotay has briefed you on our protocol?” Her voice was firm, authoritative. 

“He has, again my apologies.” 

When she took a seat next to Chakotay, everyone other than Victoria and Voi joined her. 

“Our guest is requesting asylum and is asking for our help to intercede on behalf of himself and his coven. He believes they are being targeted as a means for extermination.”

“Perhaps you should explain the situation in greater detail, from the beginning,” She said looking to Zimon. 

“I will tell you all I can, but it could take some time,” he answered.

Leaning back in the chair, she prepared herself for the explanation to follow.

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> Members, as well as guests, are free and able to leave comments on any of my work.


End file.
